Redemption
by Funygirl38
Summary: The sequel to the alternate universe of Alternatives. Loki, on the run, finds Xavier's school for Gifted Youngsters. Accepted, taken in, he feels he has found a place he belongs, among people like him and for the first time in many ages starts to feel truly happy but when a woman, a telepath like him, enters the picture, has he found heaven or hell?
1. Chapter 1

He stood before one of the large stone pillars at 1407 Greymalkin lane, reading the simple metal sign partially covered by climbing vines, "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters". It was starting to sprinkle and he was footsore from walking. The driver of the semi that he had hitched a ride from in Bangor had dropped him at a rest area near the Salem Center exit off interstate 684. He had looked at the map enclosed behind a thick pane of plexiglass underneath a small roofed shelter, finding his current location marked by a small red arrow with the words "YOU ARE HERE" beside it, and he had found Salem Center a few miles distant.

He'd had to ask directions once or twice. An elderly gentleman who stood in the front yard of his house with the hose aimed at a line of rose bushes was finally able to point him in the direction of Greymalkin lane though he had cast him a curious look when he mentioned Xavier's school.

He put the small duffel bag on the ground. Roxanne had given it to Sarah for him to use for his clothes, the mere thought of her made him close his eyes, sway unsteadily on his feet. He opened them again, searching for a way past the immense black iron gates before him, finally spying the speaker and the lit green button below it on the pillar opposite the sign.

He walked up to it, took a deep breath and pressed the button, waiting. A voice from the speaker startled him, "May I help you?"

He looked about him, "I was sent here by a friend. I wish to speak to whomever is in charge."

"Do you have a student in residence here?"

"No."

"Please state the nature of your business."

He sighed, "Asylum...sanctuary, call it what you will." There was a long pause and he thought perhaps that the speaker at the other end had simply refused him entry by ending the conversation when he heard the motor inside the pillar start to whine to life and the gates swung open.

As he walked down the long winding path, he would catch occasional glimpses of a grand sprawling mansion through the trees, turreted like a castle, the walls the color of sand. He could hear voices coming to him on the wind, snatches of conversation, a shout of children playing.

A few minutes after he had stepped through the front gate, hearing it creak closed behind him, he was standing on the front steps staring at a set of heavy dark brown oak double doors. He turned around, looked behind him and considered running back down the long drive, they way he'd come. The only thing stopping him was the fact that there was nowhere else to go except back to SHIELD where his brother had been waiting for him at least up until last night when he had crossed into the state of New York and heard Thor's thoughts as he passed overhead at 20,000 feet in one of the jets with Fury on his way to Maine. He had damned his connection to his brother then, hoping that Sarah hadn't lingered in the parking lot of that truck stop waiting for him to return.

Instead, he walked up to the lighted button and pushed it, hearing the muffled sound of a doorbell just inside the door, waited. The door swung inward and a tall stocky man dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with wild dark hair, bushy sideburns and a look of suspicion that seemed permanently fixed to his ruggedly handsome face stood in the doorway.

"Who are you?"

Loki gave him a thin lipped grin, "I believe the correct wording is "How are you?"

The man looked him over, "Naw I got it right, who are you?"

He hesitated unsure what to say, unsure of who he could trust, "My name is Loki."

The man put his hands on his hips, "You're kidding right? Like the guy who busted up Manhattan? I might think about changing my name, mister."

Loki stared at him, "Are you in charge here?"

The man shook his head and chuckled, "Do I look like I'd be in charge here? Ororo is the...headmistress if you will. What do you need to see her for?"

Loki pushed past the man into a vast foyer, "Take me to her."

The man shook his head, "No can do, pal. She's in the middle of teaching class now and unless you got a student who goes here, you gotta have a real good reason to see her."

Loki watched students pass through the foyer, down the halls leading off in opposite directions, his hands tightening on the handle of his duffel bag, he was beginning to feel desperate. What could he tell him except for what Thomas had said.

"I am a mutant." He cringed at the connotations of the word, ashamed and angry all at once.

"That's what they all say, what's your story?" The man crossed his arms, waiting. Someone cleared their throat behind them making Loki jump. A tall young woman stood dressed in black slacks and a short sleeve high collared green blouse, her dark brown hair pulled back from her face with a silver clip, honey brown eyes narrowed at the man, a clipboard in the crook of her arm.

"Logan, we have a visitor."

"It looks that way don't it, Gracie." Logan retreated watching, a smile on his face.

"Don't call me Gracie, I've told you about that, it's Grace, got it? Say it for me...Grace."

Logan laughed, drawled out her name, "Grac...ie."

He dodged her swipe and Loki noticed that she had slim black leather gloves on her hands, so intent was his scrutiny that he didn't hear her speak to him the first time.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Logan shoved Loki, "Hey, keep your head out of your pants and answer the young lady."

"I did not hear the question." He growled at Logan, moved a couple steps away from him.

"I asked you your name, and your business here at the school. I talked to you over the intercom."

He only looked down at her hands again, "Why do you wear gloves when summer is still upon us?"

He heard a barely disguised guffaw from Logan, "That's one way to get black listed, my friend."

Grace turned to Logan and pointed down the hall, "Go away." but Logan merely shook his head,

"I've got a right to be here, I answered the door so he's in my charge until he either leaves or gets handed over to someone."

Grace rubbed her forehead and sighed, "Alright, just please will you shut up? Now," She turned back to Loki, "What is your name?"

He could see Logan, his arms crossed, a wide grin on his face as if to say, "spill it", standing behind Grace who was now holding the clipboard in front of her, a pen clasped in her gloved hand, ready to write.

"My name is Loki,"

"Like the Norse god?"

He closed his eyes, "Yes, like the Norse god."

"Last name?"

He groaned inwardly then, if she knew her mythology, even remotely, it was going to be nearly impossible to convince her he wasn't insane.

"Laufeyson."

She started to write the name, stared at it, looked back up at him, then at the name again, pursed her lips together.

"Lauf.."

"Laufeyson?" Logan chimed in, "What nationality is that?

He narrowed his eyes at Logan first, and was then brought back to Grace as she tapped the pen on the clipboard, still staring at the name before her.

"Um," She glanced up at Loki, "Reason...um."

Logan clapped her on the back, "Spit it out, Gracie."

She pitched forward a bit, rolled her eyes and swung the clipboard behind her, narrowly missing Logan's chin, swung around and shoved it at his chest. "You want to do the interview, fine with me."

He pushed it back at her, "It's your job, not mine."

Loki observed them for a few moments, heard a long toned beep and suddenly the hall was filled with students passing them in a rush, groups huddled together, talking, toting book bags, whispering and staring at him, the newcomer. He saw a pair of young girls watching him as they walked by, barely missing the newel post of the railing at the bottom of a polished wood staircase, giggling, the redheaded girl holding the blond's arm. He took another look at Grace and Logan and slid into the crowd, catching up to the two girls in seconds.

"Perhaps you could help me," He fell in step beside them and they stopped short, the redhead blushing furiously, they couldn't have been more than fourteen. He gave them his most disarming smile, "I am looking for Ororo, I need to speak to her. Can you direct me to where she is?"

"You mean Miss Munroe? Follow us, her office is down this hall at the end. It used to be the Professor's office but she's the headmistress now." The blond waved her hand for Loki to follow them.

They stopped before a tall door made of dark wood matching the paneling in the hallways.

"She might not be there yet, classes just let out and she's one of the teachers, are you going to be a new teacher too?" The redhead knocked on the door for him as she waited for his answer.

"I am not sure what I will be doing here but..." The door before them opened, interrupting him. A woman with short silver gray hair and medium brown skin, dressed in a black pant suit accented with a white v-neck shirt beneath stood in the doorway.

"May I help you?"

Loki was about to speak when he was struck from behind by a pair of hands at his back and he stumbled forward, his hand catching the doorway beside Ororo, the only thing preventing him from sprawling onto the wooden floor beneath him. He whirled around, his other arm outstretched behind him, catching Grace across the abdomen as she kept her forward motion. He grunted with the effort as her full weight bore down on his arm but he managed to keep her upright.

"Miss Archer, are you alright?" Ororo leaned down, her face inches from Grace's face where she'd stopped, leaning over Loki's arm. She reached down, picked up the clipboard that had skidded to a stop at Ororo's feet and pulled herself up, straightening her blouse.

"I'm sorry Miss Munroe, I lost track of our visitor here, I was trying to conduct an interview and Logan was with me, need I say more?"

Ororo smiled as Logan strolled up behind Grace. "That was fun, let's do it again."

"Logan, you're going to give Miss Archer a heart attack one of these days." Ororo turned to Loki, who had by now, been watching them, thinking of a way to calmly bow out of the proceedings.

"Mister?"

"Loki, please." He bowed slightly, "I wish an audience with you."

Ororo nodded, "Grace will you accompany us, Logan you too." She heard Grace groan and stifled a smile behind one hand, putting the other behind the back of the redhead who had stood there watching the whole scene, mouth wide open, "Shayna, you and Marly continue to class, thank you for your help."

Ororo moved from the doorway and waved a hand to usher them inside her office, shutting the door behind them.

"Have a seat, Loki. You too, Grace, Logan." Instead of walking behind her desk as he had expected her to, she hopped up onto it from the front, her legs dangling, ankles crossed. He gazed about the room at the shelves upon shelves of books, tomes, papers, dvds. Two tall multi-paned windows flanked the desk. The walls, what had been left uncovered by the absence of shelving, was done in a flocked red velvet wallpaper. A tiffany lamp and a wingbacked easy chair had been tucked in one corner beside the large windows. There were various pictures hung about the room, men and women alike, their dress older as they rose up the wall. The biggest picture behind Ororo's desk, a painted portrait of a handsome bald man in a strange wheelchair, a placid, all knowing look upon his face.

"Who is the man in the portrait behind you?"

Ororo turned her head as if to refresh her memory but she was smiling as she did so. "That is a portrait of our former professor and headmaster Francis Xavier."

"With the questions again, you are clever." Logan looked at Grace, "He certainly tripped you up with them, doll."

"Logan." Ororo's voice carried a note of warning. "Loki, first things first, why are you here?"

He clasped his hands together in his lap to prevent himself from fidgeting.

"I have come to ask you for sanctuary. It was suggested by a friend that I come here to the school."

Ororo had been leaning forward, hands on her knees, now she straightened up.

"A friend? Who?"

"His name is Thomas Stewart, he hails from the state called Maine."

Ororo nodded, "He visited us here for a week last year, he was considering coming here for help with his ability but his wife was dead set against it. How is he?"

"He is well as is his wife and daughter."

Ororo nodded again, "I hope he'll reconsider in the future, he's more powerful than even he realizes."

"And he's pussy whipped too." Logan added.

"Logan you are crude." Grace shot him a look.

"He said you would be able to help me. I have nowhere else to go, save here." He closed his eyes, put his head against the back of the chair, "I will do what you wish of me. I excel in hand to hand combat, I have trained..." He paused, he had been about to say "my fellow Aesir" "I have trained others as well. I could do so here."

"You aren't serious, you look like you couldn't bust your way out of a bad idea."

Loki glared at Logan, "Do not misjudge me, lest you be made to eat your words."

Instead of taking his words as a challenge, Logan chuckled, "It's a date, Laufeyson."

"Laufeyson, that's your last name?" Ororo watched Grace look at Loki then back at her clipboard with a pensive demeanor on her face, as if trying to remember something.

Loki nodded, "It is."

Ororo stood from the desk, "Logan, Grace, will you please excuse us. I need to talk to Loki alone."

Grace arose from the chair she'd been sitting in a bit slower than Logan who was already at the door.

"Come on, Gracie. The boss has requested our absence."

Grace lifted her clipboard and banged it against her forehead a couple of times, earning a curious stare from Loki,

"Whatever, Logan, you win, I'm Gracie."

"Aww," Logan put his hand at her back as they walked out the door of the office, "Don't give up so easily, it ain't no fun if you don't put up a struggle."

Ororo waited for their conversation to die down before she sat down in the chair beside Loki. "Mister Laufeyson, you've asked for sanctuary. Are you a mutant?"

Loki was suddenly weary to the very bone, "I am as like a mutant as you, Miss Munroe. I am a shape shifter, a telepath, I possess the gift of eloquence and as such can be used as a powerful negotiator, my strength, when I deign to use it, is unparalleled among.."

"Humans?" Ororo finished for him, "Loki, I am glad that you asked for help before I determined who you were. I will not refuse any mutant sanctuary but can you really be classified as such?"

"Do you not believe in my abilities? If need be, I may demonstrate...," her words had finally caught up with his mind and comprehension, "You know of me?"

She reached over and put a hand on his shoulder, "We're a community of mutants, S.H.I.E.L.D. Is an alliance of superhumans, did you not think there'd be any interaction between the two?"

"I abandoned the woman I love to save her from my fate, I believed I had chosen the middle ground by coming here. My thought process in the preceding twenty-four hours has been decidedly flawed." He rose from the chair he'd been sitting in, "I will take my leave of you. I only beg the favor of time so that I might put distance between this place and myself if you are to inform Director Fury of my whereabouts. There is only one other option beyond this."

Ororo held up her hand, "I didn't say you couldn't stay here Loki, but we have to have an understanding. I would like the truth from now on. You will act the model guest. I will speak with Nick so that we can come to some sort of negotiation, and I will consider including you as an assistant instructor in our self defense class."

He could feel his knees giving way and he sought the chair again, sitting down heavily, his head in his hands, ashamed that an affirmative answer to his request should affect him so deeply yet wanting to kiss the hand of this benevolent woman before him.

"I will warn you, however, that these children and my friends here are my primary concern. I will come down on you hard if you reveal that your intentions are anything else but honorable and peaceable and I can guarantee you I would not be alone. I will have Grace show you to the rooms. She's the house mother as well as a former student. We will provide you with what you need and I will talk to you tomorrow. Hopefully I can reach Fury to speak to him. You have the run of the manor house proper until I determine what to do. You may roam the grounds though I'd suggest getting some food and rest."

Ororo opened the door of her office and peered into the shadows in the hallway where she could see Grace leaning on one of the tall chairs lining the hallway. She heard the door open and glanced up to see Ororo wave at her and she walked up to them.

"Grace, take Loki to one of the empty suites on the second floor. See that he has what he needs. Fresh towels, bed linens and then show him to the cafeteria. Supper will be at five, Loki. You may join us at the staff table."

Grace was writing things down on her clipboard, stopped and glanced up at Ororo, "Anything else?"

She shook her head, "That's it for now." She smiled, "You're dismissed."

Grace could feel his eyes at her back as they climbed the large oak staircase that began in the foyer, the effect in the now silent halls so disconcerting that she tried to make conversation just to hear her own voice.

Their steps echoed down the long dark paneled corridor, "Where are you from, Mister Laufeyson?"

She thought perhaps he wasn't going to answer her but after a short pause he did,

"Loki, if you please...I am from..New York at the present time."

"You may call me Grace. I am the house mother here at the mansion. I take care of the daily running of the school. Logan likes to call me the hamster that turns the wheel. I like to call him...oh, never mind, he irritates me just for fun."

"Hamster.." Loki searched his mind, "hamster that turns.."

"The wheel, haven't you ever seen a hamster in a cage, running on those metal wheels like they're going to get somewhere?"

"I have not."

They had stopped before a dark green wooden door towards the end of the corridor. While she fiddled with a large ring of keys, he glanced out of the tall arched window to their left. The September sunlight glittered off a the water of a small lake, the manicured grounds sloping gently to the water's edge. He could see a large swimming pool, a set of tennis courts, farther off in the distance just beyond the far tree line, a baseball diamond. There were a couple groups of children out on the lawn with a few adults, the children were sitting on the grass appearing to listen to them.

"Come on, let me show you your rooms." Grace called to him. He walked through the door behind her. To his right, there was a small sitting area with two tan easy chairs and a darker settee grouped around a small fireplace. A tall window beside the fireplace cast sunlight into the room which was paneled with rich brown slatting from the floor up to the chair rail, from the rail to the ceiling, green flocked wallpaper like the style he'd observed in Ororo's office. To his left, butted against the outer wall, was a full sized bed with a spartan ebony wooden headboard. The mattress was bare. Beyond the bed, he could see the door to the bathroom. He walked around the end of the bed and peered inside. There was an old clawfoot tub, a wash basin with a medicine chest above it, and a toilet, the whole done up in white tile and light blue plain wallpaper.

He turned around to see Grace had left the room and he stood there a moment, unsure of what to do until she sailed back through the door, her arms full of bedsheets and towels, balancing a pillow atop it all. "I'll make your bed for you this time, then you're on your own forever after."

He watched her fit the sheets around the mattress and realized she'd taken her gloves off for the task.

"Where are your gloves?"

She seemed to jump, as if startled. "I can't make the bed with them on."

He started towards the other side of the bed, meaning to grab the sheet she was currently struggling with but before he could reach for it, she was holding up her hands,

"I'll do it. That's what I'm here for. It'll be your responsibility afterward though."

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, took them out, clasped them behind his back, finally crossing his arms in front of his chest.

She caught his flurry of movement as she was drawing the blanket up to the pillows, "Are you alright?"

"I am."

She shoved the pillows into cases and as he stood there, he began to let his mind explore, a few thoughts, a list of things she kept repeating to herself but there it stopped, once again he'd met another human whose mind was all but closed to him, though hers was like looking through an opaque pane of glass, he could discern shadows, colors, no thoughts except those on the immediate surface.

"Alright, you've got an hour until supper bell." She took her gloves from the pocket of her slacks and put them back on, picked up the pile of towels from one of the easy chairs and handed them to him.

"You can take a shower if you like. Do you have any clothes in that duffel bag?"

She walked over to where he'd dropped his bag on the floor at the end of the bed and he gripped the towels tighter, "I have only.."

"I'll get you some clothes, we have a rack of extras in the laundry room. Clothes people have left, donated." She pulled a t-shirt from the bag, "You wear large," then a pair of pants.

She wrote something down on the clipboard and stood up.

"I'll be back."

As she reached for the handle, he finally found his tongue, "I do not know where to go."

She looked over her shoulder, "I will come back around four-thirty to take you to the great hall. Miss Munroe said you're eating with the staff."

He swallowed hard, looked down at the towels in his arms. "I wish to eat alone."

"Well you've been asked to join the staff in residence. Etiquette dictates that you should join us if you've been invited to do so." Grace fixed him with a stare, "So I will be back with clothes and then we'll go down to supper."

She shut the door behind her. He set the towels on the bed and sat beside them, glancing about the room then closed his eyes, searching for Sarah, finding her, feeling the anger, the rage and breaking the connection before he could hear any real thoughts. He put the heels of his palms to his eyes, stifled a groan and lay back on the mattress. He was now more unsure of what he'd done than at any time in the past year, even when he'd been the puppet of the Chitauri, when his damnable brother had begged him to stop the attack. There had been no pain then, not like the agony he felt when he'd seen Sarah's mind.

He lay his arm over his eyes to shut out the light and quickly fell into a light doze, his thoughts free from worry if only for a short while.

Grace knocked on his door, got no answer, knocked again. She shrugged then, opened the door slowly, hoping she wasn't going to catch him coming out of the bathroom naked, frowned as she saw him lying across the bed. She jostled the bed hard with her knee, satisfied when he sat up abruptly and rolled to one side.

"Did you have a chance to shower?"

He looked up and behind him, "I fell asleep."watched her drop the clothes she'd had draped over her arm, on the bed beside the towels.

"Get up and get going, it's almost twenty after four."

He stood up from the bed, turned and faced her, "I have said I shall not join anyone for supper. I wish to eat alone."

He was unprepared for her reaction. She walked up to him, grabbing a towel from the pile as she passed it and shoved it into his hands. "I pride myself in keeping a good house. I expect respect from all residents just like I do the students so when I explain to them why they have to do something, they should understand and follow the rules."

He shoved it back into her hands, "Do you not respect the residents as well? Do they not have a say in what they wish to do?"

She took his hand in hers and slapped the towel into it, "When they follow the proper channels and behave as a guest should, they certainly do."

The strain of the last twenty-four hours seemed to collapse in on him and he threw the towel across the room, "I wish to be left alone!" his shout echoed in the high ceiling of the room. "I care not whether I eat, whether I starve, I would doubtless do the world a favor in doing so."

Grace walked over to the towel in a heap on the floor, bent over, picked it up and tossed it on the bed with a sigh. "Then why did you come here?"

She gave him a look of disgust, turned and walked out the door into the hallway. He listened to her steps as they gradually faded away, then he snatched the towel up from the bed and with a grunt, walked into the bathroom and shut the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Grace was in the middle of a mouthful of food when she noticed the normal suppertime din of the hall dial down a couple notches. She glanced around the room and finally caught sight of the interruption. Loki had walked into the room seeming as terrified as a new student. She thought about standing up and showing him where to go but the scene in his room replayed in her mind and she kept her seat, merely observing him. She looked to the staff table and saw Ororo already out of her seat and waving to him and still he seemed rooted to the spot as if ready to bolt at any sudden moves.

She had heard his name before, she had read it countless times from her books on mythology and although nothing would ever surprise her again after the last ten years spent among super-humans, if he was the real deal, she was Queen Elizabeth. Logan had been right, his name had to be mere coincidence, either that or he'd made it up. The tall man awkwardly making his way over to the staff table was simply another mutant. She resumed eating, taking one more look at him, realizing he'd found her gaze and was staring back at her with those intense blue green eyes and she nearly choked on her mouthful of fish, grabbing a glass of water and taking a gulp. By the time she had managed to get the mouthful down, however, he was sitting at the staff table beside Logan. She shivered, feeling his stare lingering in the back of her mind. She stood with her tray, trying not to turn her head in his direction, hoping that it was just a residual effect that she felt his eyes were on her again. She brought the tray to the long carts at the side of the hall, separated her trash and put the tray in one basin then hurried out of the hall, her clipboard under her arm.

Loki watched her leave, unsure if she'd approved of the fact that he'd made it to the great hall alone, whether she even cared, and angry at himself for wanting to apologize to her for the way he'd acted. The burden of human sentiment was a ponderous weight and he wished fervently to be free of it but so long as he stayed among them, he was doomed to bear the repercussions all around him. He had even begun to fall victim to such deep seated emotions. He thought of Sarah again, her touch, her smile, her voice, and he closed his eyes.

"Hey, pal, don't let your food get cold. It's a helluva lot better hot." Logan nudged him.

He glared at Logan and muttered, "Can you not see that I was deep in thought? Grace was right, you are a thorn in one's side at best."

He had swiped the fork up from the table and was about to stick it in the piece of fish that lay before him on a plate when he was jolted nearly from his seat by a sharp prick at his side. He turned to Logan who now held up one hand from which jutted between the knuckles three long razor sharp blades.

"Now _that_ was a thorn in your side wasn't it." They stared at each other until Ororo tapped on the table with her knife."

"Boys, at the table we use proper manners."

Loki nodded, broke his stare, "Forgive me, Miss Munroe."

Ororo returned the nod, "Logan?"

Logan was sitting back in his chair, hands on the table, "He's a little oversensitive don't ya think?"

Ororo put her fingers to her temples and rubbed them, "Logan." her tone had switched from congenial to threatening.

"Ah shit, fine, I'm sorry, now can we finish eating?" he sat forward and picked up his own fork.

Ororo shook her head, "Of course, we wouldn't want to impede your forward progress would we."

Loki paused outside the great hall in the corridor unsure of whether to return to his room or wander the mansion. He was concerned about losing his way only because he wished not to ask anyone for directions. He considered looking for Grace and asking her to show him around but he doubted she was going to want to show him anything but the door at this point. He chose the corridor to his right and started walking, weaving amongst the few remaining students, past countless doors, some labeled, some ambiguous, the sameness of them all broken up by color or personal artifacts. He wondered if there were places that were off limits to him. Then it struck him, he wanted to find the library. Books would occupy his mind now that his body had been sated.

He had been looking down at his feet but now that he had a goal in mind, he put his head up and just narrowly avoided walking into a man a bit shorter than him who had a book in front of his face and was unaware of the encounter, or the man he'd missed, as he kept his stride, until he was a few steps past him.

Loki stared unabashedly at the man dressed in a long brown coat, gray button down shirt and brown trousers, his feet bare. The pointed tail that stuck out from underneath the hem of his coat had been swinging languidly back and forth but had now stiffened in response as he stopped dead in his tracks. He glanced over his shoulder at Loki, "Forgive me, I vas reading and valking yet again."

Loki slowly approached the man, circling him, gazing at his dark blue skin, hair, the markings, scars, his golden eyes.

"Vat..." the man stammered, "Can I help you?"

Loki stopped before him afraid to say the words but compelled to at the same time, "Are you Jotun?"

The man blinked, tilted his head, "I am Kurt. Who is dis Jotun you speak of?"

Loki raised his hand, hesitated, then touched Kurt's own hand which still clasped the book, quickly withdrawing it as he felt the warmth at his fingertips. Kurt closed his book and hugged it to his chest.

"You are new here, ja?"

Loki looked about the corridor as if awakening from a dream, then back to Kurt, "You have but three fingers.."

Kurt smiled, revealing pointed white teeth, "Mmmm, and two toes for a total of ten digits."

"Your teeth.." Loki put his hand to his lips.

"Ja, teeth...you vant I should call dem fangs?"

They moved apart to let two students pass on their way to the dorm rooms.

"I wish ve could continue this wonderful lesson in anatomy but I am running a bit late. Vas dere something I could help you mitt?"

Loki looked at the floor then, mute.

"The library, perhaps?"

"Please," he whispered.

Kurt pulled a gold chain from the pocket of his trousers. At the end was a small pocket watch. He glanced at it and sighed, "Come mitt me, I vill show you the way."

Kurt pushed one of the heavy oak doors open to reveal one of two rooms stacked floor to ceiling along most available wall space with books on white painted shelves. Short brown couches were scattered about the middle of the first room. High backed light blue flocked chairs stood in groups in the corners. A large fireplace dominated part of one wall to their left, a longer couch and two red chairs flanked it. Loki walked farther into the room, turning slowly around to take it all in.

"Dis is the library. You may borrow books but vatch for der librarian. She is a harsh taskmistress." Kurt removed his book from under his arm and held out a hand for Loki to shake, "It has been a pleasure." Loki started to put his hand out, stopped, then as if afraid he'd lose his nerve, grasped Kurt's hand and shook it.

Kurt made a slight bow and made to leave but paused, "Ach, I did not catch your name."

He had approached a shelf in the interim and was starting to peruse the titles, "Loki."

He didn't see Kurt Wagner's look of surprise, nor the change to confusion as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway again on his way to fencing class.

The book lay down open faced on the mattress beside Loki. He had returned to his rooms to find a pair of pajama pants and a top lying on the bed with a few sets of clothes folded next to them. He put put the pants in one drawer of the dresser, the button down shirts in another, t-shirts in the top, she'd even included a couple sets of boxers and socks, for he knew it had been Grace who'd brought them. He changed into the pajama pants, ignoring the top, draping it over one of the easy chairs, then sliding between the sheets, suddenly aware of how tired he really was. He picked up the book again, in an attempt to read himself into a stupor, preferring to clutter his mind with words instead of the relentless thoughts that took over when he was quiet, the noise of a myriad of minds all thinking at once, the one loudest in his head, that of Sarah.

He had set in one of the easy chairs earlier when he'd first gotten back to his rooms and let his own mind slip into the ether until he found and joined hers. His hands had gripped the arms of the chair on reflex as the fresh influx of her essence had assaulted his senses. Her earlier anger had turned to worry and unsettling fear. She had been thoroughly questioned by Fury, examined by one of the office physicians, told about the pregnancy which she'd already been aware of. The offer of an abortion had crossed her mind and he'd almost leaped from the chair until she sent particularly venomous thoughts towards the one who had suggested it, taking his breath away when it resurfaced in her thoughts unbidden a few minutes later. He had broken the connection, cried out in the emptiness of his room, the residual emotions coursing through him like the long ago jolt of the perimeter bracelet.

He put the book back down, picked it up again, trying to concentrate on the plight of Romeo, spilling the book twice to his side as he began to doze. He closed the book a final time, turned off the lamp on the night stand and burrowed under the covers, all conscious thought banished for the remainder of the evening as his breathing eased into a steady rhythm and sleep finally overtook him.

The knock on his door brought him up through a dreamless sleep. He opened his eyes, squinted at the low rays of sunlight streaming into the room across his bed. At the second knock, he muttered, "Come in."

Grace opened the door and poked her head into the room. "It's almost breakfast and we have a bit to accomplish today."

He rolled over on his side facing away from the door and groaned, heard her close the door and almost considered that she might have left him alone again but she was soon rummaging in the drawers of the dresser for a set of clothes. He watched her, his arm under his head.

"Get up, we have to eat then we're going to the "Self Defense as an Option" class to observe and possibly test your proficiency to be an assistant instructor. I say possibly because I have to get the go ahead for you to be official and you have to demonstrate knowledge of the moves and procedures."

Loki sat up in bed and stretched, "You are relentless, are you aware of this? What have I done to cause you such concern about my eating habits. Am I truly that thin?"

Grace tossed a shirt and pants onto the bed, "It's called a routine, we have one around here, it falls under social etiquette and manners which you seem to have a lack of."

He had bent his knee up under the covers and was now resting his arm on it, "And who, might I ask, knocked on my door at this impossible hour, is that not rude?"

"Seven a.m is an impossible hour? How long do you usually sleep?"

Loki frowned, grabbed the shirt before him and shrugged it on, concentrating on the buttons, ignoring her question.

"Don't concern yourself either way, I make it a point to guide new people only for a couple days, then I leave them alone."

She held her clipboard wrapped in her arms as he finished the last button, his hands had a certain graceful elegance in their movement and she found herself staring at them for a moment.

"I would put on my pants were it not for the fact that you seem unwilling to look away." Loki began to throw the covers from him and she covered her eyes. "I'm sorry." and swung around to face the sitting area, hearing the bed creak as he stood and the rustle of cloth as he pulled his pants up and zipped them. As the bed creaked again, she pivoted back around to see him with a pair of socks in

hand, pulling the old pair of dockers he'd arrived with from under the bed and she clucked her tongue.

"I forgot to get you shoes. We'll stop and get some later."

He stood from the bed and she opened the door for him, "How tall are you?" He shrugged in response, "How tall are _you_?"

Grace cast him a sideways glance, "I'm five nine, you must be at least six two." She flattened her hand out at the top of her head then raised it even with the top of his, "Yeah, at least."

He reached out and caught her hand before she could draw it away, "You still have not told me why you wear gloves."

The shock of his touch coupled with the fact that he was holding her hand made her wrench from his grip more violently than she meant to, "I like gloves, my hands get cold and don't ever do that again."

"I am as a rule often impulsive. Forgive me." His tone had softened then. She nodded, her hand still shaking as she gripped the clipboard.

"Apology accepted."

She could hear the soft pad of his shoes behind her as they headed to the hall for breakfast. She tried to slow her heart rate again. She had known when she first met him that he was vastly different from the other mutants she usually dealt with. He radiated something akin to power, she was unsure whether it was his eyes, the intensity of his gaze. Was it the way he held himself, his stance always somehow regal? She had told herself afterward that he was just another handsome face, and she'd happened to notice, berating herself for it in the process. Then he had taken her hand and even through the gloves she had begun to sense images, scenes she didn't want to see, a strange looking city, a name, Asgard, another name, Sarah, a long strangely wrought staff with a blue orb at its end, then she'd pulled from his grasp. Asgard she knew about, at least from books and she hoped that she had seen a drawing or his own interpretation because anything else would be totally unrealistic. But it was undeniable, he possessed incredible power in those hands and she had felt it.

Ororo sat at her desk, hands templed before her. She glanced at the phone before her that she'd just set back in its cradle, expecting it to ring again. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly then stood up. She was going to have to find Loki quickly.

They were halfway down the main staircase in the foyer when Ororo caught up with them. She touched his shoulder and he spun around, nearly missing the next step, Grace paused beside him.

"Loki we need to talk now, excuse us Grace."

Logan met them at the bottom of the stairs, "You two heading to chow?" and was immediately on guard as he caught Ororo's expression when they passed him to pause in a small alcove off to the side of the stairway. He stood there listening.

"I spoke with Fury just a few minutes ago. He was quite adamant that we hand you over to S.H.I.E.L.D., that you were a wanted man."

"Wanted, for what?" Logan had walked over to them.

"For forming a relationship with Sarah Miller. For leaving New York without permission. I tried to find her when they took her from me, reassigned her. I did everything in my power to reach her."

"What's everything?" Logan was staring back and forth at the two of them.

"Fury mentioned Sarah."

Loki grabbed her arm, "What did he say?"

"He said she was there at the office but he wouldn't say anything else. I told him I'd offered you sanctuary and until I decided otherwise, you could remain here unless he considered you a danger to my students."

Loki held his breath, waiting.

"He told me what he wanted me to hear, I knew he would. He's a manipulative man even if he claims his intentions are honorable. I told him I had to give you a chance, that we were more than safe here."

Loki let go of her arm, a slight smile coming to his face,

"He said that your brother was on his way to talk to you."

Loki's heart started to hammer in his chest.

"Should we be concerned?"

They were interrupted by a loud knock at the door. Ororo looked at Logan, then at the door where the knock came again, this time a bit more forceful. Loki tried to will his feet to move but they wouldn't obey him and he watched Logan as he opened the door to find Thor silhouetted in the bright sunshine spilling in the doorway.

"Can I help ya?"

Thor started to elbow him aside and Loki realized he was in full battle armor, one hand held Mjolnir extended at the handle. "Brother, come here!"

His forward progress was impeded suddenly by Logan who put his arm across Thor's chest, "Hold it, pal. I didn't say please come in."

Thor growled at him, brought his arm up shoved Logan hard enough to send him sliding across to the stairs.

Loki had pushed Ororo back, and now held up a hand to Thor as he rushed at him, taking the outstretched hand in his own and wrenching him forward to the hard metal armor at his chest, all of it happening too fast for Loki to react. He heard Grace's voice on the stairs above them where she had remained, "Logan!" And suddenly he was outside in the bright sunshine with students and faculty alike staring and shouting. Thor locked his arm with Loki's, bent his knees and raised Mjolnir, and Loki closed his eyes to the scene before him of the school, students, teachers, new friends, that would soon disappear from his sight. He felt his feet leave the ground for a fraction of a second, heard the sound as of a sword striking stone and he was jerked backwards, felt Thor's grip loosen and knew he'd found his chance.

He stood then beside Logan who had buried his claws into the asphalt of the circular drive, through Thor's long red cloak. Thor bellowed in rage swinging Mjolnir around over Logan's head, his cloak ripping in strips as he turned.

Logan yanked his claws from the pavement and held them up before him, "You got worse manners than your brother here."

Thor, his teeth bared in a snarl, walked up to Logan and stared him in the eyes, "You are nothing to me." He swung around to Loki who was glaring at him with unbridled hatred, "Brother, you will come with me to New York."

Ororo shoved her hands between Loki and Logan, parting them to stand before Thor who without warning broke into a seeming benevolent smile, "Woman, I have no quarrel with you, be gone before you are injured."

"I spoke with Fury and I told him Loki was remaining here. Did you not get the message?" Her hands were down at her side palms out and open, ready. Logan grinned at Thor whose smile had swiftly dropped from his face.

"Loki, do you wish me to call the Bifrost here? Are you ready to bring your friends to Asgard with you?"

If he could have returned to that evening in the cell, he would have acted with more haste to slit Thor's throat if only to prevent him from speaking at that moment.

"You need to leave the school grounds at once." Ororo had now brought her hands up, palms towards the sky. Logan began to back up, pushing the students near him back towards the doors of the school, "You tell him where to go, Storm."

"Logan," Her tone was one of warning but it carried a hint of humor as the clouds far above her started to coalesce and swirl. A brief flash of lightning made Thor chuckle and Loki put a hand to his forehead.

"Bring your lightning sorceress, I will bring the thunder." He swung the hammer down in a forward arc to strike the pavement, cracking it beneath her feet, throwing her hard to the left where Loki caught her by the arm to keep her upright, she as swiftly jerking from his grasp, her hair swirling about her as the irises of her eyes faded into the sclera, an ivory white. Thunder was rumbling in the sky now, lightning and wind making the children back further towards the building.

Kurt stood in one of the multipaned windows on the second floor, staring in disbelief at the scene unfolding in the courtyard below. He had felt the house shake beneath his feet and would have passed it off as a student's antics if he'd not heard the ensuing crack like stones being thrown together. He put his book down on the windowsill.

Thor's laughter was cut short as a concentrated sharp blast of wind knocked him backwards off his feet. It was Ororo's turn to smile, "That's nothing, wait until we get started."

Thor struggled to his feet, squeezing the handle of Mjolnir, glaring at her, he'd nearly managed to regain his footing when he was knocked down again by something he couldn't see at first, a streak of blue that was everywhere and nowhere at once, appearing and disappearing in a sulfurous cloud with a sound like air being pulled swiftly through a vaccuum. He swung with one fist at the air, receiving a chuckle in his ear for his trouble. He shoved his feet beneath him and straightened up to stand facing Kurt whose tail was now snapping back and forth like a whip,

"A frost giant, here in this realm?" Thor reared back ready to grab him but he had long disappeared again.

"Much vorse," He heard behind him, whirled around until he'd come full circle again where they were standing in a line in front of the school, Logan, Ororo, Kurt and Loki.

"You come back to NewYork, brother. Sarah mourns for you, grieves for you. She thinks you dead."

Loki's heart twisted painfully in his chest at the mention of her name and he strode dangerously close to Thor, "And after she's seen me, you take me back home and she is alone again while I serve my sentence? What then brother, what if the High Council see's fit to take my life? Will you fill the void in hers? Cater to two women at once? Or would you abandon Jane for her?" He had seen inside his brother's mind, the way he had comforted Sarah when they'd brought her back to S.H.I.E.L.D. How he'd tenderly stroked her back as she cried, fighting the desire rising in him to claim what had been his brother's, perhaps only to spite him, her beauty intoxicating him as it had Loki.

"COWARD!" Thor bellowed, "You are unworthy of her as you were unworthy of the throne, as you are unworthy of the concern of these strangers. You will always be a coward." he stepped closer and Loki tensed, ready. "I will tell her that you live, that you have no wish to see her, is that what you want?"

Loki was now inches from Thor's face, "And I shall tell Jane that you wish to bed Sarah. We shall both be undone shall we not?"

Thor roared, brought his hand up in a backward lash at Loki's jaw, knocking him to the ground. He tasted blood at his lip, his tongue licking the edge, as he brushed his hand across, looking then at the smear upon his knuckles. A touch at his shoulder and a hand at his elbow startled him. He turned his head to see Grace trying to lift him to stand, her eyes locked onto Thor, a sneer on her face.

"A woman to help the fallen warrior to his feet. Shall I regale you with a tale or two about your charge, M'lady?"

It was under her breath, low enough that the others couldn't hear but the two of them, Thor bent over, watching her.

"Fuck you,"

Thor stood up again, "I see, not a woman, a common whore."

Loki had regained his feet then, he pushed Grace behind him, hearing her protest, ignoring it.

"Thor, leave the grounds of this school as Miss Munroe has requested." he glanced behind him at Grace who now had her hands on her hips watching them, Kurt joining her, his lips pulled back in a snarl. "And apologize to the lady."

Thor's face seemed to drop in exhaustion and Loki's heart skipped again in memory of the brothers they had once been.

"I am sorry, forgive me." he bowed, his hammer now limp at his side. "Loki, you must return with me. The High Council is enraged at you for stealing away like you did."

"Sarah took me from Asgard, I was too sick to do much else, not to mention escaping. I daresay I couldn't have walked much less run."

"Nevertheless, you must answer for it or risk remaining here on Earth in exile."

Loki said nothing more. Thor looked about the courtyard at the students and teachers still standing, murmuring and then back to Loki.

"I am sorry brother, you will miss the opportunity to be with Sarah, if the High Council allowed it, you might possibly be able to stay here on Earth with her."

Loki shook his head, "I would be afforded that opportunity only to lose it when Fury ordered me locked up himself. I cannot win, Thor."

Thor hefted his hammer over his shoulder and with one more look around him, rose into the sky.

Loki kept his gaze straight ahead until he knew his brother had gone too far for him to see, then he knelt to the ground, palms flat on the hot asphalt, eyes closed, felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Kurt's golden eyes staring back down at him. "Do you pray?"


	3. Chapter 3

It took the better part of the morning to restore order to the students, better being a relative word with Loki as he sat in Ororo's office waiting for her to return and talk to him. He felt sick, angry, ashamed. Thor's accusations had likely cut through the threads of any trust or empathy that he had received upon his arrival. Kurt had walked him to the office where he had pulled out a set of beads with a gold cross on the end of it, murmuring something in a language he could not understand. Kurt had seen Loki watching him,

"It is a prayer for you, Loki. Perhaps it vill help."

He'd left Loki sitting alone in the office then, and an hour had passed before he heard the handle turn and the door behind him open.

He let them walk around in front of him to stand. Despite his pride, he couldn't bring his eyes up to meet theirs. He kept his gaze at their feet for the time being.

"You want to stay here, right?" Ororo began.

Loki nodded, a quick sad smile passing over his countenance.

"Alright then you can start by being honest with us. Where are you from?"

Loki looked up at Logan and Ororo, "I am from Asgard. I was born Jotun, adopted by Odin and raised as brother to Thor."

"So what, he's a god?" Logan glanced at Ororo.

"Is what Fury told me true?"

Loki shrugged, "I cannot tell you if I do not know what he said to you."

"Are you responsible for the attack on New York last summer?"

Loki closed his eyes, knowing any explanation would be useless. He swallowed, gave an imperceptible nod, waited in the tense silence that followed.

"Who is Sarah?"

"She is an agent with S.H.I.E.L.D." He had balled his hands into fists in his lap.

"How is she associated with you?" Ororo had begun to pace back and forth in front of him.

"We became lovers during her employment when I was placed in her care. Fury refused to let us see one another and so sent her on a different assignment. I followed her, was captured, brought to Asgard and punished. From there, she brought me back to Earth where we tried to hide from detection at a friend's house, Mister Stewart's in Maine. When we found we could not, we left. From there we stopped at a truck stop, I managed to get a ride from a trucker because I did not want her in harms way any longer and so left her there. That is everything in its entirety."

He couldn't bear to talk about the pregnancy, the thought of her alone without him there to help her making him half mad. He looked up at Ororo and Logan who now had their heads together talking to each other and all at once he was on his feet.

"I wish to redeem myself."

Ororo stopped talking to Logan and stared at Loki, "How do you expect to accomplish that?"

"With guidance, time?" he had his hands atop his head now, and he bent at the waist, suddenly overwhelmed, "I will do what you wish, I am weary to death trying to resolve such a jaded past. I must find a way to be with Sarah and if I am to be remanded to your care, I will use the opportunity to show myself worthy of her."

Logan stared hard at him, "We none of us here are exempt from damn foolish things we've done in our past but you seem to have a laundry list of trouble. I say it's just about impossible for you to wipe away that much ink."

Ororo held up a hand, "I can't say that I don't take stock in Logan's assessment, however, even the most misled of us has found a way back from darkness. A lot of people, teachers, saw what happened today, there will be that mountain to climb. You have expressed a desire to make yourself useful here, you'll have that chance too, but I expect respect and compliance with our rules. The students will learn as much from your actions as you will learn from theirs. As I told you yesterday, the students and my friends are my biggest concern. I'm going to call Fury again to speak to him about the intrusion today and explain what I consider hostile intent, Logan will you see him out. He's supposed to be shown around by Gracie...damnit...Grace, today."

Logan smiled broadly, "See, it's hard not to call her Gracie, told ya." He waved a hand in the direction of the door, "Come on, we'll see if Gracie is in any state to show you around."

They found Grace in the courtyard with a tall muscular young man, light brown hair in a short buzz, dressed in jogging pants and a v-neck t-shirt that looked about to burst. Beside him was a young woman with long brown hair in a similar set of clothes. They were all standing around the gaping crack in the pavement.

"So the guy just up and slammed the big hammer on the ground? It figures I miss all the fun."

Grace was writing something on her ever present clipboard, "Kitty it wasn't fun, trust me. That guy was scary. Hot but scary.."

"See," Kitty frowned, "I do miss all the fun."

Logan walked up behind Grace and whispered in her ear, "Oh Gracie."

She started forward, losing her grip on the clipboard as it clattered to the ground and Loki bent to retrieve it. As he handed it back to her, he watched her eyes cloud over when they met his own.

"Maybe I didn't miss it entirely." Kitty whispered to Piotr.

"Ororo has returned the new guy to you, Gracie."

"Why me? If anyone should take care of him, it's you right now." She kept Logan's gaze, refusing to meet Loki's again.

"You're the house mother and I've got a class to teach don't I?" As Logan turned and trotted back towards the mansion, she heard a snort of laughter.

"That was the whole point,"She squeezed her eyes shut, opened them and turned to Kitty and Piotr, "I've got to get going." Then to Loki, "Come on, we're going to be late for the self defense class. That is still the plan right? Ororo didn't mention any changes?"

Loki shook his head, "She said nothing to me."

Grace grunted, "Follow me then."

They arrived at the gymnasium a few minutes after the Self Defense as an Option class had started and Loki was surprised to see Logan standing at the front facing a large group of students and a few adults dressed in gis on a large matted square in the middle of the floor.

"What are the three A's of self defense?" Logan called out to the group, waiting for a response, winking at Grace as he saw them settle in the bleachers.

He pointed at one small blond girl in the front row. "Allison, three A's."

She looked up at the ceiling and down at the floor, "Attitude...Awareness?" She hesitated longer then. Logan pointed to another student, a boy with black hair and black eyes. "Jonah?"

"Action."

Logan nodded, "The correct attitude is the single biggest attribute you must possess in order to keep yourself out of needless trouble. In other words, don't go looking for trouble because you might find it." He noticed students in the middle and towards the back rows pointing and whispering and he rolled his eyes.

"Okay guys, I don't think we're going to get any learning done today until I introduce you to my newest assistant." Logan motioned at Loki and at first he kept his seat mouthing the word "No".

Logan glared at him and pointed to the spot on the mat beside him.

Loki heard Grace next to him, "He can't make that decision on his own." gasping as Loki stood and trotted down the stairs to the mat.

Thirty pairs of eyes returned his stare. In the rear of the group he noticed the two girls who had first led him to Ororo's office, Shayna and Marly. Shayna had Marly's arm in a death grip, her mouth open in a silent scream. Loki caught her eyes and smiled, trying not to laugh as she started to shake poor Marly like a rag doll. He looked over his shoulder at Grace with that same smile but immediately dialed it down when he saw her glaring at him.

"This is Loki, he's going to be my whipping boy." Logan laughed along with the students, and clapped Loki hard on the back, "No, really he's going to be my assistant. It might take a little while to get him into a routine so you more experienced members take it easy, wouldn't want to break him." He nudged Loki, "We were working on how to escape an attacker from the rear, ya think you could pair off with someone and practice a little?"

Loki looked down at his pants and button down shirt, "I am poorly dressed for it."

"Just unbutton your shirt a bit and roll up your sleeves, I'm not asking you to do a whole routine." Logan turned and waved at Grace who by now was writing on her clipboard at a furious pace, looking up, writing again.

"Okay, class, Loki is going to come at me from behind and put his arms around my waist and I'm going to show you two options again. Does anyone remember what they were?"

Hands rose in the group and Logan put up a hand, "Okay, alright, you'll get a chance to prove it." He nodded to Loki who sighed and walked up behind Logan, wrapping his arms around his waist, noticing that the difference in their height was less extreme than he'd thought.

"Okay, the bad guy has got his arms around you, got some nice heels on?" He lifted his left foot and put it against Loki's shin, sliding it down his leg to rest on his foot. "You drag that shoe down hard and plant that spike heel in the top of his foot, and there's a real good chance he's going to loosen his grip unless he's got steel toed boots on. In that case." Logan twisted around in Loki's arms, bending his elbow and bringing it around to rest at Loki's jawline. "You'd do it a whole lot faster than I did but we don't want to have to get a new instructor on the first day."

He broke away from Loki and came up behind him. "I'm going to do the same thing to you, let's see if you know what you're doing. Don't forget to pull punches, we don't want a fatality."

Loki mimicked Logan's actions, his only mistake being bringing his foot down harder on top of Logan's as he began to lose his balance.

"Let's hope you're a better dancer or your partner is going to have sore feet." Logan waved to the students, "Okay let's pair off and try those moves half a dozen times. Whoever doesn't have a partner come up here to me."

He glanced up into the bleachers at Grace and grinned to himself, "Grace, come down here and be Loki's dance partner will you?"

He chuckled as Grace's head shot up with a dazed expression on her face.

"Come on, we're uneven." He turned back to Loki who was staring at him. "I'm the instructor, I gotta make sure everyone is doing it right."

Logan realized that Grace hadn't moved from the bleachers and he made for her, she rising before he got halfway there and coming down the stairs to stand next to Loki.

"I'm too short." She crossed her arms, the clipboard absent from her hands for only the second time since Loki had met her.

"Nonsense, class, what do I always say?"

In unison the class shouted, "Size doesn't matter!" Logan observed a couple of the adults in the class giggling and he waggled his finger at them.

In truth, she was only a head shorter than Loki but the difference was enough to make her uncomfortable. She gingerly brought her hands around his waist, her hands had begun to sweat in her gloves. She leaned as far from him as she could without pulling him backwards, catching the scent of his body, feeling him tense beneath her arms.

"Okay class, all together, Awwww!" The group erupted into gales of laughter and Grace made a mental note to herself, the next time she encountered Logan alone, to kick him square in the balls, rules be damned.

"So go ahead and try the moves, or are you quite comfortable?" He watched the students as they practiced and brought his attention back to Loki and Grace who had parted and were now watching the students. He made a twirling motion with his finger, "The woman is usually the victim, put your arms around her waist. Gracie..you try to break out of the hold."

"GRACE!" She shouted, her voice echoing across the gymnasium, bringing her elbow around as she'd seen Loki do but not quite able to stop herself, knocking him in the jaw before she dropped her arm down and winced.

"I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to hurt you." She cried, spinning around.

"No harm done." Loki wiggled his jaw with his hand and she noticed the split at his lip that Thor had given him had started to bleed again.

"Come on, let's get that taken care of." Grace walked away from him to fetch her clipboard.

"Well, do you think you could do this every other day?" Logan poked his arm.

"I could, perhaps I might teach you something as well."

Logan nodded, "We'll see won't we."

Grace handed him a washcloth from the large linen cabinet down the hall from his room and stood in the bedroom waiting for him as he cleaned the cut in the bathroom, the silence irritating to her ears. She sighed, sat on the bed,

"Is it true?"

Loki walked back into the bedroom, buttoning his sleeves, "Is what true?"

Grace looked up at him, "All of it, Asgard? The gods, you being a wanted man?"

Loki said nothing, tucked the tail of his shirt into his pants.

"And this woman, Sarah? Thor said you could be with her if you returned.."

"Do not speak of her." He growled, shook his head, frustrated, his hand at his forehead, "it pains me greatly."

Grace sat there, a stunned look on her face until he groaned and sat down in one of the easy chairs, "I have made many poor decisions in my time here on Midgard,"

"Midgard."

"Earth if you will, I fell in love with a Midgardian, I thought that we could be together in peace but Fury would not have it, even underneath his all seeing gaze. I have ruined two lives, hers and mine in my impulses, my confounding need for affection, my short sightedness."

Grace wanted to go to him, touch his shoulder and reassure him but she forced herself to stay seated on the bed. "Love will find a way, it always does."

Loki stared into the empty fireplace, "Forgive me if I do not share your optimism. I have seen many winters, many cold lonely nights with nothing save the braziers for warmth. Never had I had anything close approximating companionship like I had with Sarah. I belong nowhere now, with no one."

"You can belong here if you try." Grace stood from the bed suddenly ill at ease, her heart starting to pound.

"If nothing else, I feel as if I am at the very least, among my own kind here. We shall see."

He heard the click of the door as it shut, slow. His heart had started to pound in unison with hers and he'd only felt the thoughts closest to the surface of her mind. He would have to endeavor never again to try and read her, it was as if a connection was being forged each time he had done so. He stood from the easy chair, straightened his clothes and decided to head to the hall for lunch, he found he was actually hungry.


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken almost two weeks but he'd finally fallen into a routine. Self Defense class with Logan Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tuesday he would sit and watch Kurt's fencing class. He considered asking to spar with him once or twice but hadn't worked up the nerve as of yet. After class, he and Kurt would have lunch together and talk, then return to the room where he held fencing class and Kurt would practice while they talked some more. Despite his theological views, they were becoming fast friends, even sitting together at the staff table at dinner time, their discussions often letting their food grow cold.

Evenings were hardest for him, not the early hours where he would find the students in the common room watching a movie or TV and he would occasionally stand at the back of the room and watch in fascination, and at other times, disgust at the shows they loved and followed. Kurt had patted him on the shoulder when he expressed his disdain for one show in particular. "Dey are called reality shows, and dey are anything but. Der children love dem though."

The hardest times were the late nights, the times when he had nothing to occupy his mind save the thoughts of Sarah. Thor had returned and told her where he was, as he said he would, and after feeling hurt and confused, he'd felt from her, acceptance, resignation. He made every effort not to let his mind stray to hers as he often found Thor trying to cheer her up, give her words of wisdom and he would fall into a fitful sleep, dreaming of Sarah, Thor poised above her in the heat of passion, wake up in a hard sweat, rage keeping his eyes open until dawn.

October started out cold and rainy, Kurt sat in one of the easy chairs in Loki's room, Loki on the couch opposite him. "I would ask for firewood to be brought up, Loki. Das is what der fireplace is for, is it not? It wards off der chill in my rooms."

"I do not mind the cold as much." He had been a bit colder than usual lately but was reluctant to give in and bring warmth into the rooms.

"Vich brings me to something that has been on my mind since vee met. You asked if I was Jotun, you mean from Jotunheim, ja?"

Loki looked up at Kurt, "Yes, how do you know of it?"

Kurt shrugged, "I read. I am a student of theology. I have studied mythology as well. Why did you ask if I vas Jotun?"

Loki sat back on the couch, considering his next action. "I was born on Jotunheim."

Kurt tapped the small bible in his lap, "Dat is what I hear."

Loki closed his eyes, allowing his temperature to drop, the warmth draining from his skin, could feel the change overtake him. He opened his eyes again and could see by Kurt's expression that he finally understood. Now it was Kurt's turn to sit forward. He took Loki's hand in his, "Cold,"

"Frost giant." Loki replied,

"Ja," Kurt nodded, "Your eyes, dey are red,"

Kurt touched his face, "Those markings, you make dem yourself?"

"No, I was born like this, your markings were made?"

Kurt smiled, "Ja, dey are angelic symbols. I vonder what meanings yours have."

Loki glanced again at the fireplace and all at once, wished he did have a fire to dispell the gloom of the weather. "I do not know what they mean. I have not the desire to find out."

"Why do you hide your true nature?" Kurt had set back in the chair and was staring out the window to his right at the rain soaked landscape.

"I am more comfortable in my Asgardian form, I was an abomination of my people, too small for a frost giant, a weakling." Loki had also set back in the chair, he closed his eyes.

"But you are not veak, far from it," Kurt paused, reconsidered his tack, "However, I vould hide myself if I had der ability. I understand, Loki." he chuckled, "Den ve are brothers under der skin, Ja?"

Loki looked over at Kurt and smiled, "Ja."

Logan and Ororo sat at one of the empty tables in the great hall. Ororo took a sip of her green tea, ran her finger along the rim of the old mug. She'd had it for years, a little china cup with yellow roses around the edge and a matching saucer. "So what's the verdict?"

Logan took a swig of the beer in his hand, "We've almost doubled the class size, we might have to split it into two classes. I don't think he can train them alone. He ain't state certified and it's one thing to know self defense, it's another thing to teach it. He'd have to take a written exam, demonstrate his knowledge of the subject. It'd just be easier to split the classes into different times."

Ororo clasped the cup between her hands, "Doubled the size of the class? How did that happen?" She hid a smile as she took another sip.

"Ya got me, everyone wants to see the new guy I guess. They'll get bored with him."

"Logan, I sense the green eyed monster is upon you."

Logan snorted, rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I'm envious of him, he's too thin, too tall, too serious."

"Handsome, charismatic, nice smile." Ororo added.

"Yeah all of that. Ya know it's nice to have you on my side."

"Oh Logan," She gave him a playful shove, "Is he living up to expectations, that's all I want to know."

Logan took another draught of beer, belched, "Yeah, he's doing fine, he knows how to pull punches, he sets up fine, he knows how to fall, to land. That is what you were asking about right?"

Ororo waggled her hand, "Sort of, is he mixing well with the students and the adults? Are they accepting him?"

Logan nodded, "Yeah, I'd like to go so far as to say he don't act a lot like who he says he is, I mean a god? I think he gives them a bad name."

Ororo laughed then, "Oh come on, if he was that bad, you'd have kicked him out of class the first week. There must be something you like about him."

"Well he brings the babes, I suppose. He's too quiet though, makes you think he's up to something."

"Right, forgot men and their one track mind. I see he's been hanging around Kurt a lot."

Logan reached down to the floor beside him and pulled another beer from the carton at his feet, popped the top off it, " Yeah, I just hope all that pious righteousness doesn't rub off on him. I'd like to hide his bible sometimes, he's a study in contradictions that one, goddamn, don't get me started."

"Slow down on the beer, we have that faculty meeting tonight. Why don't you go fetch Loki, he's your assistant."

Logan frowned, downed the beer in his hand in one swallow, reached down and picked up the carton, "It's a Friday, these meetings are throwing a wrench in the party works."

Ororo stood with him, "Oh you can spare an hour or two out of your Friday can't you? I'm going to get the handouts printed. I'll see you in about an hour?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Logan had gone to the kitchen and put the remaining four beers back in the staff refrigerator and was now on his way to Loki's room. As he made the top landing of the main stairs, he saw Grace talking to a small group of students, her voice sounded angry. "I just don't understand how you could go and do such a thing to poor Shayna. You are all of you supposed to present a united body of students, supporting each other, understanding each others special talents."

One young brunette with sunglasses on spoke up, "She was acting like she was better than all of us. Isn't that wrong too?"

"Two wrongs don't make a right," Logan said as he sidled up beside Grace, "Tell me this ain't about Loki."

The brunette looked at the other two students with her, "Well she said he was with her the whole class yesterday and we started picking on her because she's got a crush on him but she was all "he says i'm the best student and I learn quickly."

Grace shook her head, "You're going to apologize to Shayna, all of you tomorrow. Now you're to stay in your dorm rooms for the rest of the evening, no community room, no snack time. Go on."

The four students left grumbling down the hallway, Grace pushed her hair back from her face and sighed heavily, "Okay what did you need?"

"The faculty meeting is in about an hour, I just wanted to remind you. I gotta go find the god."

Grace gave a short laugh, "A crush, can you believe it? Shayna has a crush on him. He should probably have a talk with her."

They walked down the hall towards the second floor stairs, "What are ya trying to believe, the crush or Shayna?"

"The crush, she's almost fifteen. Isn't it time to grow up?"

Logan smiled to himself, only hesitating a second, "She's fifteen, she's not dead. Come on Gracie."

"What?"

They were standing at Loki's door and he knocked, "Well wouldn't you have a crush on him if you were fifteen?"

The door opened. Loki was standing there in jeans, his shirt unbuttoned, a book in his hand, "Logan, uh, Grace, sorry." He stepped away from the door, "Come on in." He tossed his book on the bed and started to button up his shirt.

"Well?" Logan elbowed her, relishing the look on her face at that moment, a mixture of embarrassment coupled with a good helping of murderous intent.

"Well what?" Loki turned to them.

"I was talking to Grace about crushes, seems Shayna has one on you and Grace thinks it's silly."

Loki canted his head to the right, "A crush, I have never heard of this thing you speak of. Explain to me please so that I may understand."

Grace's face had flushed bright red and Logan watched as she struggled to define the word in a way that wouldn't lead her into another tricky path.

"A crush is when a young girl, well I suppose the girl doesn't always have to be young, I mean."

Logan caught Loki's glance at him and shrugged, his face a mask of innocence.

"Grace isn't eloquent like you, Loki. She's trying to say that Shayna likes you."

Loki narrowed his eyes at Logan, "Still not following you."

"Jesus, she likes you a lot, like boyfriend and girlfriend." Grace cried, slapping her forehead.

"Yeah and I said to Grace, wouldn't she have a crush on you if she were fifteen? She didn't answer me yet but I'm sure she will."

She stared at Logan, "I don't get crushes. They're for teenagers."

"Right and that's what I said, if you were fifteen would you have a crush on Loki." Logan grinned at her.

"We have a faculty meeting in half an hour, Loki, you're to attend it. That's what Logan came here to tell you now I have to get downstairs and help Ororo...Miss Munroe...we'll talk about the crush thing later."

She turned around to see that Logan had slipped out the door while she was fumbling with her words. She brandished her pencil like a spear and stabbed the air a couple of times.

"Grace, are you well?" Loki had leaned around her and was staring at the pencil as she shoved it in the holder at the top of her clipboard.

"I want to kill him but it's against the law..." she muttered, heading for the door.

"You did not answer my question, what is a crush?"

Grace looked over her shoulder, "Yes I did, a crush is when someone likes someone else a lot. More than just friends, do you get it now?"

Loki nodded slowly at first then more vigorously, "I understand, and Logan was asking if you would have a crush on me were you young?"

Grace winced, "That's what he was asking." She was half in the hallway and in the room.

Loki was right behind her as they both stood in the hallway, "Would you?"

"Would I what?" Grace hoped that perhaps Loki would give up but he kept stride with her down the hallway.

"Would you have a crush on me?"

Grace couldn't help thinking that he was teasing her, she kept watching him from the corner of her vision, "I don't know, I'm not a teenager," She was starting to get a headache, any answer she would give him was going to sound wrong,

"I see, you do not like me then." Loki sounded disappointed and Grace realized that he still wasn't getting the interpretation.

"Yes I like you, as a friend, okay,"

"Forgive me, I have trouble with Midgardian words, perhaps I should carry a notebook as you carry that board and write down each new word."

Grace and Loki reached the great hall and stopped outside the doors, "Okay in the simplest terms I can manage, a crush is when someone is in love with you, but it's more like infatuation, it's not serious love like a relationship. Any better?"

Loki looked away then, "I sorely misunderstood you. I am sorry, I understand now."

Grace took a deep breath and blew it out, "Thank god, now I've got to go help Miss Munroe. I'll see you at the meeting."

She left Loki outside the great hall. He watched her walk away, feeling that now familiar pounding of his heart. He was rapidly becoming confused, he tried to turn his thoughts to Sarah and found it took more effort every time as her mind drifted away from his, the bond unable to be nurtured from such a distance. The longer he stayed here at the school, the farther away his previous life was fading. He needed to focus on the role he would soon fulfill, that of a father, though in what capacity he was unsure, and he had to see Sarah, or talk to her in the very least, but first and foremost, he had to stop thinking about Grace.

Kurt sat beside Loki, Logan on the other side of him, Grace across the table from him. He held onto the water bottle before him like a life raft, his eyes fixed to a point, mind far away.

Kurt glanced at him, "Loki, der meeting is about to start, why don't you join us?"

Loki turned to him, his reaction slow as if he'd heard him from a dream, "I am here."

Ororo was standing at the head of the long table talking about student activities for October.

"The first school dance of the year is next week, the sheet is going around the table to sign up as chaperones, if it comes back short, I'm going to start picking names. We also need people to help set up before hand. The calendar handout is pretty full as you'll notice. Along with the usual activities, football and soccer, reading club and so forth, we have fireside ghost story nights each Thursday in the common room. The drama club has been working on "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" for the past couple months and the play is going to be," She looked down at her sheet, "The week before Halloween. We also have the annual Halloween party, we're going to be carving pumpkins a few nights before and setting up the great hall with activities, a haunted hallway, and games, and that sheet is also going around for sign ups. Now don't forget, these children are far from home, they rely on us to be their family. Let's help them out, especially the new students. We've had the biggest enrollment jump this semester in five years. Twenty-five new students, I don't know whether we've simply started to expand through word of mouth or the genetic makeup of the world is changing but we have new lives to help mold."

Loki looked down at the sheet before him and then at Kurt, "What should I do?"

"Sign up for things. Be a chaperone at der dance and I vill join you. Vee shall keep dese kinder in line."

Loki sighed, took the pen being passed with the paper and signed his name. Kurt encouraged him to sign up for the Halloween party as well though at that point he turned to Kurt and said, "I do not know what this Halloween is about."

"I vill explain it to you after der meeting,"

As Ororo was speaking again, Loki stole a glance across the table at Grace who was watching Ororo, her gloved hands folded under her chin. She was chewing her bottom lip, a stray strand of hair had fallen down the side of her face in a curl against her strong jawline, her brown eyes catching the light from the overhead lamps, turning them dark gold. He was suddenly jarred by a poke in his side and he looked over at Logan.

"You payin' attention?" He whispered, "To the right woman I mean?"

"I am, for pity's sake." He turned to face Ororo for another couple minutes, then stole a sideways glance at Grace again and found her staring back at him. He gave her a shy smile and turned away again, not moving until the meeting was adjourned.

Loki stood up, stretched and felt Kurt's hand on his arm. "I am feeling peckish, come to der kitchen mitt me and I vill explain this Halloween."

Logan interjected himself between the two of them, "And he'd be the one to do it, Kurt wears his costume all year round, Ah hey, Jesus!"

Kurt nodded, "And that's for taking der Lord's name in vain too." he smiled at Loki, "Dis tail comes in pretty handy sometimes." he whipped it around again, narrowly missing Logan who made a grab at it.

"One of these days I'm going to catch it and cut it off, pal."

Kurt chuckled, "And von day you're going to get some manners, mein friend."

Kurt set the cake plate on the end of the large island where Loki was sitting. He handed him a plate and fork and began to slice into the black forest cake on top of the stand. "Halloween is a pagan holiday. It vas started with der ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming spirits. Eventually it evolved into vat we have now, der children trick or treating, der wearing of costumes which came from superstition that the ghosts vould not recognize dem as people and thus leave dem be, der carving of Jack o' Lanterns from the tradition of spirit lights. On All Hallow's eve, dey vould place food on their doorsteps to appease der spirits and prevent dem from entering der house."

Kurt caught Loki's look of confusion and sighed, "It is easier to understand when you read about it. I vill find a book for you in der library tonight."

Loki took a forkful of cake, "There are many things I wish to learn. I appreciate your help, Kurt."

Kurt nodded, "My pleasure, mein friend. Bitte schoen."

They ate in silence for a few minutes then Kurt cleared his throat, "I see you staring at Miss Archer in der meeting. Dere is something going on between you?"

Loki started and sat up from the table, "Not at all, I was simply looking at her."

He cringed inwardly, it sounded so defensive.

Kurt nodded, "Forgive me, I did not mean to upset you." he picked up the napkin at the side of his plate and wiped his mouth with it, "She is very pretty though, Ja?" He waited, looked at Loki who was staring down at his plate, finally he answered himself, "Ja,"

Loki seemed ready to say something but his demeanor suddenly changed as quickly as the weather. He stood from the island, "Come show me that book you were talking about."


	5. Chapter 5

For three days, Shayna had been absent from class and when she finally returned the day before the dance, she looked pale and drawn. When they began to practice straight jabs, Loki watched her falter again and again as she aimed for Marly's outstretched hand.

He glanced at Logan across the room and then at Shayna. Logan shrugged and mouthed, "Go talk to her." He excused himself from the student, a young boy, that he'd been helping and made his way towards Shayna and Marly. Marly saw him coming first and her eyes began to widen. Shayna took immediate notice and turned around just as Loki reached them.

"Marly, will you please go and practice with Adam? I have noticed that Shayna needs a little help."

Marly nodded, gave Shayna one more look, and trotted to the front of the class where Adam was standing, rolling his eyes as he say the direction she was heading in.

"Shayna, you aren't in the ready stance, turn your back foot outward a bit more, relax your knees, do not lock them. The more rigid you are, the more your opponent will use it against you."

Shayna leaned back a bit on her foot, bent her knees slightly but kept her eyes at the floor.

"Now when you make that jab, you must keep your thumb on the outside of your fist or you risk breaking it with your strike. Do not over extend your arm, give it a little leeway to bend, and let the people on the second floor hear you when you yell. You must intimidate your enemy, make them believe you are braver than you may seem."

He took her hand and formed the fist for her, felt her trembling. He stood upright and bit his lip, sighed. "Shayna?"

She couldn't hold it in any longer and burst into tears, trying hard to stop herself only made it more obvious and after a few seconds, he put a hand on her shoulder and guided her to the other side of the gym, sitting her down on the bottom row of bleachers and taking a seat beside her.

"There is no need to cry. You will learn what to do in time." Loki caught Logan's eye but he simply nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

"I know what to do, it's not that." She gave a hiccuping sigh, "I'm so embarrassed. I can't seem to shut my big mouth when I should. I told my friends that you said I was a quick learner and that you were always helping me."

Loki nodded, "You are a quick learner, you have the heart of a lioness."

Shayna smiled through her tears, "I also have the yellow stripe of a coward."

He reached over and patted her hand, "Trust me, you are not a coward."

"When my friends started to pick on me, I got so sick I couldn't come to class because I was scared they would pick on me again."

"Well then they are not your friends, am I correct?" he hesitated, trying to think of a way to broach the subject she was so obviously tiptoeing around, "Is this what Miss Archer spoke to the students about last week?"

Shayna stared at him wide eyed, her face red as her hair and he felt the heat start to build off of her, "Shayna, control yourself. Take deep breaths."

She closed her eyes, drew in a big breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth slowly. Another one and her color was beginning to pale. Finally she nodded, "Don't tell me that you know what they said."

"I am flattered, Shayna, trust me. You are a beautiful young lady and you deserve a beautiful young man. I, however, am old, and taken."

"You're not old, Mister Laufeyson."

He shook his head, if she only knew, "I am older than you think. Now we must be brave again, show our enemies our strong front, never our weak backs, even if we are afraid, we must never let them know it."

Her color had returned to normal, her tears were beginning to dry up, "So you're not mad then?"

Loki chuckled, "I am not mad at all, are we still friends?"

Shayna nodded and gave him a small smile, "Then shall we return to class and learn the proper way to face an enemy?"

As the students filed out of the gymnasium, Logan ambled up to Loki who was untying the sash of his gi.

"Nice form back there. You're not careful and Ororo will recruit you as a guidance counselor."

Loki tilted his head, "Guidance.."

"Never mind, geez, you chaperoning that sordid affair tonight?"

"The dance? Yes, did you not sign up?" He headed towards the locker rooms, Logan following behind.

"Nope, Friday nights are my own, Ororo knows that. Who else signed up?"

Kurt, Ororo of course, Miss Pryde, Mister Summers.."

"Oh sounds like a blast, carry on without me will you?"

Loki shook his head as he opened his locker and drew out the button down shirt and pants he'd worn to class. Logan opened his own locker and pulled down a towel from the top shelf. "What about Miss Archer? She didn't sign up? She usually loves that shit, like a mother hen."

"I did not see her name unless she signed up after me."

Logan eyed him and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Have you ever used a contraction in your life? You sound like a Charles Dickens novel, I am, I shall, you are...try don't...go on."

"I speak properly, I have had this conversation before with my friend Thomas. He told me I spoke as if I was to dinner with the Queen of England."

Logan laughed, "And he was right. Why don't you try to interject one new word a week into that vocabulary of yours, I'd have you talking like a sailor within a week. Come on, one word, don't."

Loki buttoned the last button, "Logan,"

"Don't.."

He groaned but a ghost of a grin played at his lips, "Don't...is that what you must hear from me?"

Logan nodded, "It's a start."

Loki had chosen a plain green t-shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans that morning and laid it out on his bed before he'd left for class. Kurt had told him that the dance would be casual dress, then had proceeded to tell him patiently what that meant. He had returned to his room after class, showered, dressed and eaten dinner and was now standing outside Kurt's door waiting for him to unlock it.

The door swung open and Kurt waved his hand with a flourish, "Come in, I vill be but a minute. I vas looking over der syllabus for next semester. Ororo asked me to take over der German class as Professor Heidorf is getting married and moving away. I am nervous about it but I enjoy a challenge. Fencing is much easier dan teaching someone to speak as you have all your life."

Loki sat down in one of Kurt's easy chairs and noticed that he had a glowing fire in the fireplace.

"You are smart, Kurt. What have you to fear?"

"Failure, just like everyone else." He grabbed his long brown leather jacket from his bed, "Now to play keeper to the insanity dat are teenagers."

The gymnasium was humming with voices, the music not yet started. Loki followed Kurt up to Ororo who was standing at the table where the DJ had set up. Teenagers milled around, teasing, talking, shouting, laughing and waiting for the fun to begin.

"You missed my little speech guys. I told the students to behave and have fun. I threatened them with essays. Scott's good at handing them out."

Scott gave Loki and Kurt a nod, "I have a couple subjects all lined up for them too."

"Sorry I'm late."

Loki glanced at Kurt, knowing he was watching him as Grace jogged up to the table. She had on a red v-neck t-shirt, a black broomstick skirt with velvet edging at the hem and a pair of black flats. Her short hair was done up off her neck in a vague reminder of the way Sarah wore hers. He fought the urge to search for Sarah in his mind. Grace saw Loki, nodded then turned to Ororo and began to talk to her.

Kurt led Loki across the dance floor to the bleachers which were beginning to fill with teenagers. As they reached the bottom bleacher, the large overhead lights went out, replaced by the light show on the bars raised above the DJ's table and loud pulsing music filled the gymnasium.

"Loki, it is not so bad," Kurt had seen Loki's face as the music started, "I rather like some of dere music. It has a beat, and you can dance to it." Kurt was tapping his foot in time with the current song.

"I am not used to such noise."

Kurt laughed, leaned over, "Now you are sounding like a teacher."

The crowd moved and cliques formed, girls running, squealing, talking to the boys, the boys watching the girls, dancing together. Kurt had to warn a few couples who'd found the shadows a chance to make out, Loki saw Scott following a couple of boys out of the gym, his hands on their shoulders. Ororo was leaning on the wall near the gym entrance talking with Grace.

"Come on, vee should mingle a bit. Make sure der kinder know vee are still here." Kurt pulled Loki to his feet and they started to walk through the sea of teenagers, Kurt dancing a bit as he glided across the floor. Loki shook his head, all at once hearing a chorus of voices yell, "Hi Mister Laufeyson!"

He saw Shayna, Marly, Adam and a shy younger student by the name of Reese waving and running towards him, sliding to a stop before him in their socks on the polished floor.

"Come on and dance, Mister Laufeyson!" Loki looked up to find he'd lost sight of Kurt and he tried to stifle a sense of panic as Marly and Shayna grabbed his arms, pulling him deeper into the dance floor.

"Thriller" had just started to play when Ororo nudged Grace, "Do you see who's out there on the floor?"

Grace scanned the crowd until she found the head of a man taller than most of the crowd, "Oh god, he's been kidnapped, literally."

Kurt danced up to them from their left, "Ladies, how are vee doing tonight?"

"I'd say better than Loki is." Ororo cocked her head towards the dance floor.

Kurt spun around, saw Loki, "Mein Gott, vee got separated!"

Grace rolled her eyes, "I'll rescue him,"

Another song had started as she made her way through the groups of teenagers, keeping an eye on Loki's position. "At least he's got rhythm." she thought to herself. She got within a couple feet, trying to maneuver around the teens surrounding him, finally reaching for his arm, and standing on tiptoe,

"Loki," She yelled in his ear, "Come on, you poor thing."

Loki felt her take his arm, and he heard Shayna and Marly whine, "Aw Miss Archer, we were teaching him to dance."

"And probably scaring the hell out of him!" she shouted above the music. She kept her hold on his arm and guided him through the sea of kids to the wall where Kurt and Ororo stood, Ororo with a smile, Kurt visibly worried,

"Loki, mein freund, I am sorry, I did not know you had been curtailed."

Loki gave Kurt a lopsided smile, "I survived the ordeal." then he turned to Grace, "Though I appreciate the rescue."

Grace shrugged, "It was a toss up, honestly. I was torn between leaving you out there and watching you flounder, or joining you and showing you up, amateur."

Loki laughed, "I am indeed an amateur. You would have had no trouble."

They leaned at the wall, chatting, listening to the music and Loki was about to lean over and ask Grace again about her gloves which he'd noticed were red tonight to match her shirt when another pack of students ran over to her, "Come on, do the Cupid Shuffle with us, Miss Archer!"

Grace protested at first, digging in her heels until she was already in the midst of the group. She shook her head and started to dance in a line with the kids.

He stared at her, the way she moved, her hair coming unpinned as she held her skirt up out of her way, her face becoming flushed with exertion, smiling, a sheen of perspiration across her forehead. He was starting to feel, heady, dizzy, unsure if it was the music, he shook his head, it had to be the music.

The teenagers convinced her to stay for another song and at one point she looked at Loki and crooked her finger at him, to which he mouthed "Never", she throwing her hands at him in mock disgust.

After the second song, she had to bow out and returned to the wall, slumping down the side to sit cross legged on the floor, panting. "That's a workout right there. I gotta get a drink."

"What do you wish?" Loki asked, standing over her.

"Oh I'll get it," She struggled, attempting to get up.

"Stay here, Grace, I shall get it. What do you wish?"

"Water is all,"

They watched Loki head for the gym doors, and returned their attention to the floor again, for a few moments until Kurt caught Ororo's eyes over Grace who was still sitting on the floor. He looked at Grace, then in the direction Loki had gone, then back to Ororo again. Ororo gave him a smile and shook her head. Kurt sighed, he was sure Ororo was missing it, wondered why he seemed to be the only one who hadn't. Whether either of them could see it or not, he was sure Loki was becoming infatuated with Grace.

Loki brought the water bottle to Grace and slid down the wall to sit beside her. "Thanks."

She undid the bottle and drained it by half in one swallow and held it out to him. "Want a drink?"

Loki hesitated, then took a swig, handed it back. They watched the kids enjoying themselves, listening to the music, missing the glances being exchanged by Kurt and Ororo over their heads.

The DJ had started to break down his equipment, Scott, Loki and Grace had volunteered to help carry things to his van and Kurt and Ororo sat on the bleachers watching the last of the teens file out of the gym.

"I think they're just acting like friends,"

"And I see something different. He vatches her like a hawk without knowing he's doing it. He cannot take his eyes off her sometimes. I think I should talk to him about it but den I think it is none of my business."

"I say hold off on saying anything. Don't jump the gun, Kurt. And don't look for things that aren't there."

"Ja, I guess so. I vill say nothing for now."

Ororo patted him on the leg, stood up and wandered over to the DJ's table. Kurt sat there a bit longer, watching Loki watching Grace talk to Ororo, then he sighed and shook his head.


	6. Chapter 6

That following Thursday evening found Kurt and Loki in the easy chairs in front of a small fire in Loki's room. Kurt had shown Loki how to play chess over the ensuing weeks and he'd picked it up quickly, having been possessed of a military bent coming from a family of warriors, in fact he'd gotten good at it. Kurt had suggested they join everyone in the common room for Scary Story night but Loki had been pensive all week and he refused. In the end, Kurt had decided to keep Loki company, perhaps to see what was troubling his friend so.

Kurt watched Loki's face in the firelight, could see that his mind was not entirely on the board before them. In fact Kurt had made a couple easy moves that Loki had failed to encounter.

"Mein freund, tell me about dis woman, Sarah."

Loki's face clouded over, "What is it you would like to know?"

Kurt thought a minute, "Is she pretty?"

Loki glanced into the fire, "Beautiful."

"You said she vas an agent, Ja?"

"She still is."

Kurt watched him poised above the board with the rook in his hand, "Have you tried to call her?"

Loki shook his head, "She now lives with Jane Foster and my brother." his last word was delivered with a growl, "If I were to attempt it, they would not let me speak with her."

"But how do you know if you have not tried?"

Loki tapped his temple with one long finger, "I have seen her thoughts. She does not dwell on me as of late."

"Oh?" Kurt sat forward, looked at his bishop, went to pick it up, hesitated and sat back for a moment to ponder the move again, "Why?"

Loki looked up at Kurt, "My brother takes up her time. He claims pretense that it is..." he stopped, no one in the school knew about Sarah's pregnancy unless Fury had told Ororo but she hadn't indicated that she knew in all the conversations they'd had since then.

"Is vat?"

"He claims to comfort her in my absence, in truth he is become enamored of her."

Kurt nodded slowly, "And vat of her, does she reciprocate his feelings?"

Loki didn't answer immediately and Kurt waited, let him concentrate on the chess piece in his hand.

After a couple of minutes Loki put a hand to his forehead, "I see the turmoil of thoughts in her mind when I try to reach her. She reasons that he is there, he plays kind, caring, loving. She cares about Jane and that holds her back. She thinks of me and it holds her back further, and then she sees him and it is undone yet again."

"I vould not see you in such pain, Mein Freund. Perhaps you could attempt the phone call, even if dey answer the phone, you could simply hang up."

"I would be afraid that if my brother answered the phone, I would not be able to hold my tongue and he would be here in minutes. I will not put the school through that disaster again."

They played in silence for awhile and then Kurt tried a different tack.

"What of Miss Archer?"

"What of her?"

Loki had quickly become agitated, Kurt could see it.

"You say Sarah's thoughts do not dwell on you, do your thoughts dwell on another?"

"No," Loki hovered over the board, making another simple move that Kurt easily countered.

"You seem to seek her company quite often."

"We are friends just as you and I. I seek your company most days but it does not mean I wish to bed you."

Kurt looked up at Loki who was still intent on the board, "I said nothing about bedding her."

Loki closed his eyes, trying to center his thoughts. "I misunderstood the implications."

"Indeed, das is certainly a misunderstanding...checkmate."

Loki sat back in the chair, stared into the fire, "Forgive me Kurt, I wish to be alone."

Kurt sat forward and patted his knee, "Dere is no need to ask forgiveness. God grant you peace. I think I vill vander down to der common room and see if I can scare anybody."

Long after Kurt had gone, Loki sat listening to the crackle of the fire, thinking of Sarah, of the struggle they'd endured just to steal a few moments each time they'd met. The panic that under-lied their lovemaking in his quarters at S.H.I.E.L.D., the desperation that had caused them to flee and the resignation that had made him run. He couldn't see that changing, Thor would not allow it. Fury would not allow it. How could they ever be free?

Then his thoughts turned maddeningly to Grace. His heart would pound every time he saw her as of late. Kurt had been right, painfully so. He would deliberately seek her out, even as much as he seemed to annoy her at times and owing to the fact that she too was a closed door much like Thomas had been, he could still sense the thoughts close to the surface and he had felt her heart race as well every time he was close.

Perhaps the events set in motion upon his return to Earth what seemed like eons ago now, were truly leading him here to his fate. He felt accepted, among like people, even loved to a point. He had a purpose, the rage in him that he'd borne when he and Thor first stepped onto the landing pad in New York had diminished until it was a distant memory. He was content here, if he could convince Sarah to come here and stay with him and their children, maybe he would finally be truly at peace but if she decided to stay in New York as he suspected she would, how would they ever be a family?

He rose from the chair, banked the fire and headed out into the hallway, heading for the common room to find Kurt again.

Logan pushed the wheelbarrow into the multi-port garage. "Here's the last of them. It's getting damn cold outside."

Kitty, Piotr and Loki started taking the pumpkins out of the wheelbarrow, setting them on one of two long tables.

Kitty had counted the first table and was now in the process of counting each of the remaining ones the men set on the second table.

"Forty pumpkins, this is going to look beautiful. We've got to cut the tops and gut them after lunch so they can be ready for tonight."

Logan looked at the watch on his arm, "Loki, we got a class to teach too. We don't get going we're going to be late."

"I am..." He sighed, "I'm ready when you are."

Logan clapped him on the back, "I'll have you trained in no time. Come on."

They stepped out into the late October sunshine filtering through the golden maple leaves of the trees surrounding the garage. "Grounds is gonna have to rake tomorrow before the party."

Loki picked up a maple leaf and studied it as they walked, "Should I ask if you are helping with the pumpkins tonight?"

Logan rolled his eyes, "I was corralled this time. Mother hen told me I had to because I was strong enough to cut the pumpkins." He slid the adamantium claws out from his right hand and held them up, "Maybe she'd reconsider if I tell her I'm using these babies for the job."

Sarah stared hard at the time in the corner of her computer screen, willing it to be five o' clock already. She'd been to the bathroom three times in the last hour and just wanted to get home to put her feet up. The babies had finally quieted down, stopping their acrobatics. Tomorrow was Halloween. Thor, Jane and herself would make supper, put scary movies on the TV and hand out candy but tonight she would be alone, with Thor. Jane had a night class to teach so they'd be eating dinner and spending the night without her. Sarah looked forward to it and feared it at the same time, knowing she was slipping into dangerous waters.

When Thor had returned and told her Loki refused to come back with him, she had told Thor that she was glad of it. Inwardly, she had struggled to contain her emotions, her relief that they wouldn't send him back to Asgard and the chance that the High Council would order his death, her pain at being apart from him. She knew why Loki was staying at Xavier's school. She knew the options he faced coming back. She also realized what chance they had to be together, and what it would mean for her career. The mere fact that they had kept her on, led her to constantly second guess herself as to why, though she had two good ideas.

The elevator stopped at the second floor of the parking garage and she got out. She'd been driving to work a lot lately for the freedom it offered her. She hit the unlock button as she stood before her little Jeep Patriot and waited for the beep to pull on the handle. She pulled herself up, strapped in, backed up and headed down the exit ramp.

She had come to terms with her mistakes. The biggest one of course being ever letting anything happen between them in the first place. She should have been fired just for that offense, it was one of the number one rules, do not get involved with staff, prisoners, or team members. It had demeaned her professionalism and as such, she'd been happy to return to a desk job, considering the fact that she at least still had a job to go to. Fury had been unusually understanding but she'd had to go through the gauntlet to return to S.H.I.E.L.D.

As time began to move forward without any communication from Loki, Thor had been her constant source of comfort and encouragement, telling her that she wouldn't be alone when the babies arrived, saying that she was beautiful when she felt like a beach ball with arms and legs, taking her hand while she cried, kissing her on the top of the head, holding her.

She wanted to believe it was the hormones rushing through her and she would keep saying it, using the excuse over and over as Thor moved closer to her every day and her time with Loki became almost a dream, a terrifying, wonderful dream but a dream nonetheless. A number of times, she'd driven out of the city to see Lizzie in Far Rockaway and had nearly kept going towards the highway, intending to head to Xavier's school and then she had forced herself back to that same reality, the futility of it all.

She pulled into the dooryard of the little house in Brooklyn, could see Thor's silhouette in the kitchen as he doubtless was preparing supper, and she shivered, then sighed, shut the car door and trotted up the front porch stairs into the house.

Half the staff was in the garage with knives, spoons and paper towels. They'd paired up and claimed spots on the garage floor. Newspaper was spread out on the concrete and barn heaters were going as the temperatures had dropped into the forties the afternoon.

Loki was poised on his knees, using the knife to cut around the circle Grace had drawn around the stem.

"Make it big enough, I still need to put my hand inside to get out the seeds and stuff unless you want to do that?"

Loki poked his finger into the now exposed fibers and seeds on the inside, "No, this is your chore."

Grace shook her head, "What a wuss." She gutted three of the five pumpkins in front of her, slinging the detritus on the newspapers beside them as they talked and laughed.

"Why didn't Kurt join us for the fun?" Grace asked Loki as he cut into the fourth pumpkin.

"I inquired as to why he wasn't joining us and he told me that he had lesson plans to go over. He is very serious about this German class. I told him that if I were required to go to the party tomorrow night, then he would be also and he agreed."

Loki pulled the top off of the fourth pumpkin and set it beside the great orange globe, backing out of the way to let Grace have at it. She shoved her hand into the pumpkin and squelched the innards between her fingers, smiling. "I've always loved Halloween and autumn, the colors of the leaves, the smells, the scary stuff, the cozy fires and warm days, the food."

She scooped as much as she could out with her hand and grabbed for the paper towels to wipe her hands but found an empty roll.

Loki would you get me a new roll of paper towels, I need one."

Loki stretched over to the table above them and grabbed a small roll, unwound a few sheets and handed them to Grace. As she took them from his hand, her fingers closed over his and their heads snapped upwards in unison, images, thoughts suddenly in her head, scenes, a bracelet, a burst of rainbow light, a post, chains, the face of a woman holding a small stick, a cabin, New York from stories above the ground, a sightless monster standing amidst a dark rocky crag, a landscape of ice and snow and she pulled her hand away with a shuddering gasp.

Loki had pitched backwards when their hands parted, catching himself with one hand behind himself, the other still in midair, fingers outstretched. Grace meanwhile was on her feet at once, realizing the garage had gone silent. She felt sick to her stomach, glanced down at Loki, her hands now stuck beneath her arms which she'd folded across her chest.

"I have to go," her voice was small, soft. Loki stood up then, started to put his hand up to her shoulder and watched her shrink away from him.

"Stay here. I shall go."

She kept her gaze at the pumpkin at their feet, felt him brush past her, out into the cold October evening, only then did she allow her bottom lip, which she'd bitten hard, to tremble as she took her hands from beneath her arms and looked at them as if they'd betrayed her.

Ororo came up beside her and laid a gentle hand on her arm, feeling her stiffen in response.

"I forgot that I had my gloves off to clean out the damn pumpkins. It just happened and I wasn't ready for it." Grace closed her eyes tightly, trying to stave off the tears forming there. "And the exchange works both ways, my god."

"You'll be okay Grace. Why don't you grab a chair and sit down. Take a rest, we'll finish the pumpkins. The children will be here in pretty soon."

She took the folding chair that Kitty had carried over but not before she had used the utility sink in the garage to wash her hands, then taking her gloves from her jeans pocket and pulling them on. She sat quiet, watching the rest of her friends clean up the newspapers and put the pumpkins on the long tables but the activity failed to distract her from the images, thoughts that she'd received from Loki when she had touched him. God only knew what he had received from her.

Loki sat on his bed, looking at his hands. The exchange had been exhilarating and crude all at once, animalistic. It felt like being turned inside out with all one's deepest darkest thoughts bared for everyone to see. He had caught images of her screaming, crying as a man came at her in the darkness of a small room, a small teacup shattering to the floor, two girls holding a pair of gloves high over their heads laughing, then more, stronger images, seeing him for the first time, thoughts, words, even emotions, fear, desire, rage. She was a telepath like him. A particularly powerful one at that. He lay back on the mattress and covered his face with his hands, groaned aloud, jumping at the sudden knock on his door and sitting up.

"Come in,"

Grace swung the door wide, walked into the room and immediately set to pacing before him, her gloved hands clasped in front of her, "Well now you know why I wear gloves. I've always been telepathic. My parents gave me up for adoption shortly after I was born," Her voice was tremulous, close to breaking, "I went threw a slew of foster homes and schools where I learned real fast not to touch anyone or anything because shut off what I would see. I still haven't learned to either. Then one day I was outside in the snow, I couldn't have been more than four. My foster mother came outside to bring me in and grabbed my hand, I had mittens on and I found her thoughts were muffled, like someone talking through a pillow. I asked for some heavier gloves and it worked. I could feel where the gloves had been but that faded with time. Objects are one thing, people are worse. I learned some control when I knew I was going to touch something but when it was unexpected like you, I had no chance to throw up any barriers and I get millions of images all at the same time and the connection is immediate, like being plugged in, woven together like a tapestry and I saw things I shouldn't have and I'm sorry."

She stopped pacing but didn't look at him, couldn't meet his eyes.

"It is like that for me too. Each time I see into someone's mind, it becomes more entwined with my own until I can sense that person's thoughts over a great distance."

He stood up beside Grace, distressed when she flinched at his movement.

"Is it like that with Sarah?"

"Yes it is, though sometimes I wish it were not. It is easier not to see that which you cannot have."

He walked over to an easy chair and sat down, his head in his hand. Grace walked over to stand before him, "You never told anyone she's pregnant."

"What good would it do, I cannot be with her, nor see her. I know not whether I will even be able to see my children."

Grace sat on the couch opposite him. "We'll find a way for you to see them when it's time."

Loki looked at her, wanting to take her chin in his hand and make her return his gaze but he was sure such a move would send her screaming from his room at that moment.

"Your connection is like a conduit, an exchange. You have seen into me and I have seen into you."

He waited for her to absorb his words but her expression never wavered though her eyes glistened in the light from the small lamp between the easy chairs.

"There's so much I want to say but I can't, Loki. I've made it a point to forgo human contact for so long that the connection between us feels foreign. Unwanted."

She turned her head then, and finally looked at him, "That's not right, I didn't mean unwanted, I don't know what to call it."

He shrugged, "Unexpected."

She gave a shy smile, "Unexpected, oh that's an understatement."

He clasped his hands together and put them to his chin, "You know then that I am the same as you. A telepath."

She nodded, "I saw things I didn't understand. Who is the monster that stands in the dark rocks?"

"He is called The Other. He is the maker of the destruction in Manhattan."

She recalled then, the scene in New York, watched his face.

"I saw the markings on your back the day after you arrived but didn't dare ask what they were from, now I know."

"There is much I have seen about you as well. The man in the bedroom."

She put her hand to her mouth, "I've never told anyone about Wade."

"I will keep your secrets."

She frowned, could feel the tears threatening again, "And I'll keep yours."

He wanted to comfort her in that moment, to take her hand and kiss it, to reassure her. He looked up at her.

When their eyes met again, he could feel his heart begin to hammer in his chest and suddenly he needed to be anywhere else in the world but here before her. He broke their gaze.

"Loki," She began but the words would remain where they were as there came another knock on the door.

"Come in," Loki sat up straighter in the chair and Grace sat back in the couch both of them aware that their actions were making them seem like they had been caught doing something wrong.

Kurt opened the door, "Loki, I vent down to der..." his gaze passed from Loki to Grace and back.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Loki and Grace both stood at once,

"No, not at all. We were talking." Loki gave Kurt a wide smile, Kurt noticing that Grace had turned her head to look at him, more appropriately, stare at him.

"Are you going down to der pumpkin carving? Der kinder have already started."

Loki nodded, put his hands out to usher them from his room and closed the door behind them.

Outside the large garage, there were a number of Jack o' Lanterns already carved and lit. Kurt had observed Loki and Grace all the way down the hall and out the foyer, into the courtyard and around the circular drive where it forked off around the mansion. They had tried so hard to look casual that they were having the opposite effect, Kurt finally corralling Loki as they neared the crowd and Grace was taken up with the children.

"Vat did I valk in on?"

"A talk, Kurt. That is all."

Kurt saw that Grace had stopped what she was doing and was watching them.

"Ja, a talk but vat more?"

Loki started to walk again, "What does it matter?"

Kurt caught up with him, "Vat of Sarah?"

Loki stopped and turned on Kurt, "What has this to do with Sarah?" He could see Kurt's tail swishing back and forth like an angry cat.

"Maybe I should ask it another vay. Are you seeing Miss Archer?"

Loki's blank stare only served to frustrate Kurt, "Ach, courting, dating, sleeping vith? Does any of this make sense?"

He knew the words had struck a chord as Loki was visibly shaken. "Friends, Kurt, I have told you, we are...friends."

Kurt looked again to Grace who was still watching them. "Come, mein freund, let us talk no more of dis. Let us join der festivities."

Loki stood watching the children, teenagers all carving the pumpkins in their own designs, laughing, joking. He stayed far from the crowd, unsteady, trying to calm himself. Tonight he would meditate before bed. He'd been doing so as of late, to quell the torrent of emotions he'd been going through since his arrival and it had helped, but as he watched Grace among the children, smiling, laughing, casting the occasional glance his way and each time in doing so, causing his heart to race, he knew meditation would be forced tonight. Kurt had seen again what he had sought so hard to avoid. The encounter tonight had only served to deepen it, the fact that he'd been denying it serving only to make it worse. He was falling in love with Grace.


	7. Chapter 7

The first snow of the season ushered in the first week of November. Loki had made it a point to avoid Grace as much as possible since Halloween but it had been a painful separation. The encounter seemed to create a bond stronger than the one he had possessed with Sarah, different, made tighter by the fact that they were both telepaths. He had taken to stripping himself down to his Jotun form,

hated though it was, meditating in his room every night to recenter himself. He seemed to be able to eschew human emotions more readily then, the warmth of the fireplace playing deliciously on his cold skin.

Still he had begun to dream, maddening, highly erotic dreams, half remembered, incredibly intense. He'd more than once that week forced himself to lie abed hands clasped into fists, willing his arousal to abate, knowing that if he touched himself, all would be lost. He wondered if Grace had been having the same difficulties as he but dared not approach her on any subjects save academics at this point.

Sundays were usually reserved for visiting family and friends, often a busy day and this Sunday was no exception. Still Loki was taken aback when Logan found him in the common room. "Hey, pal, you got a visitor in the foyer."

Loki's heart leaped, could Sarah have decided to come see him? Then the reality hit him, he would have felt her if she had...wouldn't he?

He trotted towards the foyer, suddenly slowing as he saw the back of a long black leather coat and a dark bald head looking up at the ornate drop lights that hung from the ceiling.

When he heard the footsteps, Nick Fury turned and a smile that ended at his one good eye, crossed his face.

"Happy Early Thanksgiving."

Loki stopped a few feet distant from him. "Why are you here?"

"Now I thought this was a finishing school, where are your manners?"

Loki bit his bottom lip hard then gestured with his hand towards the common room, "This way, please."

He led Fury into the common room and waved his hand towards one of the couches before the roaring fire in the massive fireplace. Fury nodded and sat down but Loki remained standing.

"Have a seat, I'm not going to whisk you away, I promise."

Loki stared at him, unmoving, his arms before his chest.

"Suit yourself," Fury leaned back in the couch, crossed his legs, "I came here to check on our wayward son, to see how he's adapting to academic life. Miss Munroe informs me you're fitting right in, becoming like one of the family."

Loki frowned, "I am flattered. I was not aware you were receiving regular updates about me."

Fury clapped his hands together, "That was one of the stipulations of your remaining here. Did you think we were just going to forget about you?"

"One could hope." He muttered and Fury gave a soft laugh.

"You're even teaching a self defense class. Keeping your skills sharp?"

"I am an assistant."

"But you get paid for your services, you've actually become a contributing member of society. The IRS is gonna have a ball with this one when they try to send your W-2's to you. Might want to get a change of address form."

Loki put a hand to his temple and rubbed it. He was quickly becoming irritated.

"Staying put?"

Loki cocked his head, "What do you mean?"

Fury shrugged his shoulders, "Any clandestine jaunts about town?"

"The farthest I have been outside the facility is Salem Center with Ororo and Logan."

He had been shocked when Ororo had pulled him aside and asked that he go with them to town for party supplies just before Halloween. He'd thought, too, that even though they were extending every freedom to him, that he was indeed limited to the grounds simply based on his first long talk with Ororo a lifetime ago now.

"I was just checking, I had to ask, not that you'd tell me the truth now, would you?"

Loki gave him a sly smile, "What reason have I to lie now?"

"Well I'm happy to know you've found a safe place here. I'm heading out to be with my family for a couple weeks, the holidays and all, which reminds me, I got something for you." Fury reached for the inside pocket of his coat and drew out a black and white photograph, handing it to Loki who hesitated, then reached out and snatched it away as if Fury was suddenly going to grab him by the wrist and drag him out the front door. He stared at the photo, at first mystified by it, then reading the words around the edge, "Miller, Sarah D.O.B. 4/12/78" he could discern two small silhouettes in one strangely shaped chamber.

"Ah you've probably never seen an ultrasound picture before, I'm getting slow in my old age. The doctors take pictures of the babies while they're still in utero. It's a picture of the twins from last week."

The picture started to blur before him and he backed into a large easy chair, sitting down heavy, mouth hung open in shock.

"Sarah sent this?"

Fury shook his head, "No, Thor brought it to show me, he was there for the ultrasound, he thought I'd like to see how the little Laufeysons are doing."

Sick rage welled up inside him, his breath quickening, pulse racing, "It should have been me."

He growled, "Thor has no right to be there."

Fury raised an eyebrow, "Technically, neither do you. If you step foot on the island of Manhattan without permission, you fall under my jurisdiction and you're fair game. You might want to keep that in mind."

Loki's stomach was turning now, the anger threatening to overwhelm him as he forced out his next question with great effort, feeling as if he was begging, pleading like a dog for any scraps,

"Does Sarah speak of me?"

Fury shook his head, "Not to me, you'd have to ask Thor that question. Sarah lives with him and Jane now."

"I know this," Loki's voice was barely a whisper.

"How?"

Loki tapped his forehead with a long finger.

"Oh yeah I forgot. A pity it doesn't always work." He tapped his own bald head and smiled.

Loki's frown deepened, Fury was another human he had never been able to read. He could see him but it was as if he was a hole in space, a blank, as if he didn't exist.

"Yeah sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you." He sat forward from the couch and stood up,

"I've got to head out, they're predicting more snow and I got a ways to drive. Before I go, is there anything that you want me to tell Sarah if I see her?"

Loki shook his head, "I could tell you volumes but nothing would reach her."

Fury's face remained impassive, "Don't say I didn't offer." he glanced into the foyer where a few students and their parents had now gathered. "I'll show myself out."

Loki sat there until the front door closed behind Fury, then rose from the easy chair, striding past the students and their families without a word and down the hallway on the opposite side of the corridor. His throat stung with swallowed tears, teeth clenched together, nostrils flaring with each lungful of oxygen, the picture clutched in one hand, the other in a fist, he needed to be alone, he wanted to be with someone, his thoughts were racing, his eyes not seeing the path he was taking, the people he was passing.

Grace had taken the book from her bookshelf before she'd left her room and was hoping she wouldn't be late to the library when she caught sight of Loki heading down the hall at her. She put her own head down and kept walking. They had done a good job of avoiding each other the week after Halloween. He had remained in his quarters on All Hallow's eve while the children enjoyed their night of revelry, even Kurt couldn't move him.

She'd awakened from a dream the morning after Halloween and had decided that distance was the best thing she could give him right now and though she'd expected him to do the same she was startled when he sailed by her, silent, swift. She turned and looked at his retreating form, eyes narrowed in confusion as she continued to the library. Logan was outside the door, leaning against the wall, reading a book.

"Don't tell me you're going to the poetry reading. Ororo threaten you, did she?"

Logan's head jerked up, "Ha ha, yeah I'm going to read "Hiawatha."

"Oh should be interesting." Grace glanced back down the hallway but Loki had disappeared.

"Geez Gracie, you think I was serious?" Logan stood up,. "I was finishing the last chapter and returning my book. I wanted to get out of there before the poetry reading started. That crap is sissy shit."

"Nice, nice."

"Well it is, now that's stuff that Loki would like, where is long, tall and ugly?"

"He was headed down the hallway when I saw him just a couple of minutes ago."

Logan peered down the dim hallway, "He had a visitor this afternoon."

Grace's heart skipped a beat, her chest felt empty, "A visitor, a woman?"

"Naw a big black man in a long leather jacket, had a patch over one eye. I thought it was Nick Fury but I've only seen pictures of him."

Grace looked at the book in her hand, "He didn't say what he wanted?"

Logan shrugged, "He wanted to talk to Loki, that's it." Logan opened one of the double doors into the library room and walked inside. She heard Kurt yell to him, "Vat is dis, are you going to read a little Valt Vitman for us?"

Grace closed her eyes and sighed. She knew she should just walk into the library behind Logan and sit down with her book, wait her turn to read. She turned the way Loki had gone, took a couple steps, stopped, turned back again towards the library door, groaned, turned away and headed down the hallway to find Loki.

Fury had pulled off the highway into a rest area when the snow started to come down heavier and he now sat, watching the large plows scraping the highway behind him. He opened the glove compartment to his right, took out the envelope which read "Loki" in big letters on the front, and opened it. In truth, Fury had felt the slightest twinge of guilt about the photo and so he had given it to Loki, but not the letter. He opened it and reread it in the orange glow of the sodium arc lamps lining the walkway of the rest area,

"Loki,

Here's the latest ultrasound picture of the babies. I'm doing okay with the pregnancy although I'm a little tired and I think the kids use my bladder for a trampoline.

We need to talk soon. Things are changing here. I've written my new cell number inside the envelope. Call me any time, day or night.

You don't know how many times I've wished I could turn back the clock, stop you from leaving that car but I know that's impossible. I understand why you did what you did, I only hope you understand why I did what I've done in turn. Thor tells me you're happy and safe at the school which gives me a bit of peace, knowing that you're not out on the road somewhere alone. If this is the way it has to be, then so be it. I just need to talk to you, I miss you.

Sarah"

He refolded the letter and slid it back in the envelope. If he was to keep Loki at the school where he could have some measure of control over him, even under Miss Munroe's jurisdiction, then Thor would have to continue the job he'd been asked to do. Whether it was now a pleasure or a burden for him was no matter. The bottom line, the end result was all that mattered, that Loki stay where he was for the foreseeable future. Fury took a bottle of pills out of one of the cup holders, opened it, shook a little blue pill into his hand and swallowed it down without water. Then he got out of the car with the letter in his hand. His footsteps were muffled in the snow as he walked to the men's restroom. Once inside, he methodically tore the letter into dozens of tiny pieces and distributed them evenly between the three empty toilet bowls, flushing each one in turn.

Once back outside, he stretched, got back into his car and started the engine, backing out into the deserted parking lot and heading north on Interstate 684.

Grace made a cautious entrance into the large kitchen, peering into the darkness broken by the outside lights that illuminated the mansion. She could see him silhouetted in the big bay window behind the wait staff table, looking out at the falling snow, a piece of paper in his left hand, his right pressed against the glass. She stood there listening, watched his hand rake across the window, curl into a fist, heard him take a shuddering breath, just as quickly let it out. She took another couple steps forward, afraid to startle him. She sat the book down as quietly as she could on the table beside him, put her hand out, took a deep breath and touched his arm.

"Loki,"

He flinched as if he'd been stung, and backed away from her.

"It's me," She stepped into the light from the bay window and looked up at him. "Are you alright?"

He held up the piece of paper in his hand and she saw what it was, took it from him and stared at it.

"Thor was there with her." She glanced up at him then back at the ultrasound picture. "Where I should have been."

She could hear the tremor in his voice as she put the picture down on the windowsill beside her and put a gloved hand to his cheek, wiping the tears with her thumb, the touch of her hand finally serving to break him and he curled forward, sobs wracking his body. She slid her arms around his neck, hands stroking his hair as she whispered to him that it was going to be alright, feeling his arms encircle her waist, lift her to him, his head buried into her shoulder. They stayed like that for long minutes until he gently stepped back from her, his gaze fixed on the floor as he wiped his eyes with his fingertips and looked up at her.

"Thank you Grace, You cannot know what you have done for me. I so desperately needed you tonight. I feared I was coming undone again."

He reached out for her again and enfolded her in a tight embrace, her head resting against his chest, hearing his heart beat. "Thank you," She heard his voice a low purr and she closed her eyes, relishing the closeness of another person, one she didn't want to run away from screaming in fear.

She backed away from him, finally, and picked up her poetry book from the table.

"Why don't you come with me. It's reading night, we're doing poetry."

Loki shook his head, "I would make poor company, I fear."

"Nonsense, I'd only worry about you if you went to your room. Just sit and listen. Splash some water on your face," She walked to the large basin sink and turned on the cold water, "It'll feel good after what you went through."

Loki did as he was told, the cool water serving to refresh him. He grabbed the picture from the windowsill and followed her dutifully out of the kitchen.

Kurt paused in his recital when Loki and Grace slipped into the library.

"Sorry," Grace mouthed to Kurt who gave her a slight bow and continued. Loki had asked her to put the photo in the back of her book so that no one would see it and she had obliged. They sat on one of the couches together, she handing him the book she'd been holding as they listened to Kurt. After a moment, leafing through the book, he nudged Grace.

"You should read this one."

She took the book from him and read the title, "From Pent up Aching Rivers" She cast him a sideways glance but he was focused on Kurt.

"Loki," She whispered, "I can't read that, take a really good look at it."

She watched him read the first few lines to himself satisfied he would see what it was, "Well?"

He turned to her and smiled, "Then I shall read it."

He stood before she could stop him as Kurt bowed, the others, Ororo, Kitty, a new staff member who had joined them, Joseph Lundgren, and Piotr clapping.

Kurt smiled at Loki waving him to the middle of the floor, Grace trying to sink into the cushions a little farther, wishing fervently that she'd not picked Walt Whitman this time, but as he started to speak, his low, fluid voice mesmerizing, caressing the words like a patient lover, she began to wish he'd not picked it for quite another reason,

From Pent up Aching Rivers

From that of myself without which I were nothing,

From what I am determin'd to make illustrious, even if I stand sole

among men,

From my own voice resonant, singing the phallus,

Singing the song of procreation,

Singing the need of superb children and therein superb grown people,

Singing the muscular urge and the blending,

Singing the bedfellow's song, (O resistless yearning!

O for any and each the body correlative attracting!

O for you whoever you are your correlative body! O it, more than all

else, you delighting!)

From the hungry gnaw that eats me night and day,

From native moments, from bashful pains, singing them,

Seeking something yet unfound though I have diligently sought it

many a long year,...

She had her hand to her neck, absently rubbing it, letting his voice carry her away, he focusing on her alone in the room as he read, she watching him, listening.

The furious storm through me careering, I passionately trembling.

The oath of the inseparableness of two together, of the woman that

loves me and whom I love more than my life, that oath swearing,

(O I willingly stake all for you,

O let me be lost if it must be so!

O you and I! what is it to us what the rest do or think?

What is all else to us? only that we enjoy each other and exhaust

each other if it must be so;)

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the cushion, transported by the words.

From the long sustain'd kiss upon the mouth or bosom,

From the close pressure that makes me or any man drunk, fainting

with excess,

From what the divine husband knows, from the work of fatherhood,

From exultation, victory and relief, from the bedfellow's embrace in

the night,

From the act-poems of eyes, hands, hips and bosoms,

From the cling of the trembling arm,

From the bending curve and the clinch,

From side by side the pliant coverlet off-throwing,

From the one so unwilling to have me leave, and me just as unwilling

to leave,

(Yet a moment O tender waiter, and I return,)

From the hour of shining stars and dropping dews,

From the night a moment I emerging flitting out,

Celebrate you act divine and you children prepared for,

And you stalwart loins.

The sound of clapping brought her back to herself and she opened her eyes just in time to see Loki staring at her as he snapped the book shut. He walked over to the couch and sat back down beside her, she not daring to look around the room, instead taking the book from Loki and pretending to browse through it for another poem.

"Well how did I do?" He nudged her and she rolled her eyes, catching Kurt's stare as Kitty stood up in the middle of the room.

"Wonderfully. Next time, let me pick the poem."

Loki sat back in the couch and smiled, "I rather liked it. Might I read some more to you another day?" suddenly his face darkened and he stood up, "If you' will excuse me. I'm going to retire for the evening."

Grace sat forward, "Do you want me to walk you up?"

He shook his head. "I am fine. I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Promise?" she said quietly.

"I promise."

He glided around the couches and chairs, slipped into the hallway and was gone.

Grace lay in bed that night, the book of poetry clutched in her hand, open to the poem Loki had read, her hand keeping the page as she finally fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The clash of metal hitting metal resounded throughout the room as Loki opened the door and slipped into the shadows to watch Kurt finish his opponent. His movements were practiced and flawless, each parry, thrust, flourish of the epee was tight and controlled but of equal merit was the way his pupil at the opposite end matched his movements. If Kurt was a great fencer, he was an even better teacher.

Kurt and the student removed their face guards and shook hands. Loki stood to the side while the students filed out of the room and Kurt caught sight of him. He had unzipped and removed his outer jacket and was working off his chest protector as Loki approached him.

"I vas beginning to think I did something wrong."

Loki clasped his hands behind his back, "I am sorry. It is not you, it is I."

Kurt's face broke into a benevolent smile, "Mein freund, come sit vith me and talk. I've missed your company."

They sat in Kurt's room in the easy chairs, Loki sitting forward, elbows on his knees looking anything but easy. Kurt had seen him in the company of Grace all week and whenever he had tried to catch him, Loki had always claimed he was busy so Kurt was ecstatic that he'd finally come to see him on his own.

"I do not believe Thor gave him the picture. I think that Sarah sent it for me."

"Why do you think this is true?"

Loki cracked his knuckles, "Because if I believe otherwise, what is there left for me?"

"Your brother is a cad, so you say?"

Loki's frown deepened, "He takes liberties with Sarah. He has taken liberties with women his whole life. He is uncouth, barbaric, insatiable. If he seeks to punish me from afar, he has done well."

Kurt tapped the rim of his tea cup, "Perhaps, Loki, it is der vay it must go." He held up a hand as Loki started to speak, "Hear me out. You have not avoided me this veek so much as your time has been taken up vith Grace. Perhaps I vas wrong before."

"Wrong about what?" Loki watched him, his brow furrowed.

"You fit vell vith Grace."

Loki stood abruptly, "She is a dear friend, she has comforted me when I needed it most."

Kurt stayed in his chair as Loki paced the floor before him.

"I think you love Miss Archer, too."

Loki stopped, staring at Kurt, "I cannot."

"Vy,?"

He resumed pacing, "It is impossible to love two women."

Kurt grinned, "It is dangerous, not impossible, though to keep two vimmen is an injustice to dem and yourself."

Loki whirled around to face Kurt, "I do not love Grace, though she has become dear to me, my thoughts stay with Sarah. Please speak no more of this to me."

He sailed past Kurt out of the room, slamming the door behind him, his long legs carrying him swiftly down the hallway, angry that Kurt had turned the conversation to Grace, angrier still for the questions it had brought to mind.

Their friendship had become an easy one, unbridled, comfortable unlike the times with Sarah when they'd feared discovery at every moment they were able to steal together, but with Grace, theirs was enriched by their setting, enhanced by shared experiences and the acceptance of those around them.

Sarah was an agent, first and foremost. Her circle included those who would seek to imprison him, or worse. To her whole family, he would remain a monster, a threat to her career, unable to share in their lives. He had many times wondered if they would even accept and welcome his children when they were born.

He entered the darkened gymnasium and sat down on the bleachers in the far corner with only the light from the EXIT sign above the door for illumination. After the poetry reading, he and Grace had begun to spend an inordinate amount of time together, talking laughing, teasing one another. They had sat on one of the couches during movie night in the common room cuddled close, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Logan had only shaken his head when he glanced at them from the other side of the room. They had come to the kitchen to cook up a midnight snack, they had lain crossways on his bed one night reading from "Leaves of Grass" even though it had conjured up memories of Sarah for him, the poetry electrifying them both as was obvious when Grace sat up abruptly and told him she had to go as it was past her bedtime. They had even spent an evening doing laundry in the laundry room, just keeping each other company, she doing paperwork, he reading a book.

The door to the gymnasium creaked open, Loki could see by the silhouette that it was Kurt.

"I am over here."

Kurt walked across the gym floor and climbed up the bleachers until he was one bench below him.

"I vanted to apologize to you." Kurt had his tail in his hand, fiddling with the pointed tip,"I had no right to say anything about you und Grace."

Loki put his hand on Kurt's shoulder, "You did nothing wrong my friend. I should be the one to apologize to you. I should not have been so rude and in your quarters no less."

Kurt waved a hand, "Not at all, think nothing of it"

"You have given me much to think about."

"Oh? Das is good or bad?"

Loki scanned the dark gym, "I honestly do not know. I have discovered how fortunate I am to have found this place, made good friends," He smiled at Kurt, "and now I am left to wonder how much more I have discovered in the process."

"Take your time, Rome vas not built in a day, but I simply tell you dat if you find vat I said is so, den you must be honorable."

"It is difficult to discern what is honorable when your enemy does not play by the rules."

Kurt peered up at him, "Enemy? Vat enemy?"

"Those that separate Sarah from me. I would that it were so easy to go and speak to her, see her but I feel it may already be too late." he paused, rubbed his face with his hands, "I do have much to think about."

Thanksgiving week found the halls of the school preternaturally quiet. Many students had gone home for the holiday week though there were a goodly number who had no families to go to. Everyone had been assigned to pitch in helping to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner and to that end, Monday found Loki, Grace, Ororo and Logan at the A&P food store in Golden's Bridge.

Loki and Logan watched the women fill the carts, dutifully pushing them down the aisles as Grace with her clipboard, wrote incessantly as Ororo checked prices and contents.

"I don't know why I let ya convince me to come along, Ro. If I was in charge of this.."

"We'd be having franks and beans..." Ororo finished for him.

"Well yeah, I'd even heat them up, geez."

Loki leaned against a nearby shelf, "Correct me if I am wrong, this is a holiday celebrating food?"

Logan nodded, "Ya got it, pal." but Ororo gave Logan a look.

"That's how we celebrate the holiday yes, but it's about the Pilgrims who were saved by the generosity of the Wampanoag Indians during their first year here in America and they celebrated with a harvest feast of Thanksgiving together with the Indians.'

"Well, at least that's the way we're told it happened but there are differences between legend and reality.." Grace interjected,

"Pilgrims?" Loki turned to Logan.

"See," Logan shoved a thumb in Loki's direction, "Now I knew you'd lost him early on, just give him the basic idea will ya, or we'll never get out of this aisle."

Grace smacked him with the clipboard, "Oh shut up, don't be such a whine ass."

Ororo grabbed the end of one cart and pulled it farther down the aisle toward the stuffing section. "It's so tricky to shop for a small group. It's one thing for the cooks to buy in bulk for the whole school, but to judge for a large dinner party well that's the harder part."

"Thanksgiving has changed just like other holidays, just like Christmas being all about the presents.."

"Christmas.."

"Oh you gotta be kidding," Logan threw his hands in the air, "the biggest holiday of the year and you don't know about it. Excuse me, just what did you all do in Asgard, didn't you pay attention to what was happening on the bottom floor?"

"When the religion of the gods passed out of favor, we simply withdrew from Midgardian life. We cared not what they did. They knew not what we did. It was a mutual separation."

They followed Ororo down the end of the aisle and started up the next one, "Thanksgiving is celebrated now by football games,"

"Ah the game the males play in the field with two forks,"

"Goal posts, ah geez, now you make it sound all sissy like." Logan winced.

"And parades and a huge dinner," Grace continued, "Families get together, friends too. It's a holiday for giving thanks for what you have, your health, loved ones around you, even for getting to see yet another Thanksgiving..that's the literal translation..giving thanks. Does it make any more sense?"

"A holiday for giving thanks, yes. Like the feasts we have in Asgard to celebrate a marriage or a birth." he looked down at the floor then, Grace noticing and changing the subject abruptly, "How many students did I say we have remaining in the school?"

Logan tapped the clipboard in her hand, "Don't you got it written down?"

"Ah yeah," She flipped the first page over, "Thirty students and about half the staff. We're gointo be busy for the next few days. I'm glad Cookie said she'd stay on to help us."

Cookie was the head cook at the school and lived in North Salem. She wasn't going to Thanksgiving dinner until later thanksgiving evening so she'd offered to help them with the dinner prep and cooking.

"Personally, I can't wait for the pies." Logan said as he handed up half a dozen cans of pumpkin puree to Loki who tossed them in the cart.

"Why did Kurt not come with us today?" Loki paused, a can in his hand.

Ororo looked at Grace and Logan then at Loki, "Not all people are as understanding as those at the school."

When Loki tilted his head, Ororo sighed, "He looks radically different than you and I and that scares people so he has to stay at the school."

"That seems cruel. Why can he not do as he wishes?"

"It's more than cruel, I agree, and Kurt can do as he wishes, he just stays at the school because he understands the scene it can cause."

"Who would dare to cause trouble with any of us?" Loki glanced around the aisle they were in, "What fool would challenge me?"

Logan peered at him, "You think you're pretty tough don't you."

"Tough? Perhaps confident, would that suit you better?"

"Remember who you're talking to, the guy that throws you to the mat four days a week." Logan waggled a finger at him.

"Would you rather I resisted each time? I did not believe that was the premise of the class."

Ororo snickered, "Go ahead Loki, next time he tries to throw you, don't let him. I'd like to see him hobble around with his back thrown out."

Grace watched a smile play around Loki's lips as he shook his head, "If I were to do that, I would be left to teach the class alone and I am far from qualified."

"Hey, who said I wouldn't be able to throw you anyway?"

Loki nodded, "When we get home, we shall see, content?"

Logan grunted, "I wouldn't want to hurt my assistant, I've got too many squealing girls on my hands now."

They piled one cart with seven gallons of milk and Ororo sighed, "We're just about done here. We'll get checked out and then we'll go next door and get pizza, that sound okay with you guys?"

"Oh sure," Logan teased, "Anything to get out of cooking, right?"

Ororo turned to him with a smile, "That's right, considering I was going to make you cook tonight."

"Ooo, she told you." Grace added as they wheeled the groaning carts into the register aisle.

Grace and Ororo watched the clerk scan the items and the bill climb, at one point Grace leaning to Ororo and whispering that it was a good thing that this went on the school's checking account. Ororo handed the clerk the card while Loki and Logan stood at the end of the register staring out the window. "Getting darker earlier each day. I hate winter."

Loki nodded, "As do I."

"Still talking Shakespeare?"

Loki shrugged, "Still murdering the English language?"

Logan let out a great guffaw, "A comeback, whoa. I'm impressed." He shook Loki by the arm while the latter swatted at him.

The sun was setting as they wheeled the overloaded carts through the slushy parking lot to the big black van parked close in the third row. Ororo had reached out for the handle of the van's sliding door when all at once there came three loud bangs in succession along the side of the van. Grace who had her hands on the handle of her cart screeched, arching backwards as a snowball struck her hard between her shoulder blades. Loki whirled around to see three teenagers not more than a hundred feet away starting to run, laughing as they slipped through the snow covered parking lot heading for the side of the building to their right. "Fucking freaks!" One of them shouted behind him nearly losing his footing in the process.

Grace felt Logan brushing her off and she looked at Loki, stepping back as his image shimmered and disappeared, Ororo had been watching where the teenagers had run and Grace's yell startled her back to the group. "Where the hell did Loki go?"

The teenager slipped again just before making the corner of the building but regained his footing, still laughing breathlessly, yelled, "Guys, wait for me holy fuck!" just before the remaining breath was knocked from him by an arm across his stomach, clothes-lining him to the wet pavement behind him.

Loki bent down and snatched him up by the front of his jacket, holding his feet above the ground, "You will apologize to Miss Archer."

He carried the youth who was coughing, trying to catch his breath, kicking to get free though his feet were being dragged along behind him, up to Grace who stood there, open mouthed, staring, and set the youth before her, "Apologize."

"Hey fuck you man, fucking fre.." A loud thud followed the youth's head as it bounced off the side of the van when Loki's hand shot out, shoving the boy backwards and holding him there.

"Loki!" Ororo cried

"Continue to spew your vulgarities in front of the ladies and I shall not hesitate to rip your tongue from your mouth you rude, uncouth whoreson."

"Loki, let him go." Ororo's hand was on his arm. He glanced at her, then back at the boy, snarled at him, then relaxed his grip enough to allow the boy to slip back to the ground beside the van, but retained his hold on his jacket.

"He will apologize before he leaves."

"Alright, alright," The boy shouted, "I'm sorry, fuck!"

Logan's hand stopped Loki's forward motion before he could return the boy to his former position, "Come on, let him go, he's ignorant. Just a stupid kid. We don't want to hurt him."

"We do not?"

Logan pulled Loki's hand from the youth's jacket, the boy sliding around them and running the way his friends had gone, yelling behind him yet again, "Fucking freaks!"

The sirens in the distance made Ororo lean against the van with a hand to her forehead, "Here we go."

Loki turned to Grace, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, what the hell did you do just then? You were here then you weren't. I seem to have missed that. You're a teleporter too?"

Loki didn't answer her, instead turning her around to see the back of her jacket, "You are sure you are well?"

"Yes Loki, I'm fine, that was very chivalrous of you, even though we're going to catch hell for it."

The cop cars pulled up in the parking lot where they could see the three youths who had originally thrown the snowballs run up to the cars and point in their direction.

"We could get in the van and leave like we didn't know what happened," Logan suggested.

"Not now we can't, we've got these groceries to load, let's at least start that." Ororo slid the side door open then walked to the back and opened the large double doors in the rear. "Now Loki, you're John Connor, if you protest, I swear you won't be allowed in the library for a month."

Loki bit his lip, the library was a near nightly thing for him, as quick a reader as he was. He nodded.

They were handing the bags in to Logan when the cop cars rolled up to the van and stopped. An officer, tall, ruggedly handsome, walked up to the van and looked at the group. "We just got a call from some youths that said one of your group grabbed him and shoved him against the van here for no reason. Now I know these kids and I'm pretty sure there had to be some reason. Would any of you care to elaborate on what happened?"

Loki was silent, listening to Ororo explain what had happened, when the teens had thrown the snowballs, and when Loki had run after them, grabbing the last teen and bringing him back to the van to apologize.

"You should leave that to the police. You should have called us when it happened." He turned to Loki.

"Sir, your name please?"

"John Connor." He could see Ororo behind the officer mouth "Thank you."

"Can I see identification?" The officer held out his hand.

"I regret that I have left it at my place of residence."

The officer looked at Loki for a minute, then swept the group, "Is he for real?"

Logan's jaw tightened and he balled his hands into fists, "Yeah he is, he was brought up properly unlike the scumbag kids around here."

The officer looked at Logan, "I can't say you're completely wrong sir, however he still grabbed the teen. I'm going to try and convince them not to press charges since they started it and I know Dylan's dad is up for re-election. That's all they need is bad PR, I'd suggest, Mister Connor, that you start carrying identification in the future."

The officer turned to Ororo, had her tell him the address of the school, the phone number, and said he'd be back to talk to them in a few minutes. They watched the officer gesturing towards them, talking to the boy, pointing to the store.

Grace looked towards the pizza place at the far end of the lot beside the grocery store. "I'm going to go order pizzas, we should be done soon and it's getting later. What does everyone want."

Ororo shrugged as did the others and Grace put a hand on her hip, "I'm going to order what I want then and if no one likes it, I can't help you."

"Cheese," Ororo said, Logan adding, "Sausage, geez"

Loki shook his head, "I have no preference."

She gripped her clipboard close and headed across the parking lot to the walkway in front of the grocery store.

"Should I go with her?" Loki looked at Ororo.

"No you stay here just in case the officer has to talk to you."

He was about to protest when the officer turned and headed back to the group, stopped in front of them. "The boy said he's not going to press charges but I suggest the next time something like this happens, you call the police instead of trying to handle it yourself, okay?" He glanced at Loki, "And you get some I.D on you."

The officer nodded to them and trotted back to his cruiser.

"Come on," Ororo slid the side door closed while Logan slammed the back doors shut. "Let's go eat if we can."

Loki stared off into the distance, listening to the others talk as they waited for the pizza.

"I thought for sure that we were going to end up at the police station." Logan gestured at Loki, "That was quite a trick though. I didn't know blue boy had taught you a few tricks."

He half heard Logan, his mind as far away as his attention, "He did not teach me this one."

Grace heard the flat tone of his voice and put a hand on his thigh causing him to jerk away though he didn't look at her. He felt her slide away from him a bit and his mood grew darker.

"This is what I mean, can you imagine if Kurt had been with us?" Ororo took a sip of soda.

"Yes, he would have cornered them all and dragged them back by his teeth." Loki muttered.

"And maybe gone to jail for it. Violence is not always the answer." Grace chided him,

"And what of this code of Hammurabi that I have heard of, an eye for an eye? Does that not make more sense?"

Grace folded her arms, "I would think that Kurt would have schooled you on the bible with all the time you spend in his company. What about turning the other cheek?"

"What about "Vengeance is mine?" we have discussed the bible indeed."

"Guys, pizza?" Ororo put her hands up to silence them as the waiter set the pizza in the middle of the table. Ororo handed out the plates, Grace taking Loki's and setting it before him when he kept his gaze on the table top.

As she handed out the slices, Grace put one on Loki's plate. "You might want to eat. It's a long time until breakfast."

She watched him for a moment, shrugged when he didn't move and picked up her own slice.

After a time, his stomach won out and he made short work of the slice before him.

"Do you want another?" Grace asked, handing him another when he wordlessly held out his plate to her.

"Yeah a little meat on them bones wouldn't hurt you a bit." Logan quipped.

It was approaching seven in the evening by the time they left the pizza parlour and piled into the van for the ride home, Logan up front talking to Ororo, Loki and Grace in the bucket seats across the way from each other. He had leaned his head back against the rest and closed his eyes, trying to force from his mind the still present images of himself taking the boy by the throat, crushing his windpipe until his fingers met through muscle, bone and flesh, finally cracking his skull on the pavement. Grace slid a gloved hand into his own as it dangled by his side and this time he squeezed her fingers gently in response.

"Thank you," She whispered. "For giving that little shit hell."

He turned his head towards her, raised her hand and planted a kiss just below the knuckles. She could feel the pressure of his lips on the leather for a brief second, her mouth dry, heart beating a staccato rhythm in her chest as he let her hand go and returned to his former position. She touched the spot on her glove furtively, pressing her thumb to it as if to hold the kiss in place and closed her own eyes to rest, unaware of Loki's gaze across the expanse of the van's interior.

They had finished putting the food away in the large refrigerators by ten. Grace had then excused herself and headed upstairs to her rooms where she had set down on the bed and drawn her gloves off, holding them in her hands, the events of the day replaying in her mind. Loki revealing yet another talent, defending her honor, kissing her hand, that was the big one. She'd wanted to keep holding his hand but knew full well that wouldn't have gone unnoticed by Ororo or Logan of course most of all by Loki.

The time they were spending together nowadays felt like a gift. A barrier had been crossed that night in the kitchen. They had subsequently begun to spend their free time together and when she would see in her head the images she had received from him when there had been nothing but pain and rage and destruction in his mind seemed like a forgotten nightmare, no more so than the times when they seemed so close, so intimate, something she'd never had before, that she'd had to step back and remind herself that he wasn't hers to have. The night they'd read poetry to each other had been particularly difficult, listening to him, his voice, feeling his shoulder, hip, touching her own, she had forced herself to leave, willing herself not to run from the room for the impossible thoughts she'd been entertaining. Now he had defended her, put himself in danger. If that punk had decided to tell the cops his name, it surely would've gotten to Fury in New York that he'd been in trouble, that might have initiated another visit from Thor. He'd taken a great chance in doing what he did and it left her to wonder how deep his feelings ran in return.

She stood up and put the gloves on her nightstand, pulling her dark blue sweater over her head and tossing it in the laundry basket beside the bathroom door, unzipping her jeans and stepping from them where they joined the sweater in the basket as she walked into the bathroom, emerging minutes later in a long nightgown, sliding between the sheets and turning out her nightstand light, the grey-blue light of a snowy sky casting a shadowless glow into the window beside the sitting area. She sighed then, reached to the nightstand, pulled her gloves onto her pillow and closed her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Grace, Logan, Kurt, Scott, and Cookie stole glances at the small TV set on the table while they did food prep. Loki stood over by the sink, peeling potatoes, watching the group watch TV.

"Why don't you come over here and join us?" Logan called over to him.

"I have seen enough of New York, I need not be reminded of what it looks like."

"Oh look, it's Tony Stark, he's in the suit!" Cookie cried, "Oh my gawd he's gorgeous."

Loki winced at the mention of the name, looked up to see Grace give him a half-hearted smile which he returned. She got up from the table with a tray of foil wrapped sweet potatoes, walked to one of the industrial ovens and slid the tray inside, then ambled over and stood beside Loki who gave her a gentle nudge with his elbow.

"Don't mind Cookie, Stark has got nothing on you." She winked at Loki and chuckled. "Have you thought of what you're thankful for today?"

Loki looked at her, a wry smile on his lips, "You know full well what I am most thankful for." He touched his fingers to her cheek as she leaned on the counter watching the TV from across the room feeling her smile, the heat from her skin as a blush rose to it.

"Well the feeling is mutual."

Loki slid the knife through the potato on the chopping board before him, "Oh?"

She glanced up at him, "Yes, you sound surprised."

Loki's eyes slid to hers, "Thankful is not a word I often associate with myself."

She touched his arm, "You'll get used to it." and returned to the kitchen table where she sat down beside Kurt who grinned and handed her another sweet potato.

The tables in the great hall had been set by the remaining students. Candles on pedestals with colorful maple leaf garlands woven around them sat in the centers. A roaring fire in the massive main fireplace threw heat across the room where everyone had finally taken their seats. It had been a gargantuan effort but with the students pitching in, they had managed to bring everything together with nearly perfect timing.

Grace sat on one side of Loki, Kurt on the opposite. The students, remaining faculty, passing dishes, serving, talking, until Ororo tapped her glass with her fork and the hall fell silent.

"Before we begin, let's join hands and recall all we're thankful for this holiday season. Life is precious, if we only learn to recognize this, we can see how truly blessed we are here today."

Loki had interlaced his fingers with hers, the brief intimacy flushing her from head to toe. They broke the connection then as the hall erupted again in talk and laughter accompanied by the clink of glass, clang of metal.

"It is a good thing, Thanksgiving." Kurt held up his glass of wine and bid Loki and those around them do the same, "A toast to my family, you are far more dan friends to me, Prost!" Loki raised his glass of wine, "Skoal." in response, the rest to their respective sayings. As he drained his glass, an undeniable feeling, stronger than he'd had before, broke over him. If it had been unsure before, the night had cemented it, this was home, he had been seeking a place where he could feel wanted, loved even, if it was possible he'd found it all here. He paused. Not all, he was still without Sarah, still unable to join her in her time of need. He sat back in his chair and felt a hand on his shoulder, turning to see the other dilemma in his life gazing up at him with such admiration and concern that he had to sit forward and refill his wine glass to stop himself from leaning over and kissing her, as he tried to ignore the aching throb in his groin the mere thought of touching her had brought over him.

Students and faculty were beginning to bring their dishes to the clean up carts. Loki took her plate for her and his own as well, she carrying the glasses and silverware. After they'd put them in the carts, she turned to Loki,

"Are you going to come to the common room and watch "A Christmas Carol"?"

He shook his head, "No, I am tired, I believe I shall retire for the evening."

She looked crestfallen, "You want company?" and worse when he shook his head again.

"No Grace, do not be upset. I just wish to sleep, perhaps be alone with my thoughts."

She nodded, in a quiet voice, "Thinking about Sarah?"

"Yes." he watched her wring her gloved hands absently and at once wrapped his arms around her neck while she encircled his waist with hers, felt him kiss the top of her head, take a deep breath.

"I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"As always."

He saw her from the great hall and watched her walk down the hallway towards the common room before he trudged up the stairs with his thoughts.

The mansion had gone silent by eleven thirty. Students retiring to their rooms, faculty turned in for the evening. Light snow was falling, flurries. Loki had drifted into a dreamless sleep, fueled by the wine and a full stomach. He'd not had more than five minutes to ponder much beyond the time on the clock sitting on the nightstand before his eyes had closed.

The radiator near the window had thumped as the heat began to circulate throughout the floors and it pulled him to consciousness. He raised himself on one elbow and looked out the window at the snow drifting by the windowpane, peered at the time on the clock and lay back down on the pillow, letting his mind drift further and further until with effort he was able to find Sarah.

He sat up, face drawn in a mad rage, he swung his legs over the floor, his hands raking his hair from his face, lips drawn in a grimace. He had seen Sarah in a kitchen with the only light over the sink for illumination. He had been made to see Thor put his hand behind Sarah's head, drawing her into a deep kiss, leaning over her swollen belly. She had not pushed him from her, had given in to passion, returning the kiss, her hands pulling him by the shoulders, and he had broken the connection.

He pulled his boots on, leaned down and pulled the duffel from underneath his bed. It still held the old clothes he'd arrived with. He set it on the bed, took the long jacket that hung on the back of his door and shrugged it on, grabbed the duffel and slung it over his shoulder, shutting the door softly as he walked out into the hallway and towards the stairs to the foyer below.

Grace had set up her chart for next week and was studying it, unable to sleep after the excitement of the festivities and the exchange between Loki and herself. The kiss on the head, the hug she never wanted to break. They were all serving to make her head swim. She rubbed her hands together and held them out to the small fire she'd started when she came upstairs. Her gloves sat next to the chart where she'd left them when she walked into her rooms. She stood up to stretch and ambled over to the window to watch the snow. Movement a ways down the drive caught her eye and she rubbed the window to clear the frost from it. Someone was walking down the driveway in the snow. She cupped her hands to the window to shut out the ambient light so she could see better.

She whirled around so quickly that she nearly fell forward over the arm of the nearest easy chair, she pivoted around it and scrambled to pull a pair of jeans from the hamper while she tossed her nightgown onto the bed. She wrestled her bra on, yanked up her jeans and threw on the t-shirt she'd worn that morning while working, dragged her boots from under her bed and shoved them on her feet, all the while watching out the window. She grabbed her coat from the back of her door and ran out leaving the door wide open, scrambling down the stairs into the foyer, out the front door into the courtyard and the snowy twilight.

Loki heard the crunch of the ice and snow beneath his boots, his breath coming out in white mist as he kept up a quick pace towards the front gate some distant. The crunch of another pair of boots in the distance and a whispered shout, "Loki!" brought him up short. "Where are you going?" She hissed.

"I am going to New York, return to the mansion, Grace." Loki looked over his shoulder.

"Do you know what they'll do to you if you show up in Manhattan alone?" She took another step towards him, her feet slipping on the snowy pavement. Loki resumed his pace, long strides forcing her to trot in the snow at the side of the drive.

"Loki, stop please!" She shouted, beyond caring who heard her.

"Loki stopped and turned around, "I am losing her!" His face was contorted in rage, anguish,

"My brother seeks to take my place in her heart. I have seen them in the passion of a kiss. I can stand by and watch no longer."

He turned back and continued on.

"Loki, wait," she reached out a hand to grab his arm and realized her hands were bare, she snatched them back, "I can't touch you, please."

He spun around then, stalked up to her until he was inches from her face, "Even if you could touch me, you could not stop me." he backed away from her, ready to resume his path but she put her hand out, hovering above his arm, "Think of what you've built here, the friends you've made, the lives you've touched. You've told me that this was the happiest you'd ever been being here with us. Maybe this is where you're supposed to be."

Without warning, his hands shot out, gripping hers tightly. She cried out as if struck and made to pull away but he held her fast for a few moments more before releasing her with a great indrawn breath. She cradled her hands to her chest,

"Why did you do that? You know it works both ways."

Thinking of nothing but putting distance between herself and Loki, she turned to run, slipping in the snow and landing on her hands and knees hard, panting.

Seconds passed, then Loki bent over to help her up.

"Don't touch me," She growled remaining on the ground until she heard his voice, soft, "I am so sorry, Grace."

The tears rolled unchecked down her nose to drip onto the snow below, "I've avoided this all my life. I never wanted to see inside anyone. I can't pick and choose the thoughts I want to see, they all come at me like a tidal wave, relentless." She was crying harder now, her knees giving way as she started to sink to the ground. She felt a hand at her back, shaking it off at first then letting him help her to her feet where she brushed the snow from her jeans, turned to look at him once more then whirled around and started off to return to the mansion, so hurt, so angry that she didn't bother even to see if he was following her. Once in the foyer, she started up the stairs, only getting half way before she stopped, refusing to face him, "Why did you do that? Take my hands when you knew what was going to happen?"

Loki put his hand on the newel post at the bottom of the stairs, "I wished to know what you stood to gain by keeping me here."

"And did you get an answer?" Even from a distance, he could see her trembling,

"Yes."

She said nothing in response, simply resumed walking up the stairs, leaving Loki at the bottom, the front door wide open. Loki glanced out the door, then up the stairs and put his forehead against the post in his hands.

Grace heard the front door slam shut, refusing to go to the window, instead sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her, listening to the click and hiss of the radiator. She had seen into his thoughts as well. The times he had struggled to maintain a safe distance from her, the night he had admitted to himself that he was falling in love, how close he'd come to kissing her on more than one occasion, the urge tonight being the strongest.

She put her hands to her temples in search of a way to stop the thoughts, the images. He was gone. She should have run to Ororo's office and told her he was leaving but maybe in light of what she now knew, it was better like this, safer. She had thought that her infatuation only went one way, she had certainly not imagined that he shared it and the realization aroused and terrified her all at once. By the time she managed to close her eyes in sleep, the sky was beginning to lighten outside her window.

When she saw Loki sitting with Kurt, their heads bowed together in conversation, she nearly dropped her breakfast tray, Kitty at her ear asking her if she was alright, just about finishing the job. She sat her tray down on the nearest table, fighting the urge to walk up to Loki and slap him on principal.

"I'm fine. I had a long night."

Kitty sat down with her, "Are we going to go shopping like you said?"

Grace thought about it for a minute, "You know what, yeah we will." anything to be away from the man who was currently holding her heart in his hand.

She picked up her knife and was in the process of spreading butter on her toast when she heard the chair to her right scrape the floor.

"Miss Pryde, would you excuse us for a moment, I wish to talk to Grace."

She held the knife in mid air, not daring to look left to Kitty or right to Loki.

"Uh, sure, Grace I'll talk to you in a few, okay?" Grace watched Kitty walk away then heard in Loki's voice close in her ear.

"You are surprised to see me." She jumped, closed her eyes, wanting to turn and kiss him, hit him.

She pursed her lips together, trying to stop any words from escaping even though the thoughts were coming hard and fast.

"Will you not speak to me then?"

She gripped the knife tightly, angry that she was shaking, heard the chair scrape against the floor again as he started to stand up.

"What made you stay?" She tried to keep her voice steady.

She turned towards him then, sorry that she had, their faces inches from one another. She studied his face, caught his gaze, holding it for longer than she should have, then backing away from him.

"You have." He looked down at the table then at her again. "Why do I have the feeling that you are not happy to see that I stayed last night?"

"I'm ecstatic, I'm just keeping it all inside."

He sat down beside her. "Your actions speak otherwise."

She shook her head and looked at him, "What do you want me to do, jump up and down and yell and scream? "

"What you want to do and what you shall do are two entirely different things, are they not?"

She bit her lip, "I could say the same for you."

He chuckled and she could see a wry smile form on his face, "Indeed, a wise reply"

"I couldn't sleep last night because of you. Of course I'm surprised to see you. I expected you to be half way to New York by now."

"Is that what you would have preferred?" He sat back in the chair.

"No,"

He stood back up, "That is all I wished to know."

Before he could walk away, she made a small sound, a whine in her throat and he paused,

"Loki, I've never been this close to anyone before and I'm scared."

He furtively raised a hand and brushed his fingers against her cheek. She had all she could do not to lean into his touch, "I will not hurt you, Grace, your happiness is my happiness. We are still friends, are we not?"

She nodded, a small smile on her face, "Still friends." glancing up to see him return the smile and then he was gone. She could no longer admit that she cared what had happened in the past between Sarah and Loki. As mad as she had been at him, her heart had wanted to break when she'd heard the door close last night, thinking he was heading to find someone who didn't care about him like she did, sure about her assessment. Sarah would have made every effort to come and see him, if she had cared by even half. Grace was sure that if it had been her, she would have moved Heaven and Earth to be with him. Her gaze flickered over to where he'd resumed his seat beside Kurt, his eyes meeting hers briefly, speaking volumes without a word being uttered. She felt exhilarated, as if she could fly, though she had to temper her enthusiasm, she wanted to shout from the rooftops, tell the whole world that she was in love.

Kitty and Grace pulled into the Berkshire shopping center at about ten that morning. They were forced to park a distance away.

"Well at least it's not snowing." Kitty grumbled as they shuffled through the slush at the curb and into the mall entrance.

"Do we have a direction here?" Grace studied the stores lined up before her, spying a Joann's Fabric store at the far end of the wing they were standing in and was suddenly struck by an idea.

"Follow me."

She held the skein of green and soft yellow yarn in her hand. It had been years since she had touched a pair of knitting needles. She'd left them behind with her last foster home. Grandmother Ellis had been the only one to pay attention to her and at fifteen that had meant a lot to a troubled young girl. She'd shown her how to knit and it had stayed with her, even now she would see a pretty skein of yarn and feel the urge to buy a pair of needles but this time she had a purpose. She took another skein in her hands, looking at the label on the side. "Size seven needles." She mumbled.

"Huh?" Kitty was fingering another skein in the rack before her.

"Just saying the size needle I need."

Kitty had picked up a skein of yarn in pale blues and browns, "You think you could teach me to knit?"

Grace nodded, "I could teach you, yeah. It's been a long time since I've done it though. I'm going to grab a book to refresh my memory."

"What size needles would I need?" Kitty was peering at the label, turning the skein over and over until Grace took it from her and read it.

"Seven like mine, come on, if you're serious, I'll help you."

By four that afternoon, they were tired and hungry. They put their day's purchases in the van and got in.

"Well do you want to find someplace to eat or head back to the school?" Grace asked as she put the van in gear.

"There's that Boston Market on Newtown road."

Grace nodded, "That's fine with me."

They sat in the busy restaurant talking about their purchases over the din of holiday shoppers.

"I know Kurt was talking about how dog-eared the cover of his bible was getting so I know he'll like the cover I got for him."

Kitty took a drink of her lemonade, "I hope I got Piotr's size right, I told him I was going to replace that old hoodie of his." She took a bite of her chicken, "What are you going to make with the yarn you bought?"

Grace colored at the question, "Oh it's going to sound corny."

Kitty smiled and waved her hand, "Come on, tell me."

"I'm knitting a scarf for someone." Grace didn't look up but kept her attention on her plate.

"For Loki?"

She tried to fight the smile that was forcing its way out, "Yeah, corny huh?"

"Corny," Kitty wrinkled her nose, "But sweet. I'm sure he'll like it. He'd like anything you make."

"Oh?" She fiddled with the food on her plate, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, duh, he's head over heels for you, he follows you around like a puppy. I honestly can't believe it when everyone says he's like a god or something. I mean really, he's like a big teenager sometimes."

"That's because he's a man, you know they don't ever age mentally past sixteen, and honestly you're seeing things, Kit." Grace shook her head, watched a family with Santa hats walk past, singing "Jingle Bells" at the top of their lungs.

"Yes I am seeing things, I'm seeing you cuddling up with him on movie nights, taking dinner together, teasing each other, that poetry night when he read the hottest poem directly to you." Kitty observed Grace's movements becoming more exaggerated and she laughed, "And you are still going to deny it?"

"Kitty, you do know he's seeing someone right?"

Kitty's head popped up, "From the school?"

"No she's in New York, she's an agent with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"That Hollywood operation?" Kitty snorted, "All they're interested in is making a big show of things. All the super hero stuff with Captain America and Iron Man.."

"And Loki's brother, I think they did exceptionally well last summer don't you?" She closed her eyes at the memory of what she'd seen through Loki's twisted thoughts, the pain he'd gone through, the despair, the ever agonizing presence of The Other. She shook her head to clear it.

"So then he's seeing this woman? I've never seen her visit him at school and he hasn't gone to see her has he?"

"No," Grace finished the last of her iced tea, "He hasn't seen her in months and she hasn't made the effort to come see him either."

"Why hasn't he gone to see her?" Kitty piled her tray with her trash and stood up, Grace following suit.

"He's supposed to stay away from Manhattan per the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't know why." She lied, feeling a bit dirty for it though she wanted to keep Loki's reputation relatively intact at the school.

"But she's allowed to visit the school right?"

Grace shrugged, "I would assume so unless the director has her corralled too."

Kitty snapped her fingers as they walked across the parking lot to the van, "Then as far as I'm concerned she fumbled the ball, he's fair game. You get yourself a piece of that."

Grace feigned shock, "How crude!" smiled, "I'd say let's keep this a secret but I guess it's too late for that huh?"

Kitty hauled herself up into the van, grabbing the seat belt and locking herself in, "I think the only ones in the school that don't know you two are an item are you and him."

Grace pulled out of the parking lot onto the road, "Just let's not talk about it in public, okay? I don't want to have rumors going around the school."

Kitty drew her fingers across her lips, "Zipped and locked, but I'm warning you the rumors are already out there."

Grace rolled her eyes, "I'll just have to dispel them, won't I."

"Good luck with that." Kitty shoved Grace's arm, "All you'll have to do is avoid him."

Grace frowned, "I think that's pretty much impossible, trust me, I've tried."

"Like I said," Kitty nodded, "Good luck with that."


	10. Chapter 10

"How many inches of dis white stuff are ve supposed to get, mein gott?" Kurt exclaimed, shivering, tucking his tail underneath him as he snuggled further into the easy chair closest to the fireplace. Logan peered out the large arched window, "Enough that we're probably gonna have to shovel all day tomorrow. I gotta teach Shayna to direct that fire of hers. She could melt the snow off the driveway for us."

Kurt chuckled, "Ororo says shoveling is good exercise, I vould love to see her exercise vith us."

"I'll tell her that, Kurt." Logan winked at him, "Loki, hey, are you with us here?"

Loki had been sitting in the chair beside the couch watching Kitty and Grace who were currently occupied, their heads bent together as Grace watched Kitty knitting the first row from the yarn on her needle.

"It's his favorite show," he looked at Kurt and cocked a thumb towards Loki, "Hey, pal, time for a commercial break." Kurt hid his smile behind his hand as Loki turned his head to Logan but kept his eyes still trained on Grace's hands.

"What?"

Logan walked up to him and clapped his hands, "On the count of three, you will wake up feeling refreshed.." He smiled as he heard Kurt snicker.

"What, Logan, what?" Loki put his hands out, "I am paying attention."

"Yeah to the girls. We were deciding who was going to shovel snow tomorrow and in light of your inattention, you should go first."

"I do believe that there is more than one shovel in the foyer closet, feel free to join me." Loki cast them both a glance, eyes narrowed.

"Hey we're in charge of hauling that damned tree into the common room tomorrow, you wanna trade jobs?" Logan put his hands on his hips but Loki shook his head,

"I shall be in the kitchen learning how to make something called Christmas cookies."

Logan stared at Grace and Kitty, "Did you guys put him up to that? I mean baking for chris'sakes."

"Well it's a lot more fun than trying to wrestle a ten foot tree into a large metal stand.." Grace pointed at Logan with a needle and Logan looked at Kurt,

"I got the feeling we've been rooked, pal."

Kurt buried his nose in his bible, "Indeed, ve maybe should take Loki's lead next time."

Loki returned his attention to Grace, "I must ask, whatever are you doing?"

"Knitting, don't they do that where you come from?"

He reached over and fingered the yarn, "The domestics do, yes, to make cloth or lace or bed covers. Why do you do it?"

"For pleasure, because I enjoy it. It's called a hobby."

He picked up the skein and held it in his hands.

"Hey don't pull too hard, you're going to make me drop stitches." Grace tugged the strand of yarn from her needle, creating some slack.

"The colors are my standard, green and gold."

"Standard?" Logan looked over at Loki, "What do ya mean?"

Loki handed the skein back to Grace, "My royal colors. The colors I bear on my court dress and battle armor."

"Like that armor your brother wore that day?"

Loki frowned at the mention of Thor, "Much different, I could show you," he stood from the chair.

Logan gestured back to him, "Okay then, show us."

Emerald gold light shimmered around Loki's form, his feet, legs, to his hips, waist, across his chest, over his shoulders to his head, until he was clothed in the elaborate leather and metal armor, burnished gold pauldrons on his shoulders, gorget, long dark green leather great coat, bracers on his forearms, long leather boots, and a great dark gold helmet with long rear curving horns.

Grace had seen enough and she averted her gaze until Loki walked up to the couch and stopped before her. "Do you not like my battle armor?"

She could see the tips of his boots but refused to look up, "I've seen it before, that was enough."

It took him a few moments to realize what she meant, waving his hands apart, dissolving the image of the armor from his body. "Forgive me." he said softly as he sat back down in the chair.

"That was a hell of a helmet, I didn't know they made 'em that big. It's gotta be rough keeping that shit steady when you're swinging a sword and all that." Logan sat down on the couch opposite Grace and Kitty, "Pretty impressive though, long horn."

Loki glared at Logan, "I rather think so pussy cat."

Grace burst out laughing, "Pussy cat! That's perfect, thank you, Loki." She smiled at Logan, "Pussy cat."

Logan gave her the finger first, then aimed it at Loki who was smiling with her, "I'm heading to bed, Loki?" he looked up at Logan, "Kiss my ass. Grace, you too."

Logan strode out of the library shaking his head.

"Pussy cat." Kurt giggled, "Ja, das is funny."

Kitty held up the knitting needles with two rows of knitting hanging from it, "How am I doing?"

"Good," Grace took the needles from her and inspected the work. "Just keep going."

Grace wrapped her needles in a few strand of yarn to secure them with the skein and put the whole of it in a small canvas bag at her feet.

"I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day and we've got stuff to do tomorrow."

Loki stood with Grace, "Please allow me to walk you to your rooms."

"You don't always have to be so formal, Loki. Come on."

There were a few students in the hall and they waved to Grace and Loki as they passed.

"I am sorry, Grace. I did not mean to upset you."

Grace's sad smile faded a bit, "When I saw you like that, it just made what I saw in your mind a bit more real and I'd rather labor under the idea that it was a dream instead."

"That I was what I was I cannot change but I assure you, I am what I was no longer."

She nodded, "I know, I just don't want to be reminded of it."

"Then you never shall be. When do you wish me to be in the kitchen tomorrow?"

She stopped at her door, set the canvas bag on the floor and drew out her clipboard, "Um, I guess ten or so. After breakfast anyway, why, are you eating breakfast somewhere else?"

Loki nodded, "I asked to speak with Ororo tomorrow morning for a bit, I need her help with something."

Grace felt a small stab of jealousy, "Is it something I could help you with?"

"No, it is more suited to Miss Munroe's talents."

He saw her face darken and he grinned, cupped her chin with his thumb and forefinger, "Do not feel slighted, what I do is a secret and that is the purpose of a secret, to keep it, am I correct?"

She gave a slight nod and eyed him, "Okay that's a good enough argument, I guess."

He leaned over suddenly and kissed her on the forehead, "Sleep well my fair lady."

She waited until he had disappeared down the stairs at the far end of the hall to enter her rooms, her smile wide, her stomach quivering with the press of his lips to her skin. She wrapped her arms about herself as she stared out the window at the falling snow, happier than she had been in many years.

Ororo moved the mouse and clicked on another link, "What about this?"

Loki stood over her shoulder, watching the screen, "I do not know, I am entirely new to this. I mean we give gifts for special occasions, weddings and births and the like but I suppose I have not been in a position like this before. I wish it to be something special for her. Wait."

Ororo stopped scrolling, "What?"

Realization dawned on Loki's face, "What is it that she has with her every day, every night?"

"Her clipboard?" Ororo looked up at Loki, "You want to get her a new clipboard?"

"No, her gloves, she wears them to keep herself...safe."

"I think you mean sane. Okay then what kind?"

Loki stood back, "Leather, dark green and gold. I am sure of it."

Ororo typed his parameters into the search bar and hit go. As they waited, Ororo turned to him, "So you're getting a bit serious with Miss Archer then."

"I am friends with her, friends buy presents for one another, do they not?"

Ororo looked at the screen, "Yes they do, but I wasn't talking about the present. Logan talks a lot sometimes."

Loki pursed his lips together, "I was not aware that Logan had an opinion about my relationship with Grace. What does he say?"

"That you two spend a lot of time together. No communication with Sarah in New York I gather?"

Loki's jaw clenched involuntarily, "She has taken up with my brother."

"I'm sorry," Ororo continued to scroll the screen. "I didn't know things weren't going well with you two."

"They go not at all. She is in New York, I am here. I have neither seen nor heard from her since I arrived in September."

"Is she still an agent?"

Loki shrugged, "You would do better to ask Fury."

Ororo pointed to a pair of gloves on the screen, they were dark green with rich yellow lining and yellow laces at the wrists. "What about these?"

Loki smiled, "Yes, would you be so kind as to purchase them for me, I shall pay you."

She nodded, "Would you like me to talk to Fury about Sarah, maybe I could reason with him."

"Be my guest, Ororo, though I believe you will get as far as I did. I do not think she mourns my loss."

"But how would you know? You said you haven't talked to her."

Loki stepped away from the desk, "In the same way that I knew she had kissed Thor this past Thanksgiving, I am a telepath, our minds have been intertwined since we..." He stopped, "the connection must be strong to read her over such a distance and I find I can no longer see her as well as I had in the past." He brought a hand to his forehead and rubbed it, "I must go, Grace is waiting for me."

He was at the door of Ororo's office when she spoke again, "You're not sure anymore are you, Loki."

"Of what am I not sure?" He tilted his head, stared at her.

"Of Sarah,"

Loki held her gaze for a few more seconds, opened the door and walked out into the hall. Instead of heading towards the kitchen, he started back down the hall to his rooms.

Grace was in the staff kitchen surrounded by bowls and cookie sheets and an old beaten up recipe card. She glanced up at the clock for the hundredth time. It was nearly eleven-thirty in the morning. She had asked Kurt if he'd seen Loki but he said he hadn't. She thought about asking Logan to find him and had a sudden terrifying thought, what if he had finally decided to leave, to head to the city?

She told Cookie that she would be right back and she headed for the common room where Logan, Kurt and Piotr were securing the Christmas tree in it's large stand near the massive arched window beside the fireplace.

"You guys haven't seen Loki, have you?" She tugged at Kurt's rolled up shirtsleeve.

"Ach, no my liebling. He vas supposed to be vith you. Has he not shown up?" Kurt grunted as the tree swayed a bit towards him and he grabbed the branches a bit harder to steady it.

"He was supposed to meet me at ten. I wonder if he's in his room."

"So go see," Logan called from the other side of the tree, "He should be here helping us. He ain't helping you either?"

"No?..." She looked around the room as if expecting him to materialize from thin air.

"You thinking he flew the coop, Grace?" Logan came around the tree and stood before her, arms crossed.

"I gotta go." Grace had a distracted look on her face, as if she was thinking hard.

"You want I should come with?" Logan turned to Kurt who nodded.

"He's probably in his room but...why didn't he come and tell me?"

Grace trotted out of the room, Logan following her, "I'll be right back guys, feel free to finish without me."

Grace knocked on Loki's door once, then again, cautiously tried the handle which gave beneath her fingers and swung the door open.

"Hello, anyone home?" She crept inside and scanned the sun filled room, then to the bathroom which was also empty.

"Unless he's invisible, he's not here." Logan bent and peered under the bed.

"Well where the hell can he be? Let's try the library."

They arrived at the library a couple minutes later, seeing at once that it was filled with students studying, reading. Grace asked them if they'd seen Loki that morning but they all answered in the negative. She looked at Logan, her concern growing, "Okay where the hell could he go?"

They walked through the breezeway into the big garage and called out to him, receiving no answer, as they walked around the perimeter, finally returning to the mansion.

She trotted down the hallway, "I'm going to talk to Ororo, he said he had a meeting with her."

"He left my office around ten-thirty, he said he was going to see you." Ororo looked out the window beside her desk, "Is he out shoveling?"

"We haven't checked outside yet." Logan scratched his head, "I don't know, it ain't like him not to be someplace when he says he's going to."

"I'll tell him you're looking for him if he comes back, keep me informed alright?"

Grace nodded, "We will."

After another half hour of looking, they were sure they'd swept the entire campus.

"Maybe we're just missing him." Logan stroked his chin.

"Oh this is just strange." Grace put her hands on her hips, trying not to sound as panicked as she felt. "Let's walk down to the lake, maybe he's taking a walk."

"I guess, whatever you say but personally I'm going to take the snowmobile. You wanna walk go ahead." Logan made to walk away but Grace stood there, her hand over her mouth.

"Grace, I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Ororo had come around the desk and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Ororo, I'm going to take the van and drive out to the interstate. It's only been a couple of hours, if he's walking anywhere, he wouldn't have gotten that far, maybe a few miles."

"Unless he was hitchhiking again and someone picked him up." Logan added, receiving a glare from Ororo.

"You go ahead, take the van, we'll keep looking for him here okay? Just drive careful, don't panic."

Ororo and Logan watched Grace sail from the office and looked at each other.

"You really don't think he's flown the coop do ya?" Logan asked as they headed out into the hallway.

"He was acting fine this morning then we started to talk about Sarah and he got really quiet. I probably should have shut my mouth but you know me, always trying to help."

"Ah, yeah maybe Grace had the right idea then. I just hope she don't run him the hell over, she's got a temper sometimes."

When Grace had finally returned to the mansion alone and in tears, she had been met in the foyer by Kitty, Kurt and Logan. When they had told her that he was indeed missing, she had pushed past them and run upstairs to her rooms, slamming the door shut and dropping into the easy chair, her hands covering her face as she tried to contain her grief to a manageable level. By suppertime, they were convinced that Loki was gone. Kurt and Logan sat at the table in the staff kitchen.

"That's just not right, doing that to her, the poor kid is a mess." Logan tapped his fingers on the table.

"And to us as vell, his freunds, and the kinder, vat vill dey think ven he isn't in class anymore?"

"When we do find him, and I'm sure he'll turn up again eventually, because if he don't I'm going to hunt him down and kick his ass, I'll kick his ass."

Logan got up and walked to the refrigerator, "Hey, one of my six packs is missing, damn it. How many times have I gotta tell people leave my beer alone." He took a beer out and popped it open, taking a long swig.

"I am going to go to der chapel to pray. I need it." Kurt swung his legs down to the floor, picked up his bible from the table, and headed out of the kitchen.

"Wait up, I'll walk with ya but don't expect any Hail Mary's out of me."

The chapel on the grounds was nestled in a small clearing about a hundred yards from the main mansion. Kurt and Logan opened the double doors and walked inside, the only light in the building from the recessed lighting in the foyer and the ambient light that was quickly fading coming in through the stained glass windows. Kurt brought the ceiling lights up by half and the altar with its white marble statue of Jesus, arms outstretched, glowed in the darkness.

Kurt walked up the middle aisle and stopped before the steps to the altar, making the sign of the cross while Logan slid into one of the bench seats and stared up at the high ceiling.

Kurt whispered the Lord's Prayer and was reaching into his vest pocket for his rosary beads, his head turned to the left when his eyes swept upward to find Loki, lying stretched across the front bench, seemingly asleep, a line of six beers on the floor beside him.

"Logan!" Kurt hissed, his voice echoing off the cavernous walls, "Come here."

Logan trotted up beside Kurt, looking to where he was pointing and then started to lunge forward but Kurt held his arm.

"He is asleep and I think he is drunk. Dere is your six pack on der floor."

"All the more reason for me to kick his ass." Logan replied, receiving a punch in the arm from Kurt.

"No svearing or fighting in church. Now let's vake him up gently, den you may take him outside and...do vat you vere talking about."

"Loki," Logan leaned over him, "You ain't getting a kiss sleeping beauty." He shook him by the shoulder as Kurt picked up the last of the beer bottle just in time. Loki jerked awake, dropping off the narrow bench onto the wooden floor, scrambling to his hands and knees, looking for purchase with one hand to draw himself up to the bench again.

Logan reached down and hauled him up, depositing him back to sit on the bench, then put his foot on the bench and glared at him, "Kurt, before I start, save the penitence until I'm finished alright?" He grabbed Loki by the front of his shirt and jostled him hard, "You have thrown the goddamn school into a panic, particularly one good woman who is right now probably crying her eyes out in her rooms. What the hell were you thinking?"

Loki had brought his hands up in defense, "I am sorry, truly I am. I could not face her today."

"So you came here to get drunk, in a church?" Logan looked around him.

"I came here to think upon what was happening to me. About Sarah and Grace. I cannot escape the fact that I love Grace and I have tried to reconcile the fact that Sarah is all but gone from me. I do not know what will happen to the babies when they are born. I may never see them."

'Babies?' Kurt and Logan mouthed to each other, "Pal, tell me you're talking about Sarah, not Grace?"

"Yes, Sarah. But I love Grace though I be a fool for doing so."

Logan hauled him up to stand on wobbly legs, "Why are you a fool? I mean besides the stunt you pulled?"

"She is another Midgardian woman, and as such I risk my heart again, a heart I did not know I still had."

Logan tightened his grip, "A good Midgardian woman, don't you downplay her."

Loki shook his head and groaned for it, "I do not, she is wonderful, beautiful, kind."

Loki's legs gave way a bit and Logan put his arm over his shoulder, "When she hears we've found you, I think you'll change your tune, she's going to kill ya."

Grace had cried herself to sleep in the chair and the knock on the door startled her awake. She padded to the door on bare feet and opened it to find Logan standing there. "We found him."

Grace flew into Logan's arms and hugged him, "Oh my god where the hell was he?"

"You wouldn't believe it, he was in the chapel, the one place we didn't look. He's pretty drunk too. Come on he's in his rooms, if you want to beat the shit outta him at least you can do it in private."

Loki was lying on his bed talking to Kurt who was standing beside it when the door opened letting Logan and then Grace inside. Loki sat up, a repentant look on his face as Grace started to slap him across the chest, punctuating her words with each hit, "What...the...hell...were...you ….thinking?"

Kurt motioned to Logan for the door, "Loki, ve vill talk to you later." He saw Loki give him a look of panic and shrugged.

Grace had stopped hitting him and now was standing, her arms wrapped around her chest as the door closed behind them.

"I am sorry Grace, I did not mean to scare you. I needed to be alone today." Loki stood from the bed, bracing himself, feet apart.

"So you couldn't come and tell me that? You had to make me think you'd left for good? I drove to the interstate because I thought you had taken off for New York, damnit!"

"I should have done so, yes, I know but hear me out, I could not face you with the thoughts running through my mind today. I would have been poor company."

Grace waved her hands at him, "Don't give me an excuse, just tell me you didn't want to hang around with me today, I'm a big girl, I would rather hear that than be given a shove off."

Loki's head was starting to pound, "Why would I tell you that which is not true, entirely."

He sat down on the bed hard, flopped back to stare at the ceiling. "I wanted to be with you. I truly did but I had other things on my mind."

"Oh I heard." Grace leaped from the bed whirling around, "You were mooning over Sarah, it's getting damn pathetic. Do you think she's doing the same for you, trying to think of a way to come and see you? Or call you? It's been four months, how much longer are you going to let her drive you crazy like this?"

His speed, even impaired by alcohol, startled her as she suddenly found him before her, "Do not presume to know her thoughts, or mine. She remains in New York to be safe, she is great with child now."

Grace put her hands on his chest and shoved him back, "She wasn't four months ago, stop making excuses for her. She's the one free to move around, not you and she's moving around Thor, you said so your..."

She rocked back on her heels with the impact as his hands shot out and gripped her arms hard, "Never speak his name to me again, do you understand?"

Grace wrenched herself free from his grasp and stumbled backwards, nearly losing her balance. "Don't you dare come at me like that again, Loki." She growled, pushing her hair back from her face, "I don't want to see you, I don't want to speak to you until you've sobered and smartened up."

She turned, threw the door open and strode out into the hallway, leaving Loki standing there in his room, mouth hung open, staring at the place where she'd been. He sat down on the bed, staring at his hands like they'd betrayed him somehow, lifting them to his face and closing his eyes, a groan starting from him that quickly rose in crescendo to a roar.

Kurt found him the following morning curled up on the floor in front of his rooms, nearly tripping over him as he walked out into the hallway only barely catching his balance at the last minute.

Mein Gott, Loki. Vat are you doing here?"

Loki started awake, nearly knocking Kurt over anyway in an effort to regain his feet. "I needed someone to talk to but was reluctant to wake you, so I sat here and fell asleep." He rubbed his face.

"Vell come in. I have a few minutes." Kurt stepped back inside his room, allowing Loki entrance and closing the door.

"You have overcome your little binge?" He gestured towards the easy chair where Loki sat down.

"Do you remember vat you said to us?"

Loki nodded, closed his eyes, put his hand to his forehead, "As do I remember what I said to Grace. Gods, I would not be surprised if she never spoke to me again. I have done her a great disservice and I must make amends."

Kurt perched on the end of his bed, "Vat did you do das vas so bad?"

"I yelled at her, I grabbed her, and all because she told me the truth I did not wish to hear."

Kurt tilted his head, "You did not hurt her did you?"

Loki shook his head, "Not physically no, but I believe I have done grave damage to her feelings."

Kurt stroked his chin, "Does she know that Sarah is vith child?"

Loki gave a sad smile, "She knows. She also knows that Sarah is with my brother now, she is wiser than I to see what I refuse to acknowledge. What can I do to make amends to her?"

Kurt stood from the bed, "Das depends on her. I vill talk to her and see vat she says." He patted Loki's shoulder, "Vat vill happen ven Sarah delivers the babies?"

"I know not what will happen, only that I shall not be welcome there. What happens afterwards I shudder to contemplate."

Kurt squeezed, "I do not envy you your troubles mein freund. I vill try to help though."

Every time Kurt would try to corner Grace, she would have something to do, kids to help, a task to complete. Finally, on Friday afternoon, before she could protest, Kurt directed her to the library where he asked her to sit down and talk with him.

"Grace, have you spoken to Loki?" he asked her, knowing full well she hadn't.

"I haven't had time, I'm busy. Christmas is next week and there's the holiday party to help organize, I have to help with the baking, the decorating, the planning, plus the children, keeping the household running smoothly. I don't have time."

"Ach, you do not have time for your friend?"

Grace fidgeted with the papers on her clipboard, "I don't know what you want me to say. I've been busy."

"You vere not busy before ven you vere always in each other's company?" Kurt sat down on the couch beside her. "He is repentant about vat he did but he does not know how to make amends."

"He hasn't even tried, he scared the hell out of me that afternoon. It was like," She paused, "It was like he was a whole different person."

"Dat is der evil of drink. Have you considered das is vat fueled his tirade?"

Grace nodded, sighed, her breath hitching as she released it. "I miss him horribly, Kurt, but I'm not going to talk to him. He hasn't apologized or even tried, he's avoiding me as much as I am him."

Kurt thought about it, picking his words carefully, "He thinks dere is nothing he can do to make up for his indiscretions. Perhaps you should try to approach him."

Grace frowned, "No, I'm going to go about my work like I should and not get involved with someone who's volatile, stubborn, and can't see what's happening right in front of him." She stood up, Kurt standing with her.

" Leibling, have you never had such a hard decision to make?"

She closed her eyes, pursed her lips. "I always have hard decisions to make, and this is one of them."

Without another word, she stalked from the room. Kurt templed his fingers at his chin, then dug his bible from his coat pocket and sat down, opening it, trying to find a passage to calm his troubled mind.


	11. Chapter 11

She wrapped the box containing the scarf in red and green striped wrapping paper and set it on her bed. The holiday party had gone off nicely but it had been colored by Loki's absence which she had been reminded of by a scathing glance from Kurt. Earlier in the week, she had stood in the shadows watching Logan and Loki during their self-defense class in the gym until the sight of him, his smile, his fluid movement, his face, had caused her to slip away, her arms wrapped tightly around her clipboard, tears standing in the corner of her eyes, bumping into Kurt as she left the gymnasium.

She walked into the common room, furtive, it was Christmas eve and she didn't want any little children seeing her put a present under the massive tree by the fireplace but before she could reach the tree, she stopped dead in her tracks. A lone form squatted beside the tree, a package in his hand which he was setting down upon the pile. She turned, set the present in her hand as gently as she could down upon the couch at her right, then started to walk from the room.

"Grace?" She closed her eyes at the sound of his voice, considered continuing on out of the room, finally stopping, head hung low.

She heard footsteps behind her and glanced over her shoulder. "What?"

Loki had shoved his hands into his jeans pockets to stop from fidgeting but he withdrew one and placed it on her shoulder, feeling her shrink from him slightly.

She then jerked from his grasp and turned, "What do you want?"

Loki looked at the floor, "I wished to tell you that I was sorry I have not spoken with you about what happened that night in my room."

Grace felt her throat constrict as angry tears threatened to betray her calm demeanor. "It doesn't matter," she wanted to take the words back as soon as she said them.

"It matters to me. I felt that what I had done was so repugnant, so hurtful that there was little I could do or say to make amends for so large a slight and therefore was at a loss. Does this make sense to you?"

Grace sniffed, "Why bother then, right?"

Loki looked to the ceiling then down at her again, "You miss my meaning. You were right, about everything you said, about Sarah, about myself. I have tried to reconcile myself to what has happened but I cannot heal without the woman who has seen me through from the beginning."

Grace wanted to back away from him and run from the room but he took her gloved hand in his own. She didn't pull away but didn't return the grip.

"If there be a way for me to say what I wish to without scaring you from this room, please tell me of it."

Grace swallowed hard, her head beginning to swim. "Sometimes you have to just say it and take the consequences as they come."

Loki squeezed her hand, a nervous laugh as he averted his gaze, "You make it sound easy."

Grace finally returned his squeeze, "Do you love me, Loki?"

He gave a small imperceptible nod at first, then another more vigorous one and looked at her again, "I am in love with you, Grace."

She put her other hand to her mouth but he gently withdrew it. "Do you love me in return?"

She searched his face with her eyes, "You know the answer to that."

As he leaned forward, she had a moment of panic before their lips touched that was quickly dispelled by the tingle that shot throughout her body, opening her mouth against his, stealing her breath and unlocking her knees as she leaned into him, their tongues intertwining, rough and silk sliding together, the room fading from their thoughts as their hands sought purchase upon each others body, he lifting her up to him, she locking her gloved hands behind his head, finally backing from the kiss with a whispered, "Shit." as they tried to slow their pounding hearts.

"Grace," He murmured into her ear, "I have wanted to kiss you for so long." smiling at her weak nod, her cheek brushing his. He stroked her hair, touching his lips in a tender kiss against the juncture where her jaw met her throat.

"What about Sarah?" She murmured, breathing in the scent of him, his hair, his skin.

He leaned back from her, his hand at her cheek, "We shall always be connected but her heart lies also with another, what we once had has changed, become indistinct while our relationship, Grace, has clarified, become solid."

"I've never been in a serious relationship, I have to tell you." Grace stepped away from him, "I've always been afraid of.." She hesitated, "this."

Loki drew her by the hand to one of the couches around the tree, sitting beside her and drawing her against him where they sat quiet for a few minutes watching the lights of the Christmas tree.

"I have a gift for you, I was setting it beneath the tree as was customary when you walked in on me. Might I give it to you?"

Grace nodded, "I had the same idea, hold on." They both stood, she to the couch nearest the door to retrieve her present, he to the tree.

They sat back down on the couch, exchanging packages, unwrapping them without words. He smiled as he saw the colors of the scarf, pulling it from the box. "My standards." he draped it over his neck, "It is beautifully wrought. Thank you."

She lifted the gloves from the box slowly and turned them over in her hands. "Loki," she murmured, "These are lovely, I've never had anyone give me gloves before and as for the color, we must have been thinking along the same lines."

Loki ran his fingers along the yarn of the scarf, "If you had a standard, I would have used those colors but I believe this worked out better, now people will know you are mine."

She gave him a playful shove, "Because we color coordinate? It takes a lot more than that."

He reached over and pulled her towards him, "Perhaps if they saw us like this?"

The intensity with which he came at her throat, mouth open against her skin, tongue tracing patterns as he suckled gently, startled her and she drew breath in a hiss, her hands coming up, palms open at his chest, her eyes closed at the heat in that single point of contact, shivering as he nuzzled beneath her chin with the bridge of his nose, finding other places to explore. She slid her hands to his shoulders, kneading, her jaw slack, all strength gone from her save the power of speech.

"Loki, someone's going to walk in and," He nuzzled her head back, nipped at her chin, "Sweet Jesus, they're going to see us like this." She managed to gasp as she leaned away from him, looking into his eyes bright with passion.

"We should stop. Someone is going to hear us and come exploring." She pressed her gloved hand to his cheek, smiling as he put his hand over hers to hold it there.

"We should indeed, I am become inflamed with desire for you and this is neither the time nor the place to continue in such a manner." He stood from the couch, pulling her up with him. "I shall walk you to your rooms and bid you goodnight."

They held hands as they walked, fingers interlaced together until they reached her door, he bending in for a short sweet kiss.

"You know I'm pretty difficult to shake, right?" She whispered, their foreheads touching.

"You must know I am just as tenacious."

She backed away then, "Merry Christmas, Loki."

"Merry Christmas, Grace." He bowed to her, smiling as she walked into her rooms and closed the door behind her.

As he walked to his rooms, hands wrapped around the ends of the scarf, a thought came unbidden to his mind. A vision of Sarah, her hands wrapped around her swollen belly, grimacing in pain, and he nearly collapsed to his knees, leaning against the nearest wall for support. Though the vision passed as quickly as it came, he knew the babies were ready to be born and he was seized with rage sudden and hot at the urge to be at her side while she delivered their children, angry that he could still feel such intensity for the woman who had chosen to betray his feelings by taking up with his brother, angrier still that he could not stop his own feelings for Grace, even now needing her touch to soothe him, comfort him. They had both taken this path, he knew full well, but after the birth of the children, he knew that path was going to change and he feared the course.

The first week of the new year saw a mild thaw, the snow turning to slush and water along the long drive up to the mansion. It also saw a new couple emerge in the faculty. They tried to be discreet at first but a stolen long kiss on New Year's eve in the hallway had only served to cement what everyone was seeing. At times Grace had noticed he seemed distant and after repeated pleadings to tell her what was wrong, he had finally confessed his apprehension at Sarah's distress. She had tried to mask her petulance but it was obvious to Loki and he had crushed her in a fierce embrace, kisses like a balm for her worries.

The snow storm that began that Friday morning ushered in a storm of another kind when Loki was stopped by Ororo on his way to the Self Defense class.

"Loki, I need to talk to you in my office."

He raised an eyebrow, concerned at once but followed her to the office, taking the chair offered him.

"I just received a call from Fury, Sarah has delivered the babies, twins, healthy but early. Now do you have an explanation for why you never told me she was pregnant?"

Loki's hands had gripped the arms of the chair as he listened to her and now he was back on his feet, suddenly pacing like a caged animal, his heart thudding heavy in his chest. "I did not think anyone would understand how I had left her as she was. We were both in danger, more so with my presence and I chose to remove myself as I told you when I came here. It is my fault and my burden to bear."

Ororo frowned, "Children are not a burden."

"No, no, the burden I speak of is the guilt I harbor for making such rash decisions in the past. I should have never gotten involved with Sarah in the first place knowing what she was and our actions were our undoing."

"Does Grace know about the babies?" Ororo folded her hands on the desk, watched Loki nod. "And she's okay with it?"

"We have discussed at length what will happen."

"Loki," She stopped him as he reached the door. "What's going to happen now?"

"I do not know."

Logan had shaken his head when Loki had begged him to bring him to the train station, explaining that he'd go into the city, see the babies and return without being seen. When Logan had asked how and Loki had transformed into a mirror image of him, he had agreed but only if he was allowed to go along.

"You need someone who knows the city a bit better than you, Long Horn." he had said to him as they walked into the garage.

He had begun to doze as the commuter train made the next station, his head against the window but was jolted awake moments later when it pulled away from the platform. He heard Logan snort in the seat next to him,

"Whatsa matter long horn, can't get used to those sudden stops and starts?"

He sat up and stretched. "How long until we reach our destination?"

Logan returned his attention to the magazine he'd been reading, "I don't know, I thought you were paying attention."

Loki saw the corners of Logan's mouth twitch and chose to ignore him, instead looking out at the landscape streaking by the window, his thoughts drifting back to the events of the day. Sarah had said she missed him and he had seen into her thoughts that it was true, he had said words to her that had brought bitterness to his heart knowing what he was keeping from her, and even more anguish as he had seen her own heart torn between him and Thor, made all the worse as she stood before him and the old feelings began to flood back. He had looked at his son, the dark hair, the blue of his skin, anticipating the rejection of the world he had been born into, wanting to scoop him up and bring him back to the school to protect him. He had wanted to scream out his anger as the elevator doors closed on Sarah's form standing there in the hospital corridor, bassinet before her.

The platform was nearly deserted as they stepped off the train. They got into the van, Loki's mind in turmoil. He had left that morning without so much as a word to Grace and now he needed to see her, to be enfolded in her arms, hear her soothing voice, feel the touch of her lips, her hands without those damnable gloves upon them.

The mansion was bustling, students, teachers in the corridors heading to dinner. After a brief search with no luck, he headed upstairs to his room without so much as a thought of food. In his rooms, he stripped to the waist and knelt on the floor, hands open, palms up on his knees, trying to slow his breathing, letting the color come to the surface of his skin until it shown a rich cerulean blue, darker than Fen's. He began to recite the old Norse prayers in his head, his lips moving soundless with the words, finding them calming, recalling old spells that he hadn't used in many ages, come unbidden but welcome to his thoughts. He never heard the door open behind him, nor the footsteps. When the hand settled on his shoulder, he dropped to one side, pivoting around to stare up at Grace.  
"I didn't mean to scare you." She averted her gaze from the ruby red eyes staring up at hers, "I just wanted to talk to you."

By the time he had regained his feet, the color had faded from his skin, his eyes. He put the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I looked for you earlier."

"I was talking to Ororo." She sat down on the bed, waited for him to join her but he remained standing.

"She has told you what has come to pass." He stared at the floor in front of him, "Sarah is delivered of a son and daughter."

Grace had set her clipboard on the bed, now she fingered the clip, "You went to see her, Logan said he brought you."

Loki shook his head, "It was for me to tell you."

"Were you going to?"

He sat down beside her, hands on his knees. "That was why I sought you out. I am in such pain. It was devastating to see Sarah again. Fenris has been born Jotun," He chuckled but it came out more a growl. "Or at the very least he has the skin you saw when you walked in on me. Madison is pale with dark hair like her mother. Sarah's heart is split in two. Thor was there at the hospital with her but when she saw me, it was as if we'd never parted."

Grace looked down at her gloves, the forest green leather, the soft gold lacing, and her vision began to blur, "And how about you? Did you miss her?"

"I would be lying if I said anything other than yes, but it does not negate my feelings for you, Grace." he took her chin in his hand, pulling her head around to face him, feeling chided when she pulled away.

"We didn't make a commitment. It's not like you have to choose between me and her."

He grabbed her arm, shaking her, "I have chosen and I have chosen the woman who is as like a kindred soul as ever there was, who is here now, willing to be with me alone." He pushed her hair back from her face, "Is this enough to still your troubled mind?"

She leaned over to him, resting her head on his shoulder, "It will have to do." She canted her head upward to receive his kiss, sliding a hand over his chest, whining in frustration, finally pulling from him, "The first man I've ever wanted to touch and I can't."

He hesitated at first, then took her hand in his and began drawing off her glove.

"Loki, no please, I don't want to do this."

He held up his hand to silence her, "My brother can shield himself from my mind when he tries. He thinks I am ignorant of it." He cradled her hand palm up in his, other hand hovering above.

"Thor would think of something, usually the color red, It would block me from reading his thoughts if he concentrated hard enough. You are a powerful telepath, you should have no problem. When I touch your hand, think of that color. Throw it out like a shield."

She had started to pant as his hand neared hers and she could feel the pull of the thread between them, when he touched her palm, the thoughts rushed over her, she trying frantically not to see Loki, Fen in his arms, Sarah, her eyes meeting his, Thor in the hospital room..she pulled her hand away as if stung, "It's too much Loki. I can't."

Loki drew his thumb across her cheek to catch the tears there. "Try once more, I long to feel your touch but I do not wish to hurt you."

Once more he took her hand in his and just before he put his fingers into the palm, she envisioned a red curtain, as if on a stage, sliding shut in a spotlight, the thoughts trapped, beating helplessly at the fabric. A few thoughts getting through, minor ones but the roar in her head was diminished and it was moments before she realized he was stroking her palm with his thumbs. She smiled but the distraction served to open the curtain and she pulled her hand away again.

"Very good, Grace. We will practice until it becomes second nature to you and you will never have to wear gloves again." He kissed her again then, taking her breath away sharply as he bit her lip tenderly, drawing it in a gentle suction between his own before they broke the kiss.

"Stay here a while with me. I need your companionship, your love."

Grace nodded, "And I need yours."

When Grace had tiptoed out of Loki's room late that evening, her lips had been tingling, pleasantly numb. They had continued to kiss, lying on the bed, their bodies pressed together, passion rising to a fever pitch until they had been forced to stop. She had left, promising him that she would be there at his table for breakfast the next day, and they were inseparable from then on until the following Sunday when he failed to show up for breakfast that morning.

It was Kurt who found him in his room, underneath the covers, curled up into a ball.

"Grace looks for you, Loki. Have you overslept?"

Loki's groan concerned Kurt and he sat on the edge of the bed beside him, "Mein freund, are you sick?"

Loki was facing away from him and he turned his head, "Sarah is in Asgard with Thor. They brought the children to be marked and recognized as is the custom in Asgard with newborns."

Kurt bit his lip, nodded. "And it is customary das der father be present, Ja?"

Loki's answering nod came with another groan, "I should have been there."

"I am sorry, liebling. Truly sorry." He put a hand to Loki's back, "I vill tell Grace you are unvell."

Loki sat up then, "No, I shall get up. I have wasted too much time dwelling upon it. I will be down in a few moments."

Kurt stood from the bed, "Den I vill tell her you vill be down soon." He paused, then patted Loki's shoulder, "Peace, mein freund."

Ororo caught him in the hallway Monday as he headed to class. "Loki, come with me."

He glanced down the hallway, "I will be late, Ororo."

"I'll talk to Logan, you have a phone call waiting in the office." Loki gave her a look of confusion but followed her into her office, to her desk where the phone sat, light blinking on its panel.

"Just pick it up and answer it, I'll be out in the hallway."

Loki watched her leave as he lifted the receiver from its cradle, "Hello?"

"Loki,"

It was Sarah, he felt for the chair behind him and sat down, "Yes?"

"It's me, Sarah. I'm going to come up with the babies to see you Thursday afternoon, when do you finish classes that day?"

"They keep you well informed, do they not?"

He heard the pause, "Loki are you okay?"

"I finish the Self Defense class at three-fifteen. Then I am free."

"Do you not want me to come and see you, or something?"

It was Loki's turn to pause this time, "I wish to see my children, I will be waiting for you."

He had been ready to hang up when Sarah continued, "Thor brought me to Asgard with the children to meet your father and mother."

"His father and mother. Yes I know of your trip and the reason."

"Ah, I got it. Okay I'm sorry, I can't help it if you weren't able to go. It wasn't my decision to make. Thor did a good job though, don't worry about that."

Loki's jaw ached, so hard did he clench his teeth together, "I am sure he did."

"I gotta go, I'm heading back to work. I'll see you Thursday."

He hung up without a response, his head swimming. He did not wish to expose Grace to Sarah, worrying that seeing her would send Grace into a panic but there was nothing for it.

Thursday morning dawned snowy and cold. Loki was on tenterhooks the entire day, unable to concentrate on class, earning a short lecture from Logan about leaving his outside business just that. When a dark blue nondescript sedan pulled up to the front doors around four that afternoon, Loki was immediately on the front steps heading out to help Sarah with the babies. They carried the carriers into the common room which was deserted, a fire snapping and crackling in the grate.

Sarah unbundled first Fen, handing him to Loki who put him to his chest, patting his back gently, then Madison whom she left in her carrier asleep. Loki watched Sarah as she moved, barely able to control his emotions, varied as they were.

"It was a herculean task getting Fury to let me come see you." Sarah stroked Fen's hair as she sat beside Loki.

"I was not aware you needed permission to go anywhere."

"I don't but if I had just left with the children and Thor had told Fury where I was headed, I would have heard it."

Loki sneered, "Yes indeed, I mustn't forget your keeper,"

"My keeper? Fury isn't my keeper."

His laughter startled her, "I meant that oaf of a brother, Thor, and why would you tell them where you go in the first place?"

He had seen the blush rise to her cheeks at the mention of his brother's name and despite his own promise to himself, he let his mind connect with hers for only a brief second, seeing all he needed to in that flash. His hands tightened on his son, holding him protectively to his chest.

"I have to tell them where I go, they find out regardless, just like they did when we got together for the first time." She paused, "Thor is concerned about you, he loves you, he says you're wrong, that you are only judging him by your own actions."

"Believe nothing he says. He would fill your head with what he wishes you to know,"

Sarah sat back in the couch, "Not even the fact you tried to kill him there in that cell when he tried to chain you to the wall."

Loki glared at her, "How desperate would you have been had you seen them coming at you with shackles and a muzzle?"

Sarah closed her eyes, "So you did try to kill him?"

"After his own attempt failed." he set Fen down in his carrier, his anger rising.

"I can't believe he tried to kill you first," She shook her head.

"Why, because he is all goodness and light and I am evil incarnate?"

Sarah put her hand on his arm, "I never said that."

Loki shrugged her hand from him, "You need not say it, I will always lie to you, is that not what he tells you."

"Stop putting words into my mouth.."

Loki sat forward on the couch, "He would have caved in my skull with Mjolinr had I not been quick enough, ask him if it is not so. He will not lie to you, him you may trust."

Sarah had folded her arms before her, "I trusted you not to leave me alone when I needed you most. I was sick with worry and had to go through the pregnancy like that."

He was quiet for a moment, he had felt her pain and distress those long months, "I wished to spare you from a life on the run."

"And yourself, all I could think of was the fact that you had been a coward, of course that was between bouts of extreme depression."

"Which my brother helped you to overcome." he muttered.

"Loki,"

"It is so convenient for him, having both of his women under one roof."

Sarah closed her eyes, "Don't do this, please."

Loki leaned forward, his face inches from hers, "Tell me, have you slept with him yet?"

She opened her eyes, sinking back into the couch when she realized how close he was, "I can't believe you asked me that, you're bitter."

"Do not lie Sarah, you know what I am."

Sarah pushed him from before her and stood from the couch, "If you know, why ask me?"

Loki stood with her, "Because I want to hear you say it. I want you to tell me the truth."

Sarah swallowed hard, looked at the carpet, the babies, "I have, is that what you want to hear? Does that make it any easier?"

Grace heard voices being raised in the common room and she drifted over to the archway, suddenly aware that Loki was in a heated discussion with a woman who could only have been Sarah. She stood listening, her stomach turning.

"If we had stayed together, they would have found us and I would most definitely be back on Asgard, imprisoned, perhaps dead. If that is what you wished, please tell me so that I may call the Bifrost and return to my punishment."

"Oh stop it, Jesus, Loki."

"Perhaps you could call the Bifrost yourself, you have traveled there with Thor, have you not?"

"I had to, Thor brought the babies to be marked and recognized by Odin."

Loki sneered, "I should have been there."

"You couldn't, you said so yourself, you'd risk your life."

"And I was never given the chance to decline the offer."

Fen had begun to fuss and Sarah picked him up from the carrier, bouncing him, rocking him.

"It's heading towards their feeding time, I'm going to get going, hold Fen."

"You just arrived, why are you leaving?" he rubbed Fen's back as he watched her re-bundle Madison.

"Loki, is there much else to say to each other? All we're doing is fighting and I'm too tired to fight anymore. You've had your answers."

He tried to keep the tremor from his voice, "When will I see you and the children again?"

"I don't know, I'm on nights the next two weeks. Maybe then?"

Grace stumbled into the kitchen, her stomach finally betraying her as she vomited into the large stainless steel sink, grateful that no one else was there to see her. She rinsed out the sink, sweat beading on her forehead as she leaned over the counter, panting. When she was able to, she straightened back up and walked out to the common room, intending to introduce herself to Sarah but the common room was deserted. She looked down the corridors to the left and right, then up the stairs, all at once trotting up them to search for Loki and Sarah.

Sarah strapped Fen's carrier into the seat, then Madison's while Loki stood beside the car, watching, hands in his pocket, waiting until she stood up and shut the car door, turning to him.

"I'll call you." She backed away, starting towards the driver's side.

"Do you still love me?" Loki watched her reaction to his question which said more than any one word.

"Not like I used to. It's different, Loki, but it's not your fault. I worry about you, I care about you." She stopped, her voice had become hoarse. "We made a mistake. I'm sorry that it took so long to figure that out."

He looked away from her, silent.

"I've got to go. I'll talk to you soon."

He watched her walk towards him again and he backed away from her, stopping her in her tracks. Without another word, she was soon in the driver's seat of the black company car. Before the car had completed the circuit around the courtyard to leave, Loki had already returned to the mansion.

He had thrown the door open to his room and slammed it shut hard enough to knock the clock from the nightstand beside it. As the color rose to his skin, the lines appearing upon his body, nails darkening to ink black, he began to panic. The emotions that were tearing him apart would not fade with his Jotun form as they had so many times in the past, the cold blood running through his veins glazing over his thoughts. He knelt on the carpet, his chest heaving as he tried to control the well of pain that had opened inside him upon seeing Sarah, hearing her say what he'd seen in her heart. His hands shook, palms open, clenching and un-clenching, eyes closed, jaw slack. The knock on his door went unanswered once, twice, until the door creaked open. Grace circled around until she was before him and knelt down on the floor.

"Loki?" She put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back to look into his face at the lines of lighter blue fading into the darker tones of his forehead, cheeks, neck.

"I cannot center myself," He croaked, "It is truly over between us, she will share my brother's bed tonight, he has presented the children to the Allfather, I remain an outcast even to mine own."

He canted forward, his head resting on her shoulder, a strangled cry escaping him that rose in crescendo to an angry roar until she encircled him with her arms and held him.

"You're still here, you have me," she murmured, startled when he tore away from her.

"What care I for humans? Soft, weak, fickle. A plague upon Midgard, upon my soul. She called what happened between us a mistake, and she is right, what we shared was wrong."

She placed her hands to his face, "You can't think like that, do you believe we're wrong too?"

He tried to turn away from her but she kept her hands steady, "Tell me." watching a tear finally spill over his cheek, red changing to blue, magnifying the color beneath it.

"We will always be wrong, and I shall never be strong enough to deny that which I desire so desperately, whether I be cursed until the end of creation."

She pulled him to her and kissed him, the contact serving to breach the barrier between them. His hand slid to the back of her head where he entwined his fingers in her hair and yanked her head back to lunge at her throat, teeth grazing her skin, breath a quick harsh rhythm as he trailed kisses like fire down to her collarbone, biting, nipping, at the edge of pain, he followed out to her shoulder, pulling the collar of her blue velour sweater aside to lave the skin there. He had wrapped an arm around her waist, crushing her to him and now he stood with her, lifting her up to stand, pushing her to the wall beside his bed, trapping her with his body, parting her legs with one knee so that she was helpless to move one way or the other.

"Loki, ah.." She panted into his ear, "Please."

"I shall."

He took her wrists, pinning them to the wall at her back, meeting her lips, hunger and pure animalistic passion moving his hips, rutting against her, stopping her protests with his tongue until she started to relax, her body slipping down to sit upon his knee, her own hips betraying her as she slid against his thigh in response, a soft moan escaping her. He was lost now, hand letting go of one wrist, drifting down her arm to her side where he settled, his fingers matching her rib cage, thumb tracing the swell of her breast just shy of the nipple which he could feel had hardened even through the layers of fabric and undergarment. He took encouragement from it, sliding higher to rub his thumb over the tip, receiving a louder moan into his mouth and an involuntary thrust of her hips as she arched forward as a reward. He slid his hand beneath the hem of the sweater then, fingers working under the edge of her bra, thumb and forefinger giving a gentle pinch, feeling the areola wrinkle as the skin around the nipple tightened further, the sensation seeming to travel through her body to his groin as he grew harder, his own response more insistent and he struggled to maintain himself.

"My nature as I am now," he breathed, "Is rather brutal. I wish not to hurt you."

"You won't, I trust you." he leaned back, her dark ebony eyes locking with his, glittering, ruby.

His senses exploded as she leaned her head back to the wall and closed her eyes, desire clouding his mind, her submission throwing him into a frenzy. He let loose her other wrist, wrapping his arms around her waist and moving her to the bed, lifting her up until her head lay on his pillow, her chestnut hair a halo around her. He knew when he first took her, he would be unable to control himself and he nearly considered burying his Jotun form to gentle himself until she reached her hand up to cup his face,

"Beautiful." let her hand trail down to his chest, flipping the buttons of his gray shirt apart as it descended, finally baring his chest with a wave of her fingers to nestle in the scant hair.

"Remove your gloves, Grace."

She had been studying the pattern of lines that followed the curves of his ribs, across his pectorals, down his arms, over his shoulders, across his stomach but his words made her hand curl into a ball at his sternum.

"I don't think I can, do it again, Loki."

He leaned to one side, bringing his hand to hers, drawing the fingertips upwards, finally slipping the glove from her hand.

"I have shown you what to do and I wish to feel your hand upon my body, do what you will."

Her hand hovered at his chest, she took a deep breath, and drew her fingertips across the lines running down to his navel, whisper soft, shuddering, lost in the sensation that dropped his head forward taking his breath from him.

He pushed her hand away and in one swift movement had drawn her sweater over her head, her bra to follow. He leaned over then to give suck and she arched up into him, his tongue swirling patterns over first one nipple then the other as she turned her head to the side, lost in the electrifying jolts through her body, feeling herself open in response as her knees fell parted. He followed the swell of her breasts down to her ribs, nipping, licking, around to the dip above her pubic bone where he brought his hand up and released the button of her jeans, pushing away the hand that shot up in nervous reaction to the sudden implication of what was to come. smiling as she arched again, reaching up to his own waist and tugging at the edge of his own pants. He guided her hand to the zipper and pulled it down with her, slipping the waist band down to free himself, pulling first one leg then the other free from their confines, kicking them free, to the floor, sitting back then and drawing her jeans down her legs to discard them at the end of the bed to lie entangled with his own in a mirror of their impending union, returning to hook his thumbs into the white panties that covered what he so desperately needed. She was trembling then, putting up the hand that still wore a glove.

"I'm scared, Loki."

He shook his head, a gentle smile as she raised her hips, allowing him to draw the panties down until they slid off her ankles, "I will not hurt you."

"It's not that.."

He took his hands, parting her legs, poised between them, hard and ready, she could feel his length at the inside of her thigh, leaving a trail of moisture belying his desire, felt her tense, her gloved hand squeeze one shoulder, the other hovering behind his head then slide down to his waist where he felt her press her fingers into the small of his back, signaling her readiness and without warning he pushed forward, entering her in one swift plunge, her cry, pain mingled with pleasure, serving to still him though he only wished to lift her from the bed with his thrusts.

"Please save me" he whispered. She nodded and he groaned as she bucked her hips against him, he returning the motion, repeating it, her arms wrapping around his neck, feet locked around his calves as he abandoned himself to the timeless motions of love, listening to her soft whimper as he kept even with her rhythm, matching it, overtaking it as she rose to meet him, trying to keep her body in contact with his own, the strength of their coupling drawing a growl from deep within him as his rhythm began to break, hips stuttering against hers, breath coming fast and urgent. He groaned into her neck as he felt himself already reaching the point of no return, it had been too long for him, she had accepted him in his basest form and the realization gave power to his movement, thrusts becoming harder until he was raising her from the bed with every one, hearing her whisper his name as he felt her tighten around him pulsing like a heartbeat, her voice rising in a breathy keen unsteady and staccato as he pressed his mouth to hers in a paroxysm of pleasure. He knew he could not allow himself the satisfaction, the pleasure of spending himself inside of her and with a cry of frustration, he withdrew from her, hearing her mirror his reaction, giving one final thrust over her abdomen, as he spilled his seed across his fingers to her stomach, hot, slick, his head thrown back to the ceiling, tears in the corners of his eyes. He put his head down to meet hers, both of them panting, overcome, his arms trembling with the effort of holding himself poised above her.

"Let me only catch my breath, my love." He breathed over her, "And something to clean you with."

As he rose and turned himself to the side, he heard her, "You were my first."

He paused, turned to her, "The Gods wept, why did you not tell me?"

She looked at him, "I thought you knew?"

He rose from the bed, "I did not, it never came to me through our connection. I would never have taken you like this had I known."

He trotted into the bathroom, returning with a warm washcloth, gently wiping her stomach, her chest, hearing her giggle as he shook his head. "Forgive my, ah..." He wiped a bit higher, "enthusiasm."

He sat back down on the bed, taking in the beauty of her form, her full hips, round curves, taut breasts, sturdy legs, draping one hand between her thighs, feeling her squeeze his fingers with a press together. "Did I hurt you?"

She stroked her bare hand along his arm, "Only with words."

He lifted the hand from his arm and kissed it, "I will make amends to you for any slight, I will whisper words of love to you until your heart overflows, only forgive me my transgressions."

"It was beautiful." she smiled up at him, reaching for his face, "You are beautiful."

He returned her smile, feeling the palm of her hand, skin against skin, "I do not feel beautiful like this. Desire must have blinded you." He stood again then, his color fading until it matched her own, bending to retrieve his clothes, laying hers on the bed beside her. He pulled his jeans on, watching her as she sat up slowly.

She drew her bra over her head and adjusted it, glanced at him, "Could I come back tonight?"

He thought of how dangerously close he'd come to emptying himself inside her, knowing that if they were to couple again so soon, he would most certainly do so, his resolve weakening even then as she pressed her body to his in a lover's embrace.

"What of the others? What if someone were to see you arrive at my quarters in the evening only to leave at morning light?"

Grace retreated back from him, "They'd know we're a couple now. It's not against the rules, Loki."

He sat down on the edge of the bed, "Grace, I fear that if you return to my bed tonight, I shall not be strong enough to withdraw from you. I would not wish to get you with child." he gave her a weak grin belying his concern.

She sighed, sat back down beside him, "Then I'll go on the pill."

"Pill?" Loki tilted his head in that way she had grown to love.

"Yes silly, it's medicine to stop a woman from getting pregnant, you get it from a doctor."

He stroked her cheek with his fingers, "And you would work this magic for us?"

She nodded, "Tomorrow, I'll talk to Doc Adamson.

He cupped her face with his hands, "Let it be this way for now. We have all the time in the world, I have found my home here with you, with Kurt and Logan, Ororo, Kitty. I must focus on Fen and Madison now."

She closed her eyes, "I'll be there to help you. I hope she's not the vindictive type."

"It will not matter to her, our lives are separate, save for our children. It is what it is."

That night, Loki lay alone in his bed, the pillow she had lain on wrapped between his arms, wanting to creep to her bedroom and hold her to him as she slept, but staying himself. Sleep that night was deep, content, before slumber overtook him completely, daydreaming of Fen and Madison living at the school with him, happy and accepted among their own kind, as he now was.


	12. Chapter 12

When Grace returned to his bed two weeks later just shy of Valentine's day and they had finally made love again, their coupling primal and unrestrained, he had wept as he'd spent himself inside of her for the first time, making their union complete. When they'd both walked from his quarters that next morning, finding Kurt about to knock on his door, Loki had smiled at him.

"Guten morgen, I vas looking for only one person. It vould seem my cup runneth over."

Loki grasped Grace's hand tightly, wishing she had forgone her gloves as she had last night so that he could read what she was going to say without making his own effort to probe.

"Good morning Kurt," She turned to Loki, "I'm going to get going. I left my clipboard in my room last night and I've got a lot to do today. I'll meet you in the hall for breakfast." Her kiss, ending in a gentle tug of his bottom lip, sent shivers up his spine.

He watched her down the hall then brought his attention back to Kurt who was standing there open mouthed.

"Come on, I am hungry." Loki started down the hall in the opposite direction from which she'd gone.

After a moment, Kurt trotted up beside him. "Loki, did Miss Archer spend der night vith you?"

"Yes, Kurt."

He narrowed his golden eyes and canted his head to the right, "Reading poetry? Playing chess?"

Loki chuckled, nodded to a group of passing students who called out, "Hi, Mister Laufeyson." as they passed, "No Kurt, what is the word to use in polite company? We slept together."

Kurt had to continue his trot to keep up with Loki's wide stride, "Slept together, so you are a couple now."

Loki opened the door into the hall, letting Kurt through, "Yes, we are. Does it displease you?"

Kurt patted his arm, "About you being a couple, nein. About the sleeping together? Dis is der twenty-first century, mein freund. About vat is happening vith your kinder and Sarah? Das concerns me. She vas here a few veeks ago, have you heard from her since?"

Loki shook his head, irritation clouding his mind, "I have not and I cannot call her because I do not have her telephone number and I cannot visit her as readily as she can visit me. I have spoken to Ororo and she has called Fury but all he will say is that the children are doing well and that is all I need to know."

"Vat a bastard." Kurt mumbled and Loki cast him a shocked look, "Vat, can I not get frustrated every once in a vile?"

"I will wait, as I must. I will go and talk to Ororo again, perhaps he will let her call Sarah and talk to her. I yearn to see my children even if it be my brother bringing them to me."

He spied Grace across the great hall and headed towards her, Kurt still following him.

"I was waiting for you." She glanced up at Loki and Kurt, "I'm trying to make sure we've got all the details for the Valentine's day dance down pat."

Loki sat beside her, nestled his chin on her shoulder, "I will get your breakfast for you. What do you wish?"

"Grace smiled and tilted her head to touch his, "Nothing, I'll get mine."

"Nonsense," Loki stood back up, "I shall do it but tell me what you wish."

Grace rolled her eyes and looked at Kurt, "He's unstoppable. Okay then, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon. Got that?"

"Come Kurt, we will fetch breakfast." he tugged at Kurt's sleeve as he walked by.

"Vy must I go vith you?"

"Well are you not going to eat today?' Loki locked arms with him and they headed towards the serving area.

As Grace was writing something more on the clipboard, she was jostled by a heavy thud on the bench seat and Logan slid over to her, "Hey, you know I got a nose for it, what gives?"

"A nose for what?" She bit her tongue hard enough to see stars.

"The kissy huggy stuff, Gracie." he jerked a thumb in the direction Loki had gone, "You and Long Horn getting serious now?"

All at once, she felt content, "Yes we are. We were talking this morning about moving to larger quarters together."

Logan nodded slowly, "You ready to be a mother?"

"Not yet, we're being careful."

He reached over and lightly slapped her forehead, "He's already got kids, Gracie. If they come for a visit, you're going to have to play mommy."

"We talked about that too, I'm already a house mother. I've dried millions of tears and snotty noses, held crying kids, waited out tantrums." She saw Loki heading towards them and smiled.

"What about midnight feedings and diapers?" She heard Logan chuckle and she wasn't sure whether he was teasing or serious.

"I'll deal with that when it comes time, or I'll send them to you."

His laugh made Loki stop his conversation with Kurt and look to where they sat.

"You're pretty funny, kid and I hope you know what you're doing."

"Oh I do." She replied as Loki sat the tray down before her and gave Logan a look.

"Do what, M'lady?"

"You already got him whipped? Oh man, Loki, hurry up and eat. I've gotta get you into the gym and spar with you a bit, going to have to kick the pussy out of you."

"Logan, isn't it too early in der morning for your daily invectives?" Kurt sighed, setting his tray on the table opposite Grace's.

"Isn't it too early in the morning to preach?" Logan picked up Grace's fork and tried to poke Kurt's hand which he'd set on the table. He withdrew it and bared his teeth, "Logan, I vill wrap my tail around your throat, drag you to der ceiling and drop you on der griddle."

Loki laughed at Kurt's rare show of agression, "You vould do the same thing." he muttered as he picked up his own fork and started to eat, "If you had a tail."

Sarah sat cross legged on the bed, exhausted, a pile of papers in front of her, Thor breathing heavily beside her, deep asleep. She listened for a moment as she heard movement from one of the two cribs in the corner of their bedroom. They had discussed moving to an apartment in the center of Manhattan, a larger one with a room for the children. She glanced down at the bottle of blue pills lying on the bed underneath the sheaf of papers. Fury had handed it to her at their meeting that afternoon with explicit instructions as to when she should start taking them. She covered the bottle with the papers again and started to read through the legalese printed on the papers that she'd had the lawyer draw up. After her meeting, she had stopped at the law office of Dewey and Mercer, scanning the papers quickly and asking them what the hell it meant.

Joseph Dewey, the senior partner and a jolly, portly but intense man, had read the first few paragraphs with interpretations until she was sure that it said what she wanted it to. She would keep one copy at home and leave one copy at the lawyer's office.

Fen's little squeaking cry startled her. She quickly shuffled the papers together and stuffed them into the manilla envelope on the floor beside the bed. Thor stirred, raised his head, "It is Fen."

"I know, I can tell."

She lifted the squirming bundle. "He needs to be changed, he's wet all the way through." She received no response from Thor though. He was already asleep again. "Figures."

It took a while to quiet Fen down but fortunately Madison stayed asleep through the whole ordeal. She had hoped that the way she was feeling had been postpartum but she still felt like a live in babysitter to someone else's children. She put Fen down gently, trying not to wake him, and tiptoed back to the bed where she slid beneath the covers. Thor turned over to face her and pulled her against him, slipping back to slumber. She heard Fen moving again but he didn't cry. She had felt alone during her pregnancy, scared, but most of all, ambiguous. She had cried a river of tears, wondering why she couldn't feel anything towards the two miracles feet away from her, until she had come to terms with it. The papers on the nightstand were the only solution she could think of. Sleep came slowly that night as she thought of what was going to happen next.

Loki held the package of push pins up for Grace as she unrolled the pink and red crepe streamers across the top of the doorway leading into the gym.

"Grace, why do you not let me climb the ladder and you hold the package of pins?"

"Because," She gave the crepe streamer a small twist and pushed the pin into the old holes in the wood frame, "I have the artistic ability. You would simply put them up straight, no twist, besides what are you worried about? I'm three feet off the ground."

He put his hand on her calf as she leaned over the top of the stepladder to reach further, "You are still in danger of falling."

She came down the ladder until she was even with him, "Hey for once we're the same height."

He wrapped his free arm around her waist as she leaned over and kissed him, teetering on one foot, her hand at his face. He swung her down from the ladder and broke the kiss.

"We have much more to do, we must not be distracted." another short kiss, "You are the decorating committee," Another kiss, longer this time, their tongues working together, he nearly losing his grip on the container of pins, "My love, you persuade me most strongly to abandon..." he felt her fingers brush against the zipper at the front of his pants, "All thoughts of work, Gods."

The sound of pounding footsteps drove them apart and they stepped out into the hallway to see Logan running towards them. "Loki, Jesus, come on, your brother is here."

A rush of adrenaline hit him as he looked at Grace then back to Logan, "Does he have the children with him?"

"No, there's some other guy though, not the one with the eyepatch. Come on, they're in Ororo's office." Logan tugged at his arm.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Grace held onto his other arm, panic set on her face.

"No, I do not know what he wants. I would rather if they were finally going to take me home that you not have to be there." They started for the door but Grace fell in step with them.

"Like hell they're taking you for one, and for another, I want to be there if they try it."

Loki looked at Logan and shrugged as they started down the corridor.

Thor was standing before Ororo's desk, one hand cradling his elbow while the other he held over his mouth. Beside him, stood Doctor Banner, looking morose and uncomfortable as he stared down at the floor.

"The green menace, dear brother, have you brought backup?" Loki eyed Banner, then stopped before Thor. "What is it you want with me?" The look upon Thor's face took Loki's breath away, his eyes were red rimmed as if he'd been crying.

"Brother? What is it?"

"She is gone, Loki." Thor's face contorted then to rage, "She is gone!"

Grace had hung back when they'd entered the office, catching Ororo's glance as she stood behind the desk.

"Who is gone?" He paused, looked at Banner whose thoughts had always been an open book and his legs gave way as he saw the wreckage in a picture, the car burnt, the hood accordioned in upon itself, motor in pieces along some nameless highway. Only Thor's strong arm kept him from reaching the ground. It felt as if someone else was roaring the word "No" over and over, though he knew it was himself. His mind raced, searching for her, wondering if she was somewhere, comatose in a Manhattan hospital but found only emptiness where her thread had been in his mind and he shoved himself away from Thor.

"How did this happen? How!" He felt blindly for a chair, draped himself over the back, "By the Gods! Thor tell me you lie."

When Loki had cried out, the tears had returned to Thor's eyes and he now stood before him, cheeks wet. "She was driving to Lizzie's, a large truck drove over the middle of the highway and struck her car." Thor's voice was ragged, deep with grief.

"Where are my children?!" Loki swung around as Banner spoke up,

"They're safe, they were in their car seats and people who pulled up on the accident got them out in time. They were brought to the hospital and checked out. They're with Lizzie right now."

"I want to see her." Loki turned, heading for the door, his forward progress halted by Thor's strong hand. He stared ahead, growled, "Take me to see her, Thor."

"Brother, there is nothing left to see. They weren't able to get her out of the car in time."

His eyes shifted to Grace, then rolling back into his head as he collapsed to the floor, Logan and Thor lifting him to the chair, Grace joining them as Logan patted his cheek hard. "Come on Loki, don't bow out on us."

Ororo had stepped out from behind her desk and was now standing behind them. She put a hand on Logan's shoulder and pushed him to the side, kneeling on the floor in front of the chair. "Loki, come on, you want me to call Doctor Adamson?" She looked up at Thor who seemed thoroughly lost, a strange sight in a man his size.

Loki drew in a hitching breath and opened his eyes, nearly starting from the chair until Ororo put a hand to his chest. "I'm going to call the doctor anyway. He'll give you something to relax you, okay?"

Loki shoved Ororo's hand from him and stood up, legs like rubber, "I want to see my children."

He walked up to Thor, "Why are they with her sister?"

"Because she was the closest relative that they could call." Thor put his hand on Loki's shoulder.

"Is there not something called a birth certificate that has the name of the mother and father upon it? Am I not on that certificate?"

Thor hugged him to his chest, "Of course you are, brother, but they contacted the closest relatives."

Loki tore from Thor's grasp. "How soon may I see them?"

"I will ask her tomorrow. I must see her at the memorial service."

Loki pivoted and returned to Thor, "Memorial service? What time? Where?"

Thor looked at the floor, "When I told Fury I was going to come here to tell you about Sarah, he told me to remind you that you are still banned from Manhattan until further notice."

"From a fucking memorial service?" Logan spoke up, "This guy has got to be the world's biggest dick."

Loki nodded, "I know what to do. Where is the service?"

Thor put his hands out, "i know what you are thinking brother. They will take you as soon as they see you, it is only for family, even I am not able to be there." Loki felt a stab of pain at his brother's obvious anguish, angry at the love he could feel coming from his brother's thoughts, "What can you hope to accomplish by such a thing? You must be a father to your children now."

"I thought that she wished you to fill such a role." Loki took a step towards Thor and Banner tensed, took his hands out of his pockets.

"She never told me anything of the sort. She wished you to be a part of their lives." Thor was suddenly at a loss for words, his hands at his head, finally with a groan, he spoke, "Brother, I wish so much to speak with you but this is not the time nor the place. I shall visit you again soon and we will try to wipe away the bad blood between us."

Loki said nothing in return, only stared at him, eyes hard as ice. Thor put both hands on his shoulders, "I share your grief, Loki. We must go, Fury wanted us back at S.H.I.E.L.D by this evening and it grows dark." he leaned in and kissed Loki on the forehead, "Be strong, brother."

Grace nearly had to run to keep up with Loki's long strides, he reaching the door to his quarters long before her. She opened the door to find him prostrate on the floor beside the bed, sobbing, his hands covering his face.

"Loki"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled at her, shying from her touch at his back.

"No, I'm going to stay here until you're done." She sat down beside him cross legged.

"Were it I could CUT out my HEART! GODS, it hurts me so." She returned her hand to his back but he didn't flinch this time, instead leaned over to her until he was draped across her lap, her arms wrapped around his chest, face buried in his neck as she rocked him, silent, listening to him when he needed to talk, soothing him as well as she could until he was quiet. She pushed him up from her, "Come on, let's get you into bed." As she was unbuttoning his shirt, he sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space, there came a knock at the door and Kurt's face appeared around the edge.

"I vanted to come see you as soon as I heard." She glanced at Kurt, hoping he wouldn't send Loki into another paroxysm.

"Thank you." Loki's voice was barely above a whisper.

"It vas Ororo who stopped me in der hallway and told me. She gave me a bottle of something for you to take, from Doc Adamson."

Grace took the bottle Kurt was holding out to her. "It's Valium, I'll get some water." She headed for the bathroom.

Kurt bent over and looked at Loki's face. Loki's eyes skittered to Kurt's. "What if I had stayed with her, if we had continued to run? She would still be alive."

"Ach, vat if's are just dat. Do not torture yourself vith dem." Kurt patted his shoulder.

"I cannot help it. It does not seem real."

Kurt sat on the bed beside him, "It never does. Give it time. Let Grace take care of you."

Loki gave a quick nod. "I must now think of my children, of Fen and Madison. I must see them."

Grace had returned with the water and handed it to Loki. She opened the bottle and took out one pill, handing it to him then replacing the cap.

"Take that and get into bed."

"Ja," Kurt stood back up, "I vill check in on you tomorrow, mein freund, peace be vith you."

As the door closed behind Kurt, Grace took the empty glass from Loki and set it on the nightstand. "Come on," She handed him his pair of pajama pants she'd grabbed from the bathroom door. "Get changed."

She drew down the covers of the bed as he stood unzipping his pants.

"Will you stay here with me?" he asked as he lay down underneath the sheets.

She kicked off her shoes and slid under the covers with him, "I'll stay until you fall asleep and then I'll go down to the gym and help them." She lay on her side and cradled him in her arms, he curling up to her, his arm tight around her waist.

"I keep thinking that it was somehow my fault."

Grace stroked his hair, "It wasn't, get that out of your head now."

"I should never have left her in Maine." She heard his groan, pull her tighter to him and her throat burned as tears sprang to her eyes. "And yet if I had not, I would have never met my kindred soul."

He canted his head upward and kissed her chin. "Gods, I love you, Grace."

"I love you too now hush and let yourself sleep." She felt him shift a bit, settling in, and soon his breathing had changed from strong and deep to shallow and even, his body becoming heavier as his muscles relaxed. Grace closed her eyes, exhausted, worried, even angry at that woman for swinging his thoughts back to her even in death. She hugged Loki's sleeping form closer to her, felt him respond from somewhere in the ether, and carefully extracted herself from his embrace, covering him up before she slipped her shoes back on and left the room.

She returned to Ororo's office where Logan and Ororo were still talking.

"Long Horn asleep?" Logan asked her as she slumped into a chair before the desk.

"Yes, thank god. He was a mess."

"That's rough, having your brother tell you your old flame is dead. Isn't he the one who was banging her now?"

"Logan!" Ororo cried, "Have you got to be so crude?"

"What?" Logan threw his hands in the air, "I was being honest."

"Do you think he'll insist on trying to get to that memorial service?" Ororo looked at Grace who shook her head.

"I don't think so. I'll stay with him tomorrow. Now we have to worry about the kids. I mean did she have a will? Were the children in it? He's the father, do they naturally go to him?"

"Told ya," Logan nudged her and she glared at him.

"Not always, if there was no will, the children will go to whomever the court thinks will raise the child properly, she has a sister in Far Rockaway and that's where they are now." Ororo glanced at her phone, considering a call to Fury. "Tomorrow I'm going to call S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Make sure you get her sister's phone number and address, unless they want to come here with the babies, he's going to get insistent real quick and I know how determined he can be."

It was nearly midnight before Grace slipped beneath the covers beside Loki who was still asleep. She curled up behind him, knees bent into his and wrapped her arm around his stomach, feeling him arch slightly into her embrace as the events of the day played out in her mind, carrying her into her dreams.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki was not in bed beside her when she awoke the next morning and she started to panic until she heard voices in the hallway. She got up, pulled on the pants and t-shirt she'd tossed on the nearest easy chair the night before and cracked open the door.

Loki was leaning against the wall in the hallway, Logan standing in front of him with his arms crossed.

"I'm trying to determine whether or not he was planning on sneaking out."

Loki was clearly aggravated but he gave Grace a sad smile, "And I told him that I was going for a walk."

Logan cast a sidelong glance at him, "And who's called God of Mischief here? Not me."

Loki gave a loud sigh, "I only wished to go for a walk, by the Gods!"

"Go ahead Loki." Grace waved at him, "I'm going to go to my rooms and take a shower then do my laundry. You catch up with me when you want to."

Loki looked at Logan, then with a kiss to Grace, he was off down the hall, through the dusty sunbeams shining through the tall windows.

Logan watched him for a minute, "You're nuts. He's gonna try to make that memorial service, mark my words." He followed Grace back into Loki's rooms.

"How, Logan? He can't drive, he doesn't know where it is." She slipped her flats on and gestured for him to leave the room. She followed him out, closing the door behind them.

"He can read minds, did his brother know where the service was?"

Grace slowed her pace temporarily, "I guess he did." then she shook her head, "Stop that! He's not going anywhere."

"Aw you're so cute when you're in denial." Logan patted her on the head, "I'm going to breakfast. Call me if you can't find him." She glared at him as he pushed through the great hall doors, letting the din of the crowd filter out. She opened the door a moment later, stepped through, scanned the hall then left.

Three times she had to stop herself from looking for him, instead, making herself remain where she was, in the laundry room with students and staff who would occasionally eye her when they thought she wasn't looking.

It was heading towards one that afternoon when Loki knocked on her door and walked in. She was putting clothes away in her dresser and she forced herself to sound nonchalant. "What's up?"

When he didn't answer, she turned around and was startled to find him right behind her holding out a piece of paper with a phone number and an address scrawled on it.

"Ororo looked it up for me. It is Sarah's sister's number."

She took the paper from him, "And her address. Far Rockaway isn't in Manhattan, it's in Queens. Did that jerk Fury mention the five boroughs?"

"I do not understand, Grace."

She frowned, "Never mind. Do you want to call her?"

He sat on the bed, "I would not know what to say."

Grace handed him back the paper and picked up another piece of laundry from the basket at her feet. "How about, _Hi, I'm Fen and Madison's dad and I'd like to come and get them,_ for starters."

Loki put his hands to his temples, "I cannot do that. Ororo said I may not be allowed custody if there is nothing written stating that should be the case. She explained to me that I am not listed as a citizen of the United States, I told her the other countries I am also not a citizen of."

Grace looked over her shoulder at him, waiting until he gave her a wry grin, "All of them."

"Well then you could at least go and see them. Sarah must have had a will or something."

Loki studied the paper in his hands, "I do not know what to do, Odin's beard!"

She picked up the empty basket and set it over beside the bathroom door, "Well perhaps you should look at what your goal is. You want to see the children right?"

Loki nodded.

"According to Thor, that's where they are. You want your children with you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then the only thing left to do is to call her and ask her when is a good time to come over."

When he said nothing more, she took the paper from his hand, "You want me to do the calling don't you."

He looked up at her.

"No matter where you go in the universe, men are all alike." She folded the paper and put it in her pocket. "I don't know what to say either. They don't know me."

"Nor do they know me." He reached up and caught her hands in his, pressing them to his lips, "Sarah was right, I am a coward."

"If I hear that again, I won't do it." She pulled her hands from his, "You're not a damn coward, do you understand?"

Before he could protest, she took his arm and pulled him up from the bed, "Come on, I have another basket to do. We'll stop at your room and get your laundry too."

That subsequent afternoon found them in Ororo's office alone, both of them sitting, looking at the phone on her desk.

"So that we're clear on this, you want me to ask her if you can come and see the kids tomorrow? You don't think it's too soon after, you know...afterwards?"

"A day, a week, a year? It does not matter how long we wait, my children will still be my children."

Grace picked up the phone and dialed the number. As she listened to the rings, she wiped her hands on her skirt, they had suddenly begun to sweat.

When she was about to hang up after five rings, someone on the other end picked up, "Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Grace Archer. I'm the house mother at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in Salem Center, New York, to whom am I speaking?" She grimaced. She knew she sounded like she was conducting an entrance interview.

"This is Elizabeth Tanner." Oh god, was it Misses or Miss, she decided to forgo addressing her.

"I'm calling on behalf of Mister Laufeyson." There was silence on the other end of the phone and she thought for a moment that Elizabeth had hung up on her but finally she spoke again.

"What does he want?"

"He would like to come and see his children, tomorrow if possible."

"I don't think so, it's not..." She heard voices in the background cutting Elizabeth off, could hear a male voice, low and angry, "He's their father, Lizzie, whether you like it or not. You want to get into a legal battle?"

She glanced at Loki who was staring at her, his lips pursed together.

"When does he want to see them? What time?"

She put her hand over the mouthpiece, "What time, Loki?"

He shrugged, "Ten in the morning?"

"Would ten in the morning be alright?" more silence followed by muffled words this time, she was covering the mouthpiece on her end as well.

"Alright, I suppose. Will he be alone?"

"No ma'am, I'm bringing him."

She heard a sigh on the other end. "Do you know where we live?"

"I have the address here," She read it to her.

"Okay, well we'll watch for you then."

Grace said goodbye and hung up. "Well they said yes. She sounded really pissed off. I think you're going to have a time with these people."

As she stood and replaced the phone into its cradle, Loki grabbed for her and pulled her onto his lap where he held her, his head leaning on her shoulder, "Thank you, my love."

"Mmmm, you owe me." She grumbled, then tilting her head back as he nuzzled her neck, "Oh you think that kind of payment is going to work? I'm talking breakfast in bed, folding..." he nipped at her chin, "Laundry..." her eyes closed, "A little more to the right and upward and you can forget the laundry." She giggled as he hit a ticklish spot and she pushed him away from her as she got up from his lap.

"Let's tell Ororo what's going on."

Lizzie bounced Madison while Charlie fed Fen his bottle, she hadn't set down since the phone call. "Let's be honest with ourselves, Liz. You talked to the lawyer yesterday, even though the will has to be read legally, it still stipulates that the children are to go with their father. The temporary custody order is just that, temporary. We have to let them go eventually."

"To a fucking monster? There has to be some way we can stop him." Lizzie peeked at Madison and seeing she was finally asleep, laid her down in the pack and play beside the couch. Before she said anything further, she looked through the big bay window to make sure Daniel was still outside playing in the snow.

"I can bet you he has no idea what to do with a baby." Lizzie stomped into the kitchen.

"Neither did your sister." Charlie said, following her with Fen over his shoulder. He was patting Fen on the back gently to burp him.

"Chuck that's not fair." She was starting to tear up again, "She had a horrible case of postpartum depression. She loved these babies."

"I never said she didn't love them, I just don't think she could handle them." He readjusted Fen, finally receiving a burp for his efforts.

"And now they're going to have the same problem, going to someone who can't handle them."

"It was your sister's choice to hook up with the man. I warned her. Besides, eventually Fen would be going to that school anyway, look at the poor little guy."

Lizzie stroked the black hair atop his head, rubbed the blue skin of his tiny little fist. "This is just horrible." She sniffled.

"Let's just see how it goes okay? We don't have much choice anyhow."

Loki buttoned up his shirt to just below his neck and held out his arms to Grace. "Do I look like a father?"

"You got me. I had quite a few foster fathers and none of them looked like you." She adjusted her black slacks and pulled her light brown sweater down. "What about me, do I look like a house mother?"

"You look like Grace to me."

"Thanks for the compliment." She took her coat from the hook by her door and shrugged it on. "Let's get going, I still have to gas up the school car before we leave and it's going to take at least an hour and a half to get there."

Ororo had patted Loki's cheek before they left, reassuring him. Kurt had blessed him and the car. Logan had wanted to give him a switchblade to take with him but Grace had nixed the idea. Now they had just entered the borough of Queens. Loki, silent and nervous, watched the scenery pass by. Grace reached over and caressed his cheek with her fingers. "Relax, just think, you're going to see your babies again."

"You sound so positive, I wish I were able to share your optimism."

"Honestly I'm a little excited. I love babies and I never got to see them when Sarah visited the school."

Loki smiled, "Will you help me with them?"

Grace returned the smile, "I can't wait."

She started awake, the pitch darkness sending her into a panic until she recalled where she was. "Lights, fifty percent." She said into the gloom. The lights rose until she could see the interior of the bedroom. She had chosen his former quarters for her final night in Manhattan specifically to torture herself. She'd spent the last three days entertaining multiple scenarios, telling herself to walk out of the building and never come back, listen to what Fury was telling her to do, call Thor, call her sister.

When Fury had handed her the bottle of pills the day after her visit to Loki at the school and asked her if she really wanted to disappear off his radar and start over again somewhere else, she had taken the bottle and told him that she needed to do some serious soul searching first. Her career had been her highest goal, her most cherished achievement in her life, giving her some of her proudest moments. She had seen fellow agents die for the cause and she had truly related to that commitment.

The pregnancy had signified an end to all she'd worked for and she knew she would blame those two innocent lives for ruining the rest of hers if she stayed where she was. She'd come to this revelation, deciding to make out her last will and testament to assure that the children would go to Loki. She owed him and the children at least that. He was a teacher at a school for mutants for chrissakes, Fen at least would need that environment. She felt deep regret for Thor, he had rejected Jane for her and now he would be alone again but there would be other women for him, she knew that. Her family was the hardest, her mother and father, her sister. The morning she 'd gone to Fury and told him that she would accept his offer, she had asked about telling her family what was going to happen and he had been adamant in his refusal, telling her that for this to work, everyone involved would have to be kept in the dark. The night of the alleged car accident had been the worse night of her life and it was the closest she had come to reneging on her agreement when she had given the carriers containing Fen and Madison to one of the paramedics from the ambulance that had arrived on the crash scene.

The urgent beeping on the nightstand beside the bed made her sit up, "Goddamn it," She hopped out of bed and trotted into the living room to her pocket book. She had been set to take another of those damnable blue pills at eight and now it was nearing ten in the morning. Even though the hated things made her tired and groggy half the day, she disliked that kind of window seeing as the pill would take thirty minutes at best to hit her bloodstream and be effective, though by now, there would be no reason for Loki to look for her ever again, she would still keep taking the pill until she was back in California at Alpha One again. She swallowed the pill down with a glass of water as she stood at the sink, all at once needing to close her eyes as scenes kept coming back to her of the time spent in this room with him. She returned to the bedroom, pulled the duffel from under the bed and went into the bathroom to collect her toiletries. She was going to have to get to the airport by noon at the latest to get through check in.

Grace pulled into the driveway of the ranch style house in Far Rockaway and shut down the engine. They both sat there listening to the ticking of the engine as it started to cool quickly in the cold February air.

"Let's do it." Grace got out of the car first, stood waiting as Loki slowly exited the passenger side and shut the door.

She didn't wait for him to move but started up the steps to the front door and pushed the button for the doorbell.

After a couple minutes, the door was answered by a blond woman of medium height with a slight chubbiness to her. She looked at Loki, then at Grace, "Come in, the babies are up in the living room near the fireplace. It's cold today."

Charlie was standing at the top of the stairs with Madison in his arms and he stepped back as Loki made the landing and turned to him, "I remember you."

"And I remember you too." Charlie mumbled.

Loki held out his arms to Charlie and though he hesitated, Charlie handed Madison over to Loki who cradled her while he walked over to look at Fenris who was fast asleep in his carrier.

"They have grown."

Grace had followed Lizzie up the stairs and was now standing beside Loki, touching Madison's head, the silky hair there. "Kids do that, Loki."

He was smiling down at Madison, "They are well cared for. When shall I be able to bring them home with me?"

Lizzie looked at Charlie, "The court has given us temporary custody for now, until the will is read. Then if no one objects, the transfer will be made, but for now they stay with us."

"What is a will?" Loki's smile had faded and he lifted Madison to his shoulder.

"It's a piece of paper stating what someone wants done with their earthly possessions after they've died so their families don't have to guess or argue about who gets great grandma's silver plate or the family home." Charlie looked back to Lizzie.

"And how soon will this paper be read?" Loki had handed Madison to Charlie again as he bent down and took Fen from his carrier.

"I don't know," Lizzie spoke up, "The lawyer said he would call us this week to make an appointment when we could all be together."

Grace surmised that Lizzie and her husband were at least comfortable. They had a nice house, the living room was bigger than most of the places she'd lived in as a child. She could see a nice large kitchen with a huge center island through one of the archways, a nice deck through sliding glass doors beyond that and another set of stairs leading up to what must have been bedrooms and bathrooms on the second floor.

"You have a beautiful home." Grace said to Lizzie who gave her a thin lipped smile,

"Thank you."

Loki looked down at Fen who had awakened and was looking up at him with ruby red eyes. He had never tried for the obvious reason that there was little he could glean from the mind of a baby but he wanted to see what had happened the day of the crash, wanted to see Sarah one more time and he searched the small mind before him.

Grace was squatting down in front of Madison's carrier playing with her little hand, watching the fingers grasp her pinky when she heard Loki above her, "Grace," She glanced up at him and was alarmed at the look he was giving her. She stood up as Loki was handing Fen to Charlie. "We must leave."

"Now?" She stared at him.

"Yes, we need to be back at the school soon." If she had started to form words in her head to say, his returning stare stopped them dead on her tongue.

He had his hand at Fen's forehead, stroking it but she could see from where she stood that he was visibly trembling.

Grace turned to Lizzie who was standing back from them, her face set and hard. "You'll call us when the will is going to be read?"

"I'll call the school and tell them." She offered no more information just watched as Loki took Grace's arm and gave it a slight tug.

"If you will excuse us, we must be going."

Once they were outside again in the driveway, Grace looked at him, "Okay what's going on?" but he held up his hand for silence as he closed his eyes and after a second's hesitation had to put his hands on the hood of the car for balance. As he was opening the passenger side door, he growled, "We must go to Manhattan, now."

Grace had come around the drivers side and was about to fasten her seat belt when she heard him. "Oh hell no. There's no reason to go to Manhattan except to get your ass tagged and bagged." She felt his hand grab the front of her sweater but was unprepared for the vehemence of his reponse as he drew her towards him, "Sarah is alive." He hissed, "She is at S.H.I.E.L.D at this very moment."

"Bullshit." She yanked the front of her sweater from his grasp and started the car. "What makes you say that?"

"I looked into Fen's mind and I saw her handing the carrier to a man beside an ambulance. I could see the wreck of the car behind her, in flames so I searched for her mind and found her in Manhattan, but faint, I am not sure why. We must hurry lest we lose her."

She backed out of the driveway. "I say we go back to the school like we said we were going to."

"No!" he roared at her, "I will find her and bring her to task."

Grace gripped the steering wheel and returned his anger with equal vengeance, "NO! I'm not going to lose you. If they see you in Manhattan, you're fair game and I'm not going to be a party to it."

She turned to him and was startled to see Charlie sitting beside her, "They will not see me, Grace, no one will except her."

She looked in her rear view mirror, hoping they were far enough away from the house. "Stop it please. I can't stand it when you do that."

Loki sat back in the seat, "We must find her."

Grace was heading for the highway, "What will you do when you find her? I mean something is drastically wrong here, can't you feel it?" She put her hand atop his fist and felt the cold skin beneath her fingers, the tremble of tense muscles.

"There is much wrong. I must do this. I must find out why she has done what she has done."

She signaled the turn onto the Rockaway turnpike, "This is insane, Loki. Do you really want to know the truth?"

"There can be no other choice. If I do not find her and talk to her, I will spend the rest of my days asking myself why."

She could hear the pain in his voice and she squeezed his hand which relaxed to grip her fingers.

"This is not good."

Sarah pulled on her pants and looked at the clock on the nightstand, nearly eleven. She was going to have to do some running to get to the airport. She considered having Fury bring one of the company cars around to the foyer but she preferred to take one last look at the city. She would take the subway instead. It was quicker than fighting traffic in a car or a taxi. She grabbed her duffel, walked into the living room and took one last look around then stepped out into the hallway ready to head for California.

The traffic was typical for a Thursday morning but she could tell Loki was getting more and more agitated as they crept through the city. He had told her to head towards the Chrysler building, S.H.I.E.L.D was in a tall office building beside it. Grace had rarely been to New York and her knuckles were white as she watched the building loom closer, listening to Loki as he fed her directions.

Sarah stepped out into the cold February air punctuated by the sunshine mocking her with its bare warmth. There were few people on the streets and she was glad of it as she headed for the subway station nearby, her duffel slung over her shoulder, her head starting to get that drowsy feeling as the pill started to hit.

"I am losing her, Gods, hurry!" Loki cried as they turned onto Lexington avenue which would take them past the office. The traffic had stopped for a red light when Loki found her, walking past their car on the right hand side of the street. He flung open the door. Grace swore, "Jesus fucking Christ!" throwing the car in park and looking in the direction he had gone, panic setting in as she realized she couldn't find him. She got out of the car to honks and beeps and ran for the sidewalk.

Sarah heard a shout and turned to see Charlie coming towards her. She had a moment of panic but figured that if the jig was up at least Charlie would have some idea of why she'd done it, but there was no smile on his face as he took her arm, leading her down an alley they were just passing to her left. She was suddenly frightened, would they kill her? Had she really screwed up this bad?

"Charlie wait let me explain."

She was being shoved into a doorway, and she hit hard, one hand pinned to the door the other twisted behind her back, her legs to the side trapped by his own, pressing hard, and all at once the feel of burning cold steel against her throat, stinging.

"Oh god," She gasped, "Please Chuck not like this."

"You LIED!" Loki roared, his features dissolving until he stood before her, the dagger of ice pressed to her neck.

"Loki, oh Jesus." She thought of the gun in her side holster, useless with her hand trapped to the door.

"You lied to Lizzie, to me, to your beloved THOR!"

She felt the knife press harder, "I had to do what I thought was right."

"What sorcery did you use to hide from me? TELL ME!"

"The bottle of pills in my duffel bag." her voice cracked, "They're anti-epileptics, they alter the alpha waves in the brain."

"So that I could not read you," His face was inches from hers, "What of the children? WHAT OF THEM!"

Grace heard people yelling at her to move the car but she was too intent on finding Loki. She ran in the direction he'd gone, nearing the alley where he'd taken Sarah when she heard him shouting. She could see him pressed against her in a doorway about halfway down the side of the building and she stopped.

"You abandoned them, left them with your sister." he had eased his grip on her wrist a bit.

"I put in my will that the children should go to you." She moved her wrist to see if he would let go but he only pressed the knife harder in, she yelped as the knife broke the skin.

"I never intended to have kids, Loki" She was beginning to cry, "Fury wanted me back at Alpha One and I knew I couldn't take the babies with me."

"Loki?" Sarah looked towards the voice and saw a young woman standing there a few feet from them, "You need to stop this."

He never acknowledged the woman, never turned towards her.

"I saw into Fen's mind, I saw the last image of his mother handing him to a man she did not know and walking away. Did you abandon him because of his color or because of his father?" His voice was hoarse.

"I didn't abandon them. I told you they're yours. Please Loki, let me go."

He was shaking, tears standing in his eyes. "I loved you, by the Almighty Allfather. You have betrayed everyone for your own selfish reasons."

The dagger of ice dissolved into his hand and he stepped back from Sarah. She was holding the wrist he'd shoved against the door. "Damnit Loki, why did you have to come looking for me?"

He felt Grace's hand at his elbow, "Let's get out of here while we can."

Loki turned his head to stare at Grace, "You are right. There is nothing here for me anymore."

Sarah had reached into her right pocket when he'd turned to Grace, hitting the silent alarm on her cell phone with her thumb. Her head felt fuzzy now, the pills had hit her hard again.

"I will raise our children, Sarah, with Grace." She saw the woman smile up at him, adoration plain upon her face and she was suddenly angry.

"Does she know everything about you?" Sarah started towards them, stopping when Grace held up her hand.

"More than you ever will in a lifetime."

Sarah was counting the seconds as they ticked by, grasping at straws, "I'm sure there are things he hasn't told you."

"And I'm sure there are things you haven't told him." While she spoke, Grace had removed her glove and all at once she grabbed Sarah's hand tightly, the images rushing through their contact like a giant conduit, the babies being born, Thor's face above her in a darkened room, Fury handing her the bottle of pills, the cabin at the lake, the gala, Loki curled up before her in bed, and then her hand reaching into the pocket of her coat for the cell phone.

She let go abruptly, Sarah was panting, holding her hand to her chest. "You slept with her?"

Grace took his hand, "Loki there are agents on the way here, we have to go."

Loki glared at Sarah, "It would seem we have both been undone by Fury. Before I go, I must tell you something I learned from Thor when he told me about your alleged death. The oaf was so grief stricken that he could not be bothered to hide his thoughts from me. Do you know that Fury was behind your seduction?" Grace was trying to push Loki before her, "That he forced Thor's hand in order to drive us apart?"

"You are a damn liar!" She cried, hating the smile that crept onto his face.

"You did not know he was a skilled trickster as well, though he ended up caught in his own web."

"Loki!" Grace shouted, "We have to go."

Loki took one last look at Sarah and they both started to walk towards the main street.

"Stop Loki!" Sarah yelled.

He whirled around nearly toppling Grace who joined him, backing up into his chest as she stared down the barrel of Sarah's service revolver.

"Sarah, put that away, it will do you no good." Loki stared at her and she felt her confidence waver, _where the hell were the agents_? "It would seem you have forgotten who I am already."

He turned, waved for Grace to start walking again.

"Loki, please stop, don't make me do this." Sarah yelled, watched Loki shake his head, keep walking.

"This is your final warning!" Her arms were shaking as she tightened her finger on the trigger and Grace, looking over her shoulder, saw the movement of her forearm.

Loki heard the echo of the pistol shot loud in the alley way and he flinched, ready for impact, instead hearing Grace give a thin reedy cry of surprise. He pivoted around to find Grace on her hands and knees behind him, the bloom of blood beginning to darken her winter coat and the dirty snow on the ground below. "Loki, shit." her voice was small, weak.

He dropped to his knees beside her, his breath coming ragged as he looked over his shoulder at Sarah who was standing there, her revolver limp at her side, hand to her mouth.

Footsteps were fast approaching behind him but all he could feel was rage, pure white hot anger as a growl rose in his throat to a roar and he was on his feet, running towards her, the footsteps growing louder, accompanied by shouts of "Halt!" and "Stand down." Sarah was backing up down the alley, starting to raise her gun again, shouting to the agents behind him, "Tazer! Tazer!"

Bright pain shot through him, a hundred times stronger than the perimeter bracelet, a thousand times harder as every muscle in his body convulsed, dropping him to his knees. He struggled to regain his footing, the goal before him, to have his hands around Sarah's neck, spurring him on until he was feet from her and the second and final jolt grayed out then blackened her face staring down at him below a clouded gray sky.


	14. Chapter 14

He was on his knees, he had been meditating for the last three hours. He'd awakened in the holding cell, on the floor, the glaring lights from the high ceiling casting harsh shadows on the floor. With no way to tell the time, he had no idea how long he'd been out, where he was though he was surely at S.H.I.E.L.D. The only thing he was sure of as he sent his mind out to her, was that Grace was alive, hurting, but alive. He needed to see her before Thor came to take him to Asgard, to tell her how sorry he was, that he should have listened to her. They should have returned home to the school. He wanted to thank Kurt for the many nights he'd sat and talked with him, the numberless games of chess they'd played, the advice he'd given. Logan for the chance to prove himself able to do more than just take up a room in the mansion. Ororo for her fierce defense when Fury would have sent his entire compliment of agents to drag him back to Manhattan. He wanted to see them again, the mansion, his students, his bed.

He opened his eyes when he heard a small beep in the silence of the cell. "Brother, I would speak with you."

Loki sighed wearily as the cell door slid open and Thor walked in.

"Must I leave so soon?" he stood up waiting for Thor to take him by the arm and lead him through the door.

"I only want to speak to you. It has not been determined what shall happen to you as of yet."

Loki stared at the floor, "I expected to be in Asgard by now."

Thor put his hand on Loki's shoulder, "Fury spoke with Miss Munroe. What happens will depend on..." Loki felt a twinge of empathy as Thor struggled to maintain his composure, "Sarah."

"Why did she lie to us, brother? Can you tell me?"

Loki shook his head, "I cannot tell you what I do not know. Her mind is closed to me as Fury's is. Those pills she takes clouds her thoughts. It is better not to know anyway. Perhaps it is recompense for your own misdeeds."

Thor had covered his face with one hand, "I did not want to do what Fury asked of me but he said it was the only way to keep you safe and away from the city, then in the course of time, I fell in love with her. Forgive me brother."

"What was there to do? It is what it is, and Fury has played us all for fools."

Thor stood back from Loki, "What is it you most wish for?"

"To go home."

"To Asgard?"

"To the school."

They were silent, then, "Will you return to Asgard to stay, Thor?"

"I have thought of it. I may in time make amends to Jane but it shall be a long laborious road."

Loki looked about the empty room, "I must make peace with myself," He knelt back down on the floor, hands open on his legs.

"I will leave you to rest. I will come and see you if I am made privy to any more information."

He had fallen into a light doze when the quick beep jerked him awake. He raised his head and realized he was extremely thirsty. The door to the cell slid open.

Sarah walked over and knelt in front of him, staring into his icy blue green eyes.

"You are a brave woman to have come here alone."

Sarah shrugged, "I have a tazer in my jacket pocket. I'm not stupid."

He glared at her but said nothing more.

"I talked to Grace." Sarah watched Loki's reaction, "She's alright. You know when she saw I was going to fire on you, she stepped in front of you."

Loki was stunned, "You did not mean to shoot her?"

"No I meant to shoot you, I knew it wouldn't kill you, but I was hoping to slow you down until my backup arrived. She thought she was saving your life."

"I must see her, please Sarah, before I go. Could you arrange that?"

Sarah sat down on the floor, knees to her chest, arms wrapped tight around them.

"Did Thor come and talk to you?"

Loki nodded, "He told me of Fury's deceit. Why does everyone do what that one-eyed bastard orders them to do?"

"Why would you obey Odin? Because he is the leader, people obey their leader."

"And people also rebel when they determine that their leader has failed them."

Loki clasped his hands in his lap, "Thor says he is returning to Asgard. Are you going to ask him to stay?"

"Do you think he would?"

"I have not the slightest idea. He spoke of making amends to Jane."

Sarah shifted at the mention of Jane's name, "That was really rough. They nearly had a knock down drag out fight the night he told her about he and I. We had agreed that I wouldn't be there when he broke the news in case she went for me. I said he had brass balls to face her alone. We moved out that next day, got a place in the city."

"Logan taught me a saying when I became interested in Grace, _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, _It would seem he was right."

Sarah sighed and rested her forehead on her knees, "We were so damn dumb weren't we?"

Loki sat down on the floor beside her, his legs crossed, "No, we were not dumb. We were impulsive, reckless, in love."

"Do you hate me now?" Sarah peered at him.

Loki took a long minute to answer, "I do not think I could ever hate you. I am angry with you but much more than that, I pity you."

"I don't need it." She murmured, "Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Good because she really loves you." She dropped her knees to the side, planting one hand on the floor, "Was it easy to fall out of love with me?"

"For a time I was beside myself because I could not accept that I loved two women, but the more I saw you gravitating to Thor and the more time I spent with her made it impossible to deny where my heart had finally turned. No Sarah, it was not easy."

He heard her sniff, and realized she had been crying. He looked over at her.

"I don't suppose it makes up for anything now but I'm sorry for what I've done."

Loki found he couldn't answer her, was unable to reassure her, "Will you still go to California?"

"Yeah, my flight leaves tonight." She grunted as she stood back up, "I think I'm getting too old for this stuff."

Loki stood with her, "Sarah, I beg you, ask them to let me see Grace."

"Sure, Loki. I have to go." Even though it was strict policy to maintain a safe distance with hostiles, she put her hand to his cheek, "I'm sorry."

He watched the cell door slide closed behind her, returning to his knees, needing to meditate to center himself again, his emotions in turmoil. He took a deep breath, then another, as his heartbeat began to ease.

He had stretched out on the floor some time later, sleep overtaking him. The hand at his shoulder was unexpected and he took a sharp breath inward as he rose from the floor and looked up to see Thor standing over him. "Come brother," Thor said, "It is time."

The journey down the corridor to the elevator only served to mount his panic as he saw Fury and two agents waiting there beside the door. As he stepped onto the elevator behind them, he had a brief feeling of peace, of seeing Asgard yet again, the palace, his mother. He watched the numbers climb from the sub-levels upwards until they stopped at the main floor and stepped out into an empty corridor. Fury walked with long purposeful strides to a door, stopping as it slid open before him. They followed him inside, Thor, Loki and the agents. There was a large long black table with a number of black chairs around it.

"Sit," Fury gestured to them as he looked at the mirrored wall behind him.

One of the mirrored panels opened and in walked Ororo and Logan followed by Grace. Loki was out of the chair before the agents could react but Fury held up his hand to them.

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight squeeze, felt the lump of something soft beneath the back of her shirt, "Ow! Oh Loki not so tight."

"Forgive me, my love." He pulled out a chair for her, "Sit, please," He took her arm guiding her to the seat and sitting beside her, his hand never leaving her arm.

"Okay," Fury's voice boomed in the interior of the meeting room, "We have a lot to cover and I would like to get out of here before suppertime so let's get started shall we?


	15. Chapter 15

She could hear them, their little feet padding across the wooden floor, and she smiled to herself.

"Shh, you wake her up."

"Nuh uh, you're going to"

She felt him chuckle at her back, pull her closer to him, his hand splayed across the swell of her belly and she felt the baby move in response. It never ceased to amaze her that every time he would touch her belly, the baby would start dancing like her uterus was the world's smallest nightclub.

"They moved, I think they're waked."

"If you are not both quiet, they vill be, now be still, mein liebchen."

She opened her eyes beneath the covers in time to see the pointed tip of a tail slip beneath and slowly lift the covers from her face, she closed her eyes just in time to feel the cold air of the room rush in and a small hand on her cheek, "Mommy, wake up."

She tried hard not to smile again until she felt a small nose touch hers and a whisper, "Mommy, it's avinersary day."

She began to giggle then, and opened her eyes to see Fen, his head on the pillow, smiling at her. "She's awake!"

"Vat about your papa? Ach, don't climb over her, lieb. Remember der baby."

She lifted Fen over her and set the little three-year old between her and Loki who groaned and pulled the covers over his head as Fen started to laugh and pull them backwards in return.

Grace quickly got out of bed to let them wrestle, smiling at Kurt who stood there holding Madison on his hip. She had the tip of his tail in her hand and was hugging it like a cherished doll.

"If you're not careful, she'll never let that go." Grace held out her hands to Madison who leaned over to her with one hand out, "You've got to let Uncle Kurt have his tail back first."

She shook her head and clung back to him. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, "You should not be lifting so much anyvay. It is getting closer to your time."

Loki had managed to pin Fen down to the mattress so he could get his feet planted on the floor and he stood with Fen clinging to his neck, giggling wildly.

"Happy Anniversary, mein freund. I cannot believe you have been married a year. Vat are your plans for der day?"

"Well, I believe Grace and I had discussed going for a drive north and seeing where we end up. Perhaps get some supper somewhere. We'll be back before midnight. I think you and Kitty will have your hands full with these two maniacs." he held out his hands for Madison who finally relinquished Kurt's tail for her daddy's arms. "Thank you again for offering to watch them and I sincerely hope that you will survive it."

"I vill find plenty for dem to do, trust me. Dis is a school, for heaven's sake."

Loki set Madison down on the floor and Kurt took her hand, "Say goodbye to mama and papa, lieblings. Den ve vill go to der gym and run around like crazy peoples, ja?"

They kissed Fen and Madison goodbye, listening to them babble on to Kurt as they headed down the corridor, then Loki turned to Grace and caught her in a soul searing kiss, his hands on either side of her stomach.

"I cannot wait, in all truth. I wish to hold this baby in my arms right this very minute."

Grace drew her nightgown over her head and looked at her profile in the tall mirror, the curve of her seventh month belly, her rounded hips. Loki came up behind her, cupping her breasts with his hands.

"I never knew the girls would get bigger when I got pregnant." She looked down at his hands, "They're not too big now are they?"

She smiled as he laughed, "Never." She shoved his hands away.

"Come on, let's get dressed and get going while Kurt is still in denial."

She donned the new maternity dress she'd bought last week, and went into the bathroom to brush her hair. "I'll be so glad when we can finally move into one of the family units next month. Piotr promised to help us, did you know that?"

"He did tell me, yes." Loki pulled the v-neck shirt over his head, lifting his hair from out of the collar. Grace, back in the bedroom, watched him. "Your hair is getting long again, are you leaving it like that now?"

"Do you want me to?"

She ran her hand through the long tresses and he shivered, "Ah, for a while until it makes you crazy, then you can cut it."

As they walked into the large garage and grabbed the keys for the company car off the pegboard, Loki stopped. "Did you inform Ororo we were leaving?"

Grace nodded, "Yes I did."

One large stipulation on that day three years ago, besides the threat of the third strike rule if he set foot in Manhattan ever again, had been that they were never to go anywhere outside the compound without the company car which was GPS monitored. They were also to inform Ororo where they were going, when and for how long. Two weeks before, when they had brought Fen and Madison to Rutland to meet up with Sarah and her parents, they had gotten turned around, ending up slightly lost, causing Ororo to call them in a panic to make sure they were alright.

There were few other stipulations, the biggest ones being designed to keep him on the radar at all times, a problem he would never have, the school was his home, his family, he need not stray from there ever again.

"You alright?" Grace had started the car but caught his faraway look.

"I am indeed,"

She put her hand on his leg, "Happy Anniversary."

"Happy Anniversary, my love."


End file.
